Some of my
favourite ( and publishable )
funny stuff. This page are tuned to my personal taste! Please let me know if you are offended or object to anything on it and it will be removed. Model Boat Mayhem DISCLAIMER |
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Send
yours in!
[Email mayhem] Nothing disgusting please! |
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Take a look at the piccies that I took on (Easter) Monday morning on Fuengirola beach. Now that is what I call Boat Modelling!! Adios Amigo. Juan |
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The damaged destroyer HMS Nottingham, that ran aground on Wolf Rock in the Tasman Sea on 7 July 2002, sailed homeward bound during a 12,279 miles journey on board of the Dockwise carrier Swan. To achieve this transport, three recesses were made in the deck of the Swan to accommodate the stabilisers of the HMS Nottingham. This modification to the Swan, and the removal of two blades of each propeller from HMS Nottingham ensured that when loaded, the Nottingham's keel was just 30 cm above the cargo deck of the Swan.
So how
would the skipper explain this one? |
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Messing about on the river...... ( and losing your job!) http://www.manitouboats.com/blog/the-little-boat-that-could/ |
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You see a circle of violet dots. Each of them disappears in order, moving in a circle. Concentrate your sight at the cross, then you'll see the violet dots disappear, and a green dot is moving. If you keep looking all violet dots will disappear and only green dot will keep moving! |
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The worlds biggest Mega yacht / Gin Palace?!? ( Unfortunately this is a over a 3Meg download, Broadband users only! ) |
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A very delicious looking young lady in a mini skirt was standing outside a Ferrari auto dealership and spots the car of her dreams, a brand new Ferrari convertible. Not hesitating a moment, she scurries inside and sidles up to it, bending over to begin caressing the fine Corinthian with her delicate fingers, at which time, unexpectedly, she breaks wind. Looking around to see if anyone heard it, she spots a salesman nearby, hoping beyond all hope he hadn't heard. He smiles and asks if he might help her. She smiles back and and asks if he might tell her the price of her dream car. "Lady, if stroking the leather seat makes you fart, then you'll soil you undies when I tell you the cost of this little beauty." |
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Customer: Worcester sauce crisps
please. |
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Amazing pics of the HMAS Torrens being blown up and sunk. http://www.ssbn622.homestead.com/Sinkex.html |
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There's a
new virus going around. It is called C-Nile. Even the most advanced
programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of it so be warned. It
appears to affect mostly those of us who were born before 1960. |
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A man called home
to his wife and said, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada
with my boss & several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a
good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting so
could you please pack enough clothes for a week and get out my rod and
fishing box? We're leaving from the office & I will come by the house to
pick my things up." "Oh! and please pack my new blue silk pyjamas." The
wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she is, did
exactly what her husband asked. The following weekend he came home a
little tired but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomed him home and
asked if he caught many fish? He said, "Yes! Lots of Salmon, some
Bluegill, and a few Swordfish. By the way, why didn't you pack my new blue
silk pyjamas like I asked you to do?" |
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Oops! |
Hurricane Lili |
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Keep staring at the picture and you will see a giraffe ...... |
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http://www.oceantugbarge.com/PDF/sea%20eagle.pdf |
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cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect." “Really," answered the neighbour. "What kind is it?" "Twelve thirty."
--------------------------------------------------------- Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm. A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?" Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.' "
The doctor said, "I didn't
say that. I said, "You got a heart murmur be careful." |
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"While
taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air flight
departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose
with a United 727. An irate female ATC ground controller lashed out at
the
US Air crew, screaming: "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going?! I
told
you
to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right
there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C And
D,
but get it right!" |
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Things that are difficult to say
when you're drunk... |
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How many people in this drawing? Count again! |
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http://www.oceantugbarge.com/ |
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Two old guys are pushing their trolleys around the supermarket when they collide. The first old guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." The second old guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too, and I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate." The first old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?" The second old guy says, "Well, she is 27 years old, tall with blonde hair, blue eyes, long legs, big & firm in front, cute tight behind and wearing Hot pants. What does your wife look like?" To which the first old guy says, "Never mind. Let's look for yours." |
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“Such
number as may be deemed necessary to perform the stated task in a timely
and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement:
Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "The Lawyer," and the
party of the second part, also known as "The Light Bulb," do hereby and
forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part
(Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of
failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting,
elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front
(north) door, through the entry way, terminating at an area just inside
the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any
spill-over illumination being at the option of the party of the second
part (Light Bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement between
the parties. The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not
be limited to, the following steps: |
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LINKS Ship Accidents |
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