Model Boat Mayhem - Forum

Mess Deck: General Section => Humour => Topic started by: Nemo on April 20, 2016, 08:01:24 PM

Title: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on April 20, 2016, 08:01:24 PM
 :-))
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: ballastanksian on April 20, 2016, 10:01:50 PM
That is the funniest thing I have seen for ages! Thankyou Nemo, you lengthen lives with your humour.
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: TheLongBuild on April 20, 2016, 10:10:28 PM
I don't get it !.
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on April 20, 2016, 10:51:16 PM
Thank you Ian.
Q.  I take it you know how much it costs a Pirate to have a gold ear-ring fitted?

A. - A buck an ear.

Bob.  :-))
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Colin Bishop on April 20, 2016, 10:57:04 PM
Corsair = Pirate

Colin
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: malcolmfrary on April 21, 2016, 08:49:22 AM
Shouldn't that be "Aaarrrggonomic"?
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: ballastanksian on April 21, 2016, 09:23:05 PM
THAT IT SHOULD BE SHIPMAYTE! AVAST YE!

I wonder why they put the AVAST key up in the left corner? That detail cracked me up {-)
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on May 02, 2016, 06:44:49 PM
 O0

Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: ballastanksian on May 02, 2016, 07:43:20 PM
 {-) {-) {-) {-) :-)) You have to love Pirates.
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on May 03, 2016, 10:28:01 PM
Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!  :-))

Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: ballastanksian on May 04, 2016, 10:31:42 PM
Avast ye, these jokes gets betterer and betterer. Yer smart as fresh paint.
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: jaymac on May 05, 2016, 09:05:38 AM
(http://i152.photobucket.com/albums/s161/jaymac_port/Pirate_zpsv9j7lwjj.jpg) (http://s152.photobucket.com/user/jaymac_port/media/Pirate_zpsv9j7lwjj.jpg.html)
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on May 05, 2016, 05:00:11 PM
 ;)
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: NFMike on May 05, 2016, 07:14:53 PM
Even got the tee-shirt ...


(http://www.sol.me.uk/misc/pirate.jpg)
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on May 05, 2016, 08:17:27 PM
 :o
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: ballastanksian on May 05, 2016, 11:11:25 PM
Nooooo! Don't flick the Parrot. The cartoon of the over accessorised (?) Pirate reminds me of Inspector Cleuseau disguised as an pold fisherman with his leaky inflatable parrot!
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: malcolmfrary on May 06, 2016, 09:59:44 AM
Nooooo! Don't flick the Parrot. The cartoon of the over accessorised (?) Pirate reminds me of Inspector Cleuseau disguised as an pold fisherman with his leaky inflatable parrot!
"Thar she blows" as the inflated parrot made its bid for freedom.


I do hope that we can keep this going until September 19th.
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on May 06, 2016, 12:04:54 PM
 :-))
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on May 08, 2016, 10:22:03 AM
 :-)
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Tug Hercules Fireman on May 08, 2016, 04:23:32 PM
Pirate Humour
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: ballastanksian on May 08, 2016, 05:49:59 PM
I love the pirate door catch! I want one of those:O)
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: dougal99 on May 08, 2016, 09:22:30 PM
 1
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on May 08, 2016, 10:20:18 PM
R
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on May 08, 2016, 10:24:49 PM
 O0
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: ballastanksian on May 09, 2016, 08:19:24 PM
AVAST YE LANDLUBBIN TEACHER! I can't work it out!
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: KEMO on May 09, 2016, 09:40:01 PM
Avast ye swabs
                         http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html

Keith
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: dougal99 on May 10, 2016, 08:34:36 AM
AVAST YE LANDLUBBIN TEACHER! I can't work it out!




I'll tell you when I[size=78%]'m in the AREA [/size] :-))
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: malcolmfrary on May 10, 2016, 10:23:11 AM
Shouldn't that be an AHHGHRea?
Or is that a pirates favorite kind of song?
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: jimmy2310 on May 10, 2016, 10:35:47 AM
A pirate captain goes up to his first mate after a raid on a coastal village;
 "A good haul I hope" says the captain.
 "I'm afraid not captain," replied the first mate. "I think we picked a poor village to raid," he continued.
 "What!" exclaimed the captain, "How much money did you get?"
 "All we found were a few copper coins," replied the first mate.
 "Did you try the church? Did they have any fine tapestries or Holy treasures?" asked the Captain.
 "All we got was a wooden altar," replied the first mate.
 "What about the farms?" asked the captain. "Did they have any animals we can eat, or sell at market?"
 "One donkey" replied the first mate.
 "One donkey!" exclaimed the Captain.
 "Aaaargh" replied the first mate, and he continued .................
 .................
 .................
 .................
 (Wait for it)
 .................
 .................
 .................
 .................
 .................
 "It was the only bray in the pillage."



Arrrrrgh

Jimmy
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on May 10, 2016, 06:29:16 PM
Errrrrrr!  %%
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: ballastanksian on May 10, 2016, 07:11:41 PM
Nope don't get it {:-{ Only Bray in the Pillage?  OH!!!!!!! Now I do :}
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on May 10, 2016, 07:31:20 PM
So it was a Welsh pillage?  %)
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: ballastanksian on May 10, 2016, 07:33:33 PM
ARRRGH!
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on May 10, 2016, 07:33:49 PM
'You there, that man! What is that metal thing swinging around on a ropes end from the rigging?'
'It's a Hook Captain'.  ;D
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on May 11, 2016, 11:00:18 PM
 O0
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on May 12, 2016, 10:28:58 PM
 {-) {-) {-)
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on May 14, 2016, 07:20:34 PM
.
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on May 15, 2016, 09:06:17 PM
 ok2
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on June 03, 2016, 04:13:08 PM
Hmm?
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on June 04, 2016, 06:54:31 PM
Tools-arrrrr-Us?-
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: ballastanksian on June 04, 2016, 10:14:55 PM
Excellent! I like the Pyrites of the Carribean image!!

