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Author Topic: Jokes & Humour - 2016  (Read 256787 times)

Martin (Admin)

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 5
« Reply #350 on: December 25, 2015, 10:29:22 pm »
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radiojoe

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 5
« Reply #351 on: December 25, 2015, 11:13:42 pm »
Yes SWMBO an me like that too, and have you noticed the some of the funny signs they pass along the road, like the one out side a pub that reads, "Buy one meal for the price of two and get a second meal free" {-)  you've got to be quick to see them or use rewind, Peter and Sian are so natural together.  :-))
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Martin (Admin)

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 5
« Reply #352 on: December 25, 2015, 11:34:52 pm »
 
.... and the great adverts on the radio!

'My name's Shirley, and I lost 3st with Weight Stoppers.
'I was always big growing up, I got all the names.
Chunky Monkey, Fatty Bumbum, Sausage Fingers' Blobface.
It wasn't easy.
But then I heard about Weight Stoppers.
'The menus are great.
I can have all my favourite food, 'as long as I cut out anything that makes me fat.
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warspite

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 5
« Reply #353 on: December 26, 2015, 09:27:34 pm »
In car share, we spent most of the time recognising where they were, either the A6 through Little Hulton and Walkden or the A666 through from Irlam of the Heights through to Bolton up to Horwich.

So we missed most of the dialogue.
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boneash

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 5
« Reply #354 on: December 26, 2015, 10:53:16 pm »
The one of particular rib pain was the "Dogging" one, so well done !!!
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radiojoe

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 5
« Reply #355 on: December 27, 2015, 07:23:09 am »
Agreed, we did have a laugh at that, and still do every time we take the dog for a walk. {-)
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Nemo

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 5
« Reply #356 on: December 27, 2015, 01:50:37 pm »
What is 'Dogging'?
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tigertiger

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 5
« Reply #357 on: December 27, 2015, 02:27:29 pm »
Don't go there.  :police:
Google it.
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Martin (Admin)

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 5
« Reply #358 on: December 27, 2015, 03:21:10 pm »
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merseyferry

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 5
« Reply #359 on: December 27, 2015, 03:26:33 pm »
nooooooooooo dont google {-) {-) {-) {-) :police: :police: :o  it
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inertia

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 5
« Reply #360 on: December 27, 2015, 04:41:45 pm »
Goodness gracious! Do people really do that?? In public???? Dreadful...

Anyroad up, this bogger is speshleh fer Nemo wi' luv frum Nottingum. https://www.facebook.com/dukkidesign/videos/750181035113094/

'Appy Chrissmus, me duck!

DM
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Netleyned

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 5
« Reply #361 on: December 27, 2015, 04:46:56 pm »
Very clever  :-)) :-)) :-))


Ned
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Nemo

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 5
« Reply #362 on: December 27, 2015, 07:12:23 pm »
Quote from: Inertia on December 27, 2015, 04:41:45 pm
Goodness gracious! Do people really do that?? In public???? Dreadful...
Anyroad up, this bogger is speshleh fer Nemo wi' luv frum Nottingum. https://www.facebook.com/dukkidesign/videos/750181035113094/
'Appy Chrissmus, me duck!DM



Goodness gracious! Do people really talk like that?? In public???? Dreadful...

Seasons Greetings Donald me old waterfowl and thanks for that belly-laugh, although I had to watch it 6 times before I got it! *I did know what 'snap-tins' are for, being an ex-squaddie!  Very good.

To reciprocate (try saying that when you have had a few black and tans!) may I express the same tune in the style of my home city of Glasgow and do hope you will all join in - Aye - you too Duncan!.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2dCMDNqE5Y

Some further assistance may be gained here - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfCk_yNuTGk

If you are driving home tonight, don't forget - 'Layaffrabevvies'   O0

Now why have I never visited Nottingum?  :-))
Boab.

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Nemo

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 5
« Reply #363 on: January 03, 2016, 07:05:28 pm »
 ;)
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inertia

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 5
« Reply #364 on: January 03, 2016, 07:45:38 pm »
Now why have I never visited Nottingum?

Probably for the same reasons I've never visited Glasgae. The dialect is incomprehensible; the diet is inedible and if you stop at traffic lights the b*ggers'll have your car up on bricks in five seconds flat.......or so I have been told  %)

DM
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Nemo

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 5
« Reply #365 on: January 04, 2016, 08:22:48 pm »
Life is all about perspectives: The lobsters in the kitchen of the Titanic must have thought it was a miracle.  O0
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Nemo

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 5
« Reply #366 on: January 06, 2016, 08:19:48 pm »
 %)
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Nemo

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 5
« Reply #367 on: January 20, 2016, 10:51:57 pm »
 :-)
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Arrow5

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 5
« Reply #368 on: January 21, 2016, 09:42:32 am »
That is the very opposite of the situation at Cove Harbour where the landlord, Pralhad Kolhe  a plastic surgeon, wants the fishing boats removed , a traditional landing place that has been used for 300 years.  Piles of stones and gravel have been placed to obstruct access by the newcomer to prevent fishermen getting to their boats. There is a petition against this act . Google the story.>>:-( <*<
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FsASTSyd1

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 5
« Reply #369 on: January 21, 2016, 01:23:11 pm »
Hi Arrow5, can understand your frustration over Cove harbour. Seems to be another one of those strange quirks of our combined nations, where something that has been used, in this case for hundreds of years by many people, all of a sudden is sold (By who) off to a private buyer who wants nothing to do with the original use. Very strange but no doubt many of us have seen similar happenings.
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Nemo

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 5
« Reply #370 on: January 21, 2016, 02:07:46 pm »
Nothing funny there!  %)
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Arrow5

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 5
« Reply #371 on: January 21, 2016, 03:05:02 pm »
Agreed Nemo :((    Syd, how about ancient rights, habit and repute, rights of way etc etc. The law of trespass is very different in Scotland,  Right to roam act wont apply because of the commercial nature of the fishers.  Sorry for off topic rant but I couldn't resist >>:-(   Will the Scottish Parliament step in I wonder? 
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warspite

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 5
« Reply #372 on: January 22, 2016, 01:14:53 pm »
Or one ton of fast curing concrete appearing on the new owners doorstep whether that is at his place of residence at cove harbour or his place of residence not associated with his holiday home or at his place of work, just wondered  %)
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Arrow5

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 5
« Reply #373 on: January 22, 2016, 03:00:13 pm »
One ton {:-{  ...naw, more like a Ready-Mix truck-load down his house drains :-))
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Nemo

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 5
« Reply #374 on: January 22, 2016, 04:13:33 pm »

As a result of a near mutiny the overbearing and arrogant captain was forced to see a psychiatrist by order of the commodore.

As soon as the captain became comfortable on the couch, the psychiatrist began the session by asking the captain, "Why don't you start at the beginning?"
The captain said, " Okay. In the beginning, I created heaven and the earth..............
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