I've got 2 cats.
So I bought a large bag of Whiskas Biscuits at Coles and was standing in line at the Check-out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a cat.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Meaty Bites Diet again, although I probably
Shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 25 kgs before I woke in
An intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants
Pockets with Meaty Bites and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is
Nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story,
Particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned
By the food.
I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the middle of the road licking my self clean and a car hit
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out
Stupid b*tch...why else would I buy cat food??