The Swiss army hook looks very useful!!!
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on June 05, 2016, 07:44:07 PM
 <*<
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on June 06, 2016, 11:48:16 AM
 %)
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on June 07, 2016, 09:59:42 PM
 O0
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on June 08, 2016, 09:12:30 PM
R
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: ballastanksian on June 09, 2016, 09:28:39 PM
Captain Loofah Sponge!!!!!!!!!!!!!! {-) {-) {-) {-) {-) {-) {-) {-) That tickled me!!!! :} You are a star Nemo, you really are.
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on June 10, 2016, 12:42:22 AM
Well, how about this IAN?  :-))

Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: ballastanksian on June 10, 2016, 11:41:14 AM
 :} That'll be the pink wind sock then ARRRR!
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on June 10, 2016, 01:58:41 PM
.
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: ballastanksian on June 10, 2016, 09:37:49 PM
 {-) {-) {-) {-) {-)
<IMG><IMG>

 There are so many!!!!!
 
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on June 11, 2016, 12:26:56 PM
 {-)
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on June 12, 2016, 10:27:35 AM
 :o
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: ballastanksian on June 12, 2016, 06:19:44 PM
Ha ha, people and their fertile imaginations! Carri-bean!!!
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on June 13, 2016, 12:07:19 PM
 ok2
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: ballastanksian on June 13, 2016, 08:17:33 PM
'Avast ye at the back, stop flicking weevils at me you swab!'
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on June 14, 2016, 12:25:05 PM
Pi rrrrrrr squared
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on June 16, 2016, 11:59:38 AM
.
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on June 18, 2016, 10:12:05 PM
 %)
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on June 19, 2016, 03:56:12 PM
.
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: ballastanksian on June 19, 2016, 04:56:22 PM
Ships plumber! There are so many variations on a theme and all are funny. That loofah one still tickles me!!
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on June 20, 2016, 09:32:12 PM
R
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: ballastanksian on June 20, 2016, 11:00:46 PM
There are some very skilled and witty cartoonists out there. Thanks for sharing these Nemo:O)
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on June 21, 2016, 11:04:06 AM
Thank YOU Ian. :-))
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: ballastanksian on June 21, 2016, 09:47:43 PM
Are you one of the cartonnists? If so I bow before your bottomless wit:OD

That suited 'Pirate' reminds me of the sequence in Meaning of Life where office blocks sail the highstreets and attack each other for glory and files:O)



Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on June 23, 2016, 02:53:01 PM
 %)
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on June 25, 2016, 03:46:59 PM
 %)
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on June 26, 2016, 09:04:26 PM
 :}
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: ballastanksian on June 26, 2016, 10:51:55 PM
They get betterer:O) I always did wonder at the reasoning behind burying treasure. I mean a pirate will always look like a pirate so hoping for plastic surgery to be invented some time before you are too old to recover your loot isn't wise.
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: tigertiger on June 27, 2016, 02:34:40 AM
...I always did wonder at the reasoning behind burying treasure. I mean a pirate will always look like a pirate so hoping for plastic surgery to be invented some time before you are too old to recover your loot isn't wise.
 






Hide your loot, and you won't have to stump up when it is your round at the bar. %)
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on June 27, 2016, 09:21:09 PM
 %%
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on June 28, 2016, 07:41:42 PM
 >>:-(
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: ballastanksian on June 28, 2016, 08:55:13 PM
I hope the ex pirate's leg is termite proofed.
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on June 29, 2016, 07:31:45 PM
 :o
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: ballastanksian on June 29, 2016, 10:32:42 PM
 {-) {-) {-) I never imagined that Pirates would be such a rich vein for humour.
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: tigertiger on June 30, 2016, 01:37:19 AM
{-) {-) {-) I never imagined that Pirates would be such a rich vein for humour.
   






Not aaarrrf!
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on June 30, 2016, 01:59:44 PM
Must have been good for foot-rot!  :-))
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on June 30, 2016, 02:02:21 PM
 %)
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: ballastanksian on June 30, 2016, 08:20:48 PM
What a nightmarish sight! Quick, for the love of all that glitters attire ye self:O) As a study, that is quite clever as it really does disarm (and leg) the pirate's reputation.
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on July 01, 2016, 03:22:25 PM
 O0
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on July 02, 2016, 10:03:02 PM
.
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Bob K on July 02, 2016, 10:25:50 PM
I am starting to believe that Nemo may have sourced a first edition of "Complete World Encyclopedia of Pirate Joke Cartoons" . . . .
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: derekwarner_decoy on July 02, 2016, 11:04:32 PM
Yes Bob....and probably the only copy ever offered for sale  O0...............Derek
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on July 03, 2016, 11:49:38 AM
Oh Ye swabs of little faith! %% 

                                     
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on July 03, 2016, 11:51:21 AM
Yes Bob....and probably the only copy ever offered for sale  O0...............Derek

Derek - I would sell you a copy, but it's knot for sail. ;D
Bob.
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: derekwarner_decoy on July 03, 2016, 11:55:48 AM
All good fun Nemo... {-) ...... Derek
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Martin (Admin) on July 03, 2016, 12:57:26 PM
 :-)

Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on July 03, 2016, 01:08:00 PM
Bonus! :-))
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on July 03, 2016, 08:22:35 PM
I could imagine a really stoopid pirate putting his left foot there:O)

I liked the one with the dissapointed 'Walking the plankee'!
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Martin (Admin) on July 03, 2016, 08:31:14 PM
(http://www.kappit.com/img/pics/201405_1810_ebhcb_sm.jpg)


.... is this allowed on Mayhem?!   %)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on July 03, 2016, 08:34:05 PM
Ask the Moderator?
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on July 03, 2016, 08:48:15 PM
(http://www.kappit.com/img/pics/201405_1810_ebhcb_sm.jpg)
.... is this allowed on Mayhem?!   %)

I honestly LOL'd at that!  {-) {-)  I live opposite a row of bungalows containing quite a few of them - some nearly a hundred years old.  ok2

PS: Heard about the German pirate bosun who got the sack for using a cat o' nein tails?  :D
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on July 03, 2016, 09:18:16 PM
Groan!!!!!!!! :-))
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on July 03, 2016, 09:30:22 PM
Groan? I learned today that Noah was the first ever pirate. He built an Aaaaaaark. %) The first animals to board in alphabetical order were Mr & Mrs Aaaaardvaaaark!




Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on July 04, 2016, 06:19:31 PM
Friends, Romans ............  :-))
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on July 04, 2016, 07:26:32 PM
I saw that last one a while back and thought it funny enough to attach.

I will have a look at the method to do this. Very funny by the way isn't it! (Well both are  :-) )
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on July 05, 2016, 12:22:42 PM
 :}
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on July 05, 2016, 06:50:57 PM
There's always one show off eh? It would be extra funny if he had a wooden leg and got the foot caught in a knot hole!!!
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on July 06, 2016, 05:50:26 PM
 :-))
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Netleyned on July 06, 2016, 05:56:43 PM
Repeating yourself AAARRRGH MR NEMO  >>:-(
Too much grog methinks :embarrassed:

Ned
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on July 06, 2016, 09:36:58 PM
Trust you Ned! %)  Just my little test of your memories. Glad you watch though, otherwise I am wasting it!  ok2

To make up for it ..............
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on July 06, 2016, 09:40:17 PM
Like Dads Army, it is good to have repeats of classic things:O)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on July 06, 2016, 09:52:05 PM
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr  lad, thankee!  Strange how spellcheck does not like 'Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr' s?  :}
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on July 06, 2016, 09:53:18 PM
Fret EEE Not Cap'n. Get EE scribblin to entertain us swabs.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: NFMike on July 06, 2016, 10:42:32 PM
I am starting to believe that Nemo may have sourced a first edition of "Complete World Encyclopedia of Pirate Joke Cartoons" . . . .
I'm not sure when but I believe he's changed his avatar to match.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on July 07, 2016, 11:06:00 AM
Getting harder to find 'em troops!
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on July 07, 2016, 07:15:25 PM
Its making sure not to repeat they Cap'n. You are doing fine, smart as paint  :-))
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: john mantova on July 08, 2016, 02:19:24 AM
Pi Aaaaaar squared Got it now ?
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Tug Hercules Fireman on July 08, 2016, 05:15:21 AM
Not quite Pirate; however a Pirate may need ...
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on July 08, 2016, 11:17:47 AM
?
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on July 08, 2016, 09:24:56 PM
Spare slaves and human rights, Pirate style:O) Like it lots!!!
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on July 09, 2016, 09:51:47 AM
 :((
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Tugtower on July 09, 2016, 06:03:46 PM
(http://pre08.deviantart.net/3905/th/pre/f/2013/179/a/0/grammar_pirate_by_scottclarkart-d6b32e6.jpg)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Netleyned on July 09, 2016, 06:14:17 PM
 {-) {-) {-)


Ned
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on July 09, 2016, 08:31:56 PM
Punctuationrates!

Very droll cartoon:O)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on July 10, 2016, 12:41:59 PM
 ok2

Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on July 11, 2016, 09:52:05 PM
One of the best yet.  ok2
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Tugtower on July 12, 2016, 01:08:30 PM
Pirate Technology


(http://www.commonsenseevaluation.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Pirate-Technolgy.jpg)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on July 12, 2016, 07:48:07 PM
That one with the very badly off pirate was a killer! The Uncle Albert of Pirates methinks!
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on July 13, 2016, 06:46:10 PM
.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Tugtower on July 13, 2016, 06:59:58 PM
(http://www.cartertoons.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/plank_safetynet.jpg)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on July 13, 2016, 10:36:07 PM
 {-) {-) {-) {-) Safety net. Rather takes the sting out of piracy doesn't it.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on July 14, 2016, 01:50:01 PM
.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on July 14, 2016, 08:28:08 PM
I'll transition yer plan with my Cutlass you jelly legged swab-by the peg on my leg!

ARRRRGH!
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Tugtower on July 14, 2016, 09:20:35 PM
(http://www.mordantorange.com/images/comics/misc/piratecollar.gif)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on July 15, 2016, 11:13:07 AM
 <*<
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on July 15, 2016, 08:45:29 PM
How topical of you Mr nemo! The old Somalian piracy business has been quiet in the news of late. I assume they still do it.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on July 15, 2016, 09:27:25 PM
OH aaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! M8Y ok2
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on July 16, 2016, 01:06:24 PM
Today's swashbuckler. R.
Title: Re: At last - an Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
Post by: Nemo on July 16, 2016, 04:12:08 PM
"Thar she blows" as the inflated parrot made its bid for freedom.
I do hope that we can keep this going until September 19th.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pN7nmzuvNc
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: malcolmfrary on July 16, 2016, 08:59:59 PM
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Talk_Like_a_Pirate_Day
Three score less five days to go and the the counting down do be progressing, but slowly.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: meechingman on July 17, 2016, 09:22:56 AM
We be markin' the days, me 'ansom!
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: warspite on July 17, 2016, 12:36:03 PM
ARRR, with carfull rationing, we be able to keep it up till the day of appointment.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on July 26, 2016, 08:48:53 PM
 :o
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on July 26, 2016, 10:06:51 PM
'Eggcellent Yolk!!!!' Thanks for sharing that Cleauseu scene, it always make me laugh so much.

Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on July 27, 2016, 02:51:38 PM
 ok2
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Netleyned on July 27, 2016, 06:33:17 PM
Urrgh
Should have gone to Ebony Legs %%


Ned
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Tug Hercules Fireman on July 27, 2016, 07:45:38 PM
The downside of being a Pirate in Canada; the land of the Beaverssssssssss.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on July 27, 2016, 08:39:43 PM
Hi Rick - have you got a pair of these?    %%

Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on July 27, 2016, 08:40:54 PM
 :-))
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on July 27, 2016, 08:43:03 PM
UrrghShould have gone to Ebony Legs %% Ned

Don't you mean Legsavers?  {-)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on July 28, 2016, 09:00:37 PM
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr?
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on July 28, 2016, 11:14:07 PM
That sort of accesseroizin puts the trezure chest at risk lads! FEED HE TO THE SHARKS ARRGGH!
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on July 29, 2016, 02:52:33 PM
'Shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrks? Arrrrrr!
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on July 29, 2016, 03:23:57 PM
.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on July 29, 2016, 09:33:17 PM
Even in the far future (of it's Galaxy) wooden legs were still derigeur for all types of Pirates:O)

Mind you, even Luke gets to walk the plank in Episode 6!!!!
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on July 30, 2016, 10:56:50 AM
 :-)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on July 31, 2016, 09:47:19 PM
 O0
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on August 01, 2016, 07:17:41 PM
 {:-{
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on August 01, 2016, 08:00:26 PM
That first Pirate would be off his trolley staying in piracy!

Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on August 02, 2016, 12:31:13 PM
 ok2
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Phil Ciborowski on August 03, 2016, 12:39:21 AM
Whats a Pirates favorite cookie -  Ships Ahoy

Why are Pirates called pirates? They just Arrrrrgh

only 2 clean ones  I can think of off the top of my head
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Tug Hercules Fireman on August 03, 2016, 03:37:01 AM
Pirate Toast (real; not a joke);


https://www.burntimpressions.com/stock-toast.php?category=fun&page=5

https://www.burntimpressions.com/
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on August 03, 2016, 06:41:45 PM
A TOAST  ...............................
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on August 04, 2016, 11:03:53 AM
 :}
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: tigertiger on August 04, 2016, 01:17:11 PM
Pirate Toast (real; not a joke);


https://www.burntimpressions.com/stock-toast.php?category=fun&page=5 (https://www.burntimpressions.com/stock-toast.php?category=fun&page=5)

https://www.burntimpressions.com/ (https://www.burntimpressions.com/)




Would that be toast and M-aarrgh-mite for breakfast then matey?
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: mrlownotes on August 04, 2016, 01:42:56 PM



Would that be toast and M-aarrgh-mite for breakfast then matey?


Wait for it.......................do I get a prize for marrrmarrrrlade  ?
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Netleyned on August 04, 2016, 03:32:32 PM
Naarrrrgh,
I be sendin the crew round
to maarrrmalize you and
maarrrinade the remains :D


Ned
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Netleyned on August 04, 2016, 03:52:31 PM
I tell ee,
Maarrrghmite be taarrgh for me
pigtail ;D


Ned
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on August 04, 2016, 04:34:43 PM
MaaaaaaarrrrrrMite ??????????? M80  

Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on August 04, 2016, 04:38:37 PM
My Mississ keeps asking, 'Why do you keep saying in your sleep, 'Aaaaaaarrrrrr' when other people snore ? %%  I always reply that my father was very tall and his name was John!
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on August 04, 2016, 11:39:12 PM
All this parleyin on Marrrrrmite be makin me hungry fer vittles.

Where are them crackers and cheese? (no weevils mind:O)!
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: derekwarner_decoy on August 05, 2016, 02:37:38 AM
All this talk of rrrrrrrrrrrrrr's...make it very difficult cause there ain't no rrrrrrrrrrr sound in our National treat :P :P.......Derek


 
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: tigertiger on August 05, 2016, 11:05:01 AM
Veg-arrgh-mite :-))
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Netleyned on August 05, 2016, 11:56:57 AM
All this parleyin on Marrrrrmite be makin me hungry fer vittles.

Where are them crackers and cheese? (no weevils mind:O)!
         


Just give the ship's biscuit a good tap me ansome,
all the weevils they run out.


Ned
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on August 05, 2016, 04:20:52 PM
 :-X
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on August 05, 2016, 04:21:24 PM
Presumably one pair lasts twice as long?  {-) %% :embarrassed: %%
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: warspite on August 05, 2016, 07:59:47 PM
arrr - I remember it well, russel (crows nest) in that there film with the joke about the lesser of two wevills.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on August 05, 2016, 09:03:04 PM
AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! YUMMY! Plento o' extra protein mateys - get it down ye swabs and wash the taste away with a swally o' grog!
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on August 06, 2016, 07:57:19 PM
 ok2
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on August 06, 2016, 08:50:18 PM
Hm, I could not get on with Vegemite and prefer the wholesome nourishment of our Marmite. Toasted cheese and marmite sadwich? Cuisine extraordinaire (or should that be 'Extraordinarrrgh!'
Title: Re: Pyrite Jokes!
Post by: derekwarner_decoy on August 06, 2016, 10:54:10 PM
 ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)...Arrrrrrrrrrrrrr....MarmiteClear....good food for Pyrites. :-))............................ Derek
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on August 07, 2016, 01:35:49 PM
 ok2
Title: Re: Pyrite Jokes!
Post by: Netleyned on August 07, 2016, 02:49:59 PM
;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ...Arrrrrrrrrrrrrr....MarmiteClear....good food for Pyrites. :-)) ............................ Derek




Emperors new clothes methinks %%


Ned
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on August 07, 2016, 04:18:04 PM
Triploons and clear Marmite! I loves it  :-)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on August 07, 2016, 06:44:25 PM
.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: warspite on August 08, 2016, 06:55:45 PM
or 'I'm staying in and doin me arrrrrrr'
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on August 08, 2016, 09:35:28 PM
 :} Don't you mean arrrrrrrrrning?  %%
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on August 08, 2016, 09:36:46 PM
 %)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on August 09, 2016, 08:08:00 PM
A nose patch. I would never have thought of that!!!!
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on August 09, 2016, 08:19:48 PM
 :-))
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on August 10, 2016, 02:26:14 PM
 {-)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on August 11, 2016, 10:49:26 AM
 O0
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on August 11, 2016, 10:18:15 PM
:-))

'And then Hop it!!!!!!!!'

This was in refereence to the cartoon with the annoyed wife in but the quoted post did not include the cartoon!
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on August 11, 2016, 10:20:40 PM
I like the child's pirate T-shirt! Quite educational as well.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on August 12, 2016, 03:24:35 PM
 :embarrassed:
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: warspite on August 12, 2016, 11:23:38 PM
nemo's cat scratching post

just change the cat for a dog and a cocked leg, now that's funny as rot sets in
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on August 13, 2016, 04:06:22 PM
One of the best here ........... {-) {-) %%
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on August 14, 2016, 10:50:38 AM
More symetrical!!! Very Haaaargsh:O)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on August 14, 2016, 07:45:52 PM
 %)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on August 15, 2016, 02:17:00 PM
 :((
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on August 16, 2016, 09:47:12 AM
Jokes are getting a bit patchy!
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on August 16, 2016, 07:45:04 PM
 :D
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on August 17, 2016, 10:24:28 AM
Still patchy - so ......................... O0

 
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Bob K on August 17, 2016, 10:54:29 AM
R.I.P Kenny Baker

(http://i1143.photobucket.com/albums/n626/bobkiralfy/r2d2_zpsgugpk9nd.jpg) (http://s1143.photobucket.com/user/bobkiralfy/media/r2d2_zpsgugpk9nd.jpg.html)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Colin Bishop on August 17, 2016, 11:08:11 AM
That's a good one!

Colin
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Bob K on August 17, 2016, 01:22:40 PM
(http://i1143.photobucket.com/albums/n626/bobkiralfy/aye-matey_zpsqcf5bh30.jpg) (http://s1143.photobucket.com/user/bobkiralfy/media/aye-matey_zpsqcf5bh30.jpg.html)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Bob K on August 17, 2016, 03:50:08 PM
(http://i1143.photobucket.com/albums/n626/bobkiralfy/chest_zpsbpnqlcak.jpg) (http://s1143.photobucket.com/user/bobkiralfy/media/chest_zpsbpnqlcak.jpg.html)


{ only seven Mayhem Posts in five hours, and four of them are mine}
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Jerry C on August 17, 2016, 06:23:26 PM
I've seen more meat on a butchers pencil.
Jerry.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on August 17, 2016, 09:08:44 PM
It's a repeat of one on Page 4 - not that it helps her! O0
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on August 17, 2016, 09:11:20 PM
Still patchy!  :embarrassed:
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: mrlownotes on August 17, 2016, 10:08:28 PM
Pirate has always been 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286
plus a little bit more.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on August 21, 2016, 10:45:25 PM
ARRRGH that it be Aye.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: meechingman on August 24, 2016, 12:18:45 PM
Pirate has always been 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286
plus a little bit more.


Indeed, me hearties. That one will go on and on......
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on August 25, 2016, 01:01:35 PM
Do pi-rates navigate by pie-charts I wonder? ;)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Netleyned on August 25, 2016, 01:48:58 PM
Do pi-rates navigate by pie-charts I wonder? ;)


No,


Arrghstro Navigation  ;D ;D


Ned
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: meechingman on August 25, 2016, 05:59:53 PM
Ooh that sounds painful!  %%
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on August 26, 2016, 01:05:21 PM
 %%
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on August 26, 2016, 10:33:43 PM
There always be one smart arrrrghse!
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Colin Bishop on August 27, 2016, 10:09:02 AM
I'd better not copy it but in today's paper there is a cartoon of a pirate with eyepatch, hook and peg leg in a bar addressing th barman:

" Do I look like a man who bothers about safe levels of alcohol?"

Colin
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on August 27, 2016, 10:15:32 PM
Due to his self-inflicted mania for seeking out silly pirate cartoons etc, Nemo has acquired a hull which is intended, in time, to become a replica of the type of vessel manned by some of the rogues seen in this thread. He is seeking a suitably bloodthirsty and frightening name for his ship and would welcome suggestions - anything other than 'Black Pearl'.  Thankee mateys, arrrrr!  :-))
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Colin Bishop on August 27, 2016, 10:26:58 PM
TAAARHtanic?
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: NFMike on August 27, 2016, 10:39:17 PM
TAAARHtanic?
:-)

In similar vein:
Bismaaarrrck
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Tug Hercules Fireman on August 27, 2016, 11:11:23 PM
What about;

"Mayhem-Arrrk"

"RC-Arrrk"

"Arrrks Folly"

"Nemo's Arrrk"

"Nemo's RC-Arrrk"
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: malcolmfrary on August 28, 2016, 07:39:18 AM
Pugwash had the "Black Pig"
Captain Pigheart had the "Grim "illigitimate"" - somewhere in here - https://captainpigheart.com/tag/ignatius-pigheart/
Sadly, the spelling morality checker changed the name, but a decent thesaurus should provide aid in the matter.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on August 28, 2016, 08:19:04 PM
The Black Gerbil?

Esmerelda?? (Captain Nemo's Seal in the films)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on August 28, 2016, 08:49:58 PM
KEEP 'EM COMIN' MATEYS!! NOT ENOUGH YET!

Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on August 28, 2016, 08:51:42 PM
Paaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrots!!!
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: BrianB6 on August 29, 2016, 12:08:54 AM
Arrrd v ark
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Colin Bishop on August 29, 2016, 12:12:43 AM
What does a Pirate treat his sore bottom with?

AARSEcream.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on August 29, 2016, 07:59:49 PM
I hear that Blackbeard was partial to boiled beef and caaaaaarrrrrrots.  O0
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on August 29, 2016, 08:08:59 PM
I think I have it!  'The Skreaming Skull' and logo for the sail.

I then asked the wife what she thought of it!  Actually, she has the same look when I bring home another new kit!  {-)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on August 29, 2016, 08:42:08 PM
Madam, please control yourself, it's only the pirate's wooden leg.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: malcolmfrary on August 30, 2016, 09:15:38 AM
Scary boat - paint it pink and call it "Christine" - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O08w8CegEeg
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Crossie on August 30, 2016, 07:45:38 PM

 Perhaps Cap'n Nemo, your sailing ship could be named Nemarrsis? It and your harrty band of brigands will then be unconquerable!

                                     Trevor
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Colin Bishop on August 30, 2016, 07:48:30 PM
Nemesis?
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Crossie on August 30, 2016, 08:17:21 PM
Nemesis?


    arr, that be right, Nemarsis a daughter of Oceana(rrr), 
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Netleyned on August 30, 2016, 09:02:48 PM
Gotta be the Aarrgo  :}


Ned
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on August 30, 2016, 09:28:10 PM
Nemesis?

More like NEMOSIS, Colin!  ok2   (Sounds like a disease! {-))

*Just had a thought! NEMO reversed is OMEN - hmmmm!
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on August 30, 2016, 09:31:32 PM
 ok2
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on August 31, 2016, 06:46:29 PM
.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on September 01, 2016, 09:15:18 PM
'Where did they blasted matches go?....... Remind me not to pat my pockets lads ARRGH that smarts!!'
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on September 01, 2016, 09:27:32 PM
One for the original pirates!

Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on September 02, 2016, 08:01:02 PM
 :D
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on September 03, 2016, 08:12:15 PM
 :-))
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on September 04, 2016, 02:39:34 PM
 :}
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on September 04, 2016, 06:04:57 PM
'An not the left one neither pretty maid'
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on September 04, 2016, 06:25:15 PM
Well, at least he is OK for a pair of gloves!  :-))
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on September 05, 2016, 11:34:17 AM
Legless, again! %)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on September 05, 2016, 10:14:17 PM
Classic!
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on September 06, 2016, 10:40:20 AM
Ahaaarrrrrrh! - Don't ye be forgettin' now - or else!!

Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on September 06, 2016, 10:43:00 AM
 %)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on September 06, 2016, 10:13:16 PM
Well now shipmates, I comes with my own prop(s) and I has a lot of experience like.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on September 07, 2016, 11:26:43 AM
 :-)) :-))

Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on September 07, 2016, 10:41:47 PM
 O0
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on September 08, 2016, 03:04:46 PM
 ;)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on September 09, 2016, 07:25:31 PM
 {-)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on September 10, 2016, 03:35:55 PM
 %)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on September 10, 2016, 05:55:47 PM
14,900views!!!!  Pirates must be popular. Robert Newton deserves a posthumous medal!  O0 O0 O0

Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on September 11, 2016, 07:13:10 AM
 ;)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on September 11, 2016, 06:01:17 PM
Pirate shirt!
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on September 11, 2016, 08:32:26 PM
.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on September 12, 2016, 08:46:07 PM
6 Days to go ye swabs!!! AARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on September 12, 2016, 10:02:34 PM
Pirate Hip hop/ARRRRGH and B stars:

Pirate Daddy

ARRRRRGH! Kelly

Swab Doggy Dogg

Kan'EE West Indies (On the Spanish Main)

Fresh (As paint) Prince O'BelARRRRGH!

Tupac ShakARRRGH!

BigEE ARRRGH THAT EE BEE Smalls

SugARRRRRGH! Hill Gang

Del AAAAARGH! Soul

Jennifer Lopez (ER with EE big ARRRRRGHs!)


Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on September 13, 2016, 05:49:03 PM
 %%
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on September 14, 2016, 11:36:11 AM
R.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on September 14, 2016, 09:34:09 PM
An that be one too much Ye swab! Ratatouille don't have real rats in you magey bilge rat ye!!!

R
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on September 15, 2016, 12:34:31 PM
 ok2
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on September 16, 2016, 03:26:05 PM
.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on September 16, 2016, 10:33:28 PM
ARRRGH, but we were thinking the Teddy bear flag might put the target ship in a calmer mood.
Title: For Talk Like A Pirate Day
Post by: Landlocked on September 18, 2016, 11:59:32 PM
The joke is nobody knows what it spells when I fly this hoist on the 19th of September.


Ken/Landlocked


Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Tug Hercules Fireman on September 19, 2016, 12:09:15 AM
Arrgh
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Bob K on September 19, 2016, 02:10:47 AM
(http://i1143.photobucket.com/albums/n626/bobkiralfy/pirateday_zpsxm0hu6vu.jpg) (http://s1143.photobucket.com/user/bobkiralfy/media/pirateday_zpsxm0hu6vu.jpg.html)

International Talk Like a Pirate Day (ITLAPD, September 19) is a parodic holiday created in 1995 by John Baur (Ol' Chumbucket) and Mark Summers (Cap'n Slappy), of Albany, Oregon, U.S., who proclaimed September 19 each year as the day when everyone in the world should talk like a pirate.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iewv4v8CLlU (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iewv4v8CLlU)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Martin (Admin) on September 19, 2016, 10:13:02 AM

Aye!  That it be todaaaye.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on September 23, 2016, 08:30:49 PM
Well scupper me futtocks and slap me in chains, I been a -sailin' in them queer waters of Norfolk fer a week and missed bein' on 'ere to talk like this, but I did frighten a few in Wroxham harhar! Never did find a decent lookin' broad tho'!AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!

Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on September 24, 2016, 02:34:00 PM
 :-)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on September 25, 2016, 08:32:19 PM
 :-))
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on September 25, 2016, 08:41:18 PM
I was too busy thinking of getting a tyre replaced and seeing a friend off to remember talk like a Pirate day. I am ashamed:O(

Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on September 26, 2016, 03:02:48 PM
 :}
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on September 27, 2016, 12:00:29 AM
Then get plucking you Plucking Parrot AVAST YE!
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on September 27, 2016, 09:52:06 AM
.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on September 28, 2016, 09:08:40 PM
A pirate goes to the doctor to get the moles checked on his back. The doctor says, "There's nothing to worry about, they're benign."

 The pirate looks at him surprised and says... "Shiver me timbers! When I spied them in me looking glass this morning, there be only 3!

Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on September 29, 2016, 09:49:08 PM
The captain looked 'daggers' at the fellow next to him at the bar. He mumbled dagers as well.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on September 30, 2016, 10:31:23 AM
 :-))
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 01, 2016, 11:48:23 AM
?
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on October 01, 2016, 03:31:42 PM
Tea, Rum and Doillies:O)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: rnli12 on October 01, 2016, 03:50:55 PM

Hope this isn't as sensitive as other types of humour on here..........

 :}
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 02, 2016, 07:21:14 PM
*****
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 03, 2016, 11:50:39 AM
 :D
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Unsinkable 2 on October 03, 2016, 08:53:35 PM
Arrgh Nemo, I came across ye thread a few moons back an I af te say I Arrgh been gigglin' I be likin' especially the computer keyboard. I really did laugh out loud. Who would have thought that so many pirate jokes were knocking about? Well done, a most different thread. U2
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 03, 2016, 09:08:23 PM
 :-)) Arrrr, thankee matey. I 'preesheates yer likeins! They be getting hard to find these days, like doubloons are! Arr.
 
Title: Re: For Talk Like A Pirate Day
Post by: Nemo on October 03, 2016, 09:15:56 PM
The joke is nobody knows what it spells when I fly this hoist on the 19th of September.
Ken/Landlocked

Be that Arrrrrrrrkansas ?
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 04, 2016, 08:41:25 PM
Every day should be talk like a pirate day! Even if you are an undertaker!  {-)

Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on October 04, 2016, 09:50:03 PM
Now where be my Matalan loyalty cARRRGHd!?
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 05, 2016, 01:37:04 PM
 ;)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 05, 2016, 07:05:34 PM
Now where be my Matalan loyalty cARRRGHd!?

Apologies - I meant Primaaaaaark!  %)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: NFMike on October 05, 2016, 07:14:54 PM
Posh pirates use Marrghs & Sparrghs of course.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Netleyned on October 05, 2016, 09:08:24 PM
Or Haaarrrodds  :D :D


Ned
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 06, 2016, 03:57:26 PM
PIRATE RN funny this time.

How nice of those crew to make model boats for their officers!
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on October 06, 2016, 08:56:58 PM
I wonder where the masts are Lieutenant?
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 07, 2016, 06:41:21 PM
 ;D
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 07, 2016, 07:56:13 PM
 {-)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 08, 2016, 07:37:30 PM
 ok2
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on October 08, 2016, 10:39:56 PM
Brill! I like the Pirate Turtle idea even if it was not a success:O)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 09, 2016, 08:54:00 PM
Arrrrrrrrrrr, fer sure.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 10, 2016, 07:56:58 PM
 %% {-) %% {-) %% {-) %% {-)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 11, 2016, 09:08:22 PM
 ok2
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 11, 2016, 09:23:17 PM
Arrrrr, no joke Mateys - I spied this 'ansom feller at  Pompey Docks today. Din't say much tho' - too much grog I reckoned arrr!
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Tug Hercules Fireman on October 11, 2016, 09:31:14 PM
I see someone "pirated" his sword and hand.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 13, 2016, 08:54:50 PM

 %) %) %) %) %) %) %) %) %) %) %) %) %) %) %) %) %) %) %) %) %) %) %) %) %) %) %) %) %)
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1208199/Shiver-PC-timbers-World-pirate-walk-plank-contest-forced-prove-sea-safe.html



Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on October 13, 2016, 10:56:52 PM
Before ye takes the plunge, can ye do a risk assessment? Hand out the Hi-Vis tunics lads, we must be visible!
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 14, 2016, 08:08:00 PM
 %%
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 15, 2016, 10:53:44 AM
 8)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on October 15, 2016, 03:55:34 PM
ARRGH ye damned greedy Parrit! I told ye to share it with us swabs. Fry he for the sharks lads! ARRRRGH!!
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 15, 2016, 08:29:07 PM
 <*<
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 16, 2016, 11:34:54 AM
.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on October 16, 2016, 06:43:44 PM
ARRRRGH, less oh the Oil of Ulay there shipmate! He needs a touch more MascARRRRRGHa there!

AVAST!
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 16, 2016, 07:43:50 PM
What would I do without you Ian? {-)




Now where did I put the next one ar?
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 16, 2016, 07:46:18 PM
 ;D
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 17, 2016, 07:55:21 PM
 %)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 18, 2016, 09:18:10 PM
Anyone fed up yet?  %%
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: NFMike on October 18, 2016, 09:35:51 PM
I think the bottom of the barrel may be approaching - but there's still the odd diamond dubloon in there  :-))
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 18, 2016, 10:06:13 PM
Due to his self-inflicted mania for seeking out silly pirate cartoons etc, Nemo has acquired a hull which is intended, in time, to become a replica of the type of vessel manned by some of the rogues seen in this thread. He is seeking a suitably bloodthirsty and frightening name for his ship and would welcome suggestions - anything other than 'Black Pearl'.  Thankee mateys, arrrrr!  :-))

Here she be - slow goin' as other ships on the go. My late  Auntie Mary Black would be tickled to see how I named my new ship heehee! Hull cost me a tenner and she is all scratch from the scrap bin. Fitted her with (shock-horror) a motor, as I want the kids to 'ave a go and the sails will be furled less we 'ave  embarrassin' incerdents har!  I'm lookin' fer some wee skeletons fer my crew - get it?? BTW, plank is made and waitin' fer use! :-))


Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 18, 2016, 10:11:16 PM
I think the bottom of the barrel may be approaching - but there's still the odd diamond dubloon in there  :-))

If I can find 'em!!!!!!!!! O0  Come on you lubbers! Or maybe you'd like to have a close look at the keel?

Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Tug Hercules Fireman on October 18, 2016, 11:52:23 PM
A few more in the 'ole Treasurable Chest ...
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Tug Hercules Fireman on October 19, 2016, 12:01:37 AM
... and ...

Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Tug Hercules Fireman on October 19, 2016, 12:08:08 AM
... and ...
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 19, 2016, 09:19:11 PM
 ok2
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Tug Hercules Fireman on October 19, 2016, 10:45:24 PM
 ... and ...
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on October 19, 2016, 11:22:06 PM
Welcome aboard matey! Thems some fine laughin vittles Hercules!

Well shivver me timbers Cap'n, that tub is a fine memorial to her memory/May she sail in peace except when the little nippers runs her a ground or against other ships ARRRRRGH the ignomy:O)

Yer doin fine Cap'n, the barrel's barely broached.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 21, 2016, 08:32:56 PM
 :-)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on October 21, 2016, 09:58:10 PM
BE THIS PYRATES O' PENZANCE OR CUTTHROATS O' CROYDON?
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Tug Hercules Fireman on October 21, 2016, 10:04:19 PM
  ...  and  ...
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 22, 2016, 09:32:11 PM
 :-))
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Tug Hercules Fireman on October 22, 2016, 10:20:46 PM
  ... 
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on October 23, 2016, 05:04:15 PM
Thinking about it, I suppose a true pirate would get through a  few wooden legs in his time as the ends wore out.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: warspite on October 23, 2016, 05:23:05 PM
yep he would need to, to stop him going round in circles
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 23, 2016, 06:18:32 PM
 %)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on October 23, 2016, 08:01:11 PM
I need a course of Ronseal and an injection of 'Start you b.a.s.t.a.r.d' to flush the little buggers out.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Tug Hercules Fireman on October 23, 2016, 08:50:34 PM
.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 24, 2016, 12:02:41 PM
.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on October 24, 2016, 11:13:42 PM
If the bloke gets caught in that cutout then does that count as a fail and he can go back aboard ship?
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 25, 2016, 11:38:32 AM
If the bloke gets caught in that cutout then does that count as a fail and he can go back aboard ship?

Not if his bulk gets caught in the cut-out!

This one is very clever!>>>>>>>>>>>>>  {-) {-)


Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on October 26, 2016, 12:00:09 AM
He mistook Parrot for a Carrot! Mind you it might help him see a rich treasure ship in the dark? Like an organic Night vision device?
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 26, 2016, 12:23:09 PM
 {-)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on October 26, 2016, 11:13:51 PM
I love the penguins! You have to look closely to see the gist of the humour. I like more subtle cartoons!!!!!

Excellent find Cap'n RRRRRR!
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Tug Hercules Fireman on October 26, 2016, 11:52:01 PM
  ... 
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 27, 2016, 07:27:08 PM
Here's more subtle!  ok2
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 27, 2016, 07:41:04 PM
For the little-'uns, Black Mary sets sail tomorrow! Arrrr! :-))
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on October 27, 2016, 10:54:09 PM
AVAST YE Jack! Load the pipe weld shell and dissolve the enemy ship! Cap'n, the cannon is gummed up.

Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 28, 2016, 08:03:03 PM
 <:(
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Tug Hercules Fireman on October 28, 2016, 10:23:24 PM
  ... 
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on October 28, 2016, 10:47:31 PM
AVAST YE! PUT THAT FIRE OUT!!!!! YER DAMP SWAB, A NAKED FLAME COULD BURN MY SHIP TO THE WATERLINE. YER MANGY DOLT!
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 29, 2016, 04:21:03 PM
Hic! %%
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on October 29, 2016, 08:58:24 PM
Make mine a pint of AdvocARRRRGH missy and make it sharpish. 'I'll put angestura in it then zur'.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 30, 2016, 12:39:12 PM
 :-))
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on October 30, 2016, 06:48:43 PM
Don't get bitten by the Loan Sharks ye swab! ARRRRGH, AVAST YE!!!
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on October 31, 2016, 06:55:02 PM
!
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on October 31, 2016, 08:08:59 PM
I think he needs a new leg as well! Good cartoon:O)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on November 01, 2016, 03:21:20 PM
!
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Tug Hercules Fireman on November 01, 2016, 03:52:36 PM
  ... 
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: warspite on November 01, 2016, 09:13:54 PM
ARRR captain Nemo - I see some here are dirty pirating scurvy rotters are pirating some of your previous offerings - make them walk the digital plank.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on November 01, 2016, 10:06:36 PM
Tis good to see them again, like seeing Westward HO! after five years sailing the main fer spanish gold ARRGH!

Keep comin' and we can keep bein daft:O)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on November 02, 2016, 10:32:27 AM
ARRR captain Nemo - I see some here are dirty pirating scurvy rotters are pirating some of your previous offerings - make them walk the digital plank.

Yaaaarrgh! I been watchin' 'im!! Pirates don't like repeatin' themselves so I might let him take a close look at me keel from under me ship - me old mate Long John has plenty o' rope for a-hangin' and a-haulin'!
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on November 02, 2016, 10:33:39 AM
#
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on November 02, 2016, 11:52:43 PM
Avast!  BLACK MARY was spotted off Eastbourne today. No lives were lost and no booty was seized - yet! A few swans were slightly annoyed though.Arrrrrgg!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arxBlXZH11k
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on November 03, 2016, 06:13:21 PM
*****

Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Tug Hercules Fireman on November 03, 2016, 06:29:36 PM
  ... 
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on November 03, 2016, 09:12:06 PM
But he could always find his RRRRRRRRRR!

Your Ship Black Mary is as smart as fresh paint Cap'n, I'll stake my last sovereign on it.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on November 04, 2016, 02:56:35 PM
Still a few to go AAArrrrrrr! :-))
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on November 04, 2016, 09:11:35 PM
Ye should ave saved that'n fer Christmas Cap'n. Keep yer powder dry Avast ye!
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on November 05, 2016, 01:02:19 PM
 :-)) AYE!   Or should it be the Aye-Aye phone?
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: warspite on November 05, 2016, 01:20:16 PM
As you 'LEGO' of the black Mary she speed off like she had seen the RN, wow what speed and with no sail, what she got, feet like a swan and paddles like fury underwater  {-)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on November 05, 2016, 04:43:41 PM
 {-) You noticed!  My Pirate Queen, Black Mary,  who skippers this fine vessel is a very sly pirate indeed. Far ahead of her time, she invented the steam engine which she keeps disguised and out of sight below. When spotted by some poor merchantman, he will make haste to get away from BM, but to no avail as she piles on the coal and catches up with him in no time. You could say she was the first 'Q'-ship!  O0   No flies on our Mary! :-))

*BTW, no LEGO was used in the crew of BM!  <*<
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: warspite on November 05, 2016, 05:06:55 PM
Aye - well being a scurvy dog meself - I had to insult you didn I, yo ho ho and bottle of milkshake {-)
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: ballastanksian on November 05, 2016, 08:26:53 PM
Now I was a LEGO fan as a child but appreciate the play value of Playmobil. They make a new pirate ship every few years IIRC, so you could have a Pirate fleet Cap'n.
Title: Re: Pirate Jokes!
Post by: Nemo on November 05, 2016, 08:48:21 PM
The Black Mary's scurvy mutineers jumped ship from HMS Playmobil in my attic arrrr! Royal Navy be searchin' for them now off the River Plate where they were headin' after Eastbourne. They like a bit o' sun them do, arrrrrrrrr.