Topic: Blonde humour (Read 40986 times)

Nemo · « **Reply #75 on:** September 23, 2016, 08:56:45 pm »

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first American football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents. "Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!'

CGAux26 · « **Reply #76 on:** September 23, 2016, 09:05:10 pm »

These are sorta funny once, but you are repeating things now, Nemo. See RAAArtyGunner's post of 9/16/16 at 0400.

Dave
Joke Police

Nemo · « **Reply #77 on:** September 23, 2016, 09:56:04 pm »

Sigh. Hardly intentional Constable! Unless you want to read and memorise all 74 replies, then its an occupational hazard! Its not the first repeat and won't be the last. Just ignore them, like most of us do.

CGAux26 · « **Reply #78 on:** September 23, 2016, 10:10:21 pm »

No problem, friend. It's called Brain Farts, Senior Moments, Can't Remember Stupid Shxx. I am a leader in the field.

RAAArtyGunner · « **Reply #79 on:** September 24, 2016, 01:29:33 am »

Quote from: Nemo on September 23, 2016, 08:56:45 pm

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first American football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents. "Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!'

No.56

RAAArtyGunner · « **Reply #80 on:** September 24, 2016, 01:32:34 am »

Quote from: Nemo on September 23, 2016, 09:56:04 pm

Sigh. Hardly intentional Constable! Unless you want to read and memorise all 74 replies, then its an occupational hazard! Its not the first repeat and won't be the last. Just ignore them, like most of us do.

Beg to differ as I made sure I didn't repeat the ones already listed which I also have.

Example:
There was this guy who was married to a blonde, and each night he came home with a new blonde joke. One night the wife got mad and decided to show him that she wasn't dumb. She spent the whole next day learning all her states and capitals. That night when he got home he told his joke. She says, "I'm not so dumb. I know all of the states and capitals. Go ahead, quiz me." He thought for a moment and asked, "What is the capital of Massachusetts?" She quickly replied, "M"!

However it is slightly different but the gist is the same

RAAArtyGunner · « **Reply #81 on:** September 24, 2016, 01:38:07 am »

Giving the gals a break,

A blonde man's dog goes missing and he is frantic.
His wife says "Why don't you put an ad in the paper?"
He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.
"What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks.

"Here boy!" he replies.

Nemo · « **Reply #82 on:** September 24, 2016, 02:30:11 pm »

My blonde sister goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She says to the assistant, "May I have 50 Christmas stamps?"
"What denomination?" the man asks.
"Oh no! Has it come to this then?" asks Natalie. "Well okay, give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, and 32 Baptist."

RAAArtyGunner · « **Reply #83 on:** September 25, 2016, 12:04:58 am »

A police officer stops a blonde bloke for speeding and asks if he could see his license.
The blonde bloke replies in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together.
Just yesterday you took away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you.

RAAArtyGunner · « **Reply #84 on:** September 28, 2016, 04:29:09 am »

.
Two blonde men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.
One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"
The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."

RAAArtyGunner · « **Reply #85 on:** September 29, 2016, 09:22:47 am »

A blonde bloke really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang himself in the bathroom.
As he locked the door, he yelled at his wife, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!"
His wife broke into the bathroom and saw her husband with a rope tied on his toe.
The wife said, "I thought you were hanging yourself."
He said, "Yes, I am!"
The wife replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?"

He said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe.

RAAArtyGunner · « **Reply #86 on:** October 01, 2016, 06:29:59 am »

A Blonde goes to a shop to buy curtains.

She says to the salesman,
'I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains.'

The salesman assures her that they have a large selection of pink curtains
He shows her several patterns but the blonde seems to be having a hard time choosing.

Finally she selects a lovely pink floral print.

The salesman then asks what size curtains she needs.

The blonde promptly replies, 'Seventeen inches.'

'Seventeen inches ?' asked the salesman. '

That sounds very small, what room are they for ?

'The blonde says,

'They aren't for a room, they are for my new computer monitor.'

The surprised salesman replies, 'But Miss, computers do not need curtains !'

The blonde says, 'Hellllooooooooo .... mine has Windows..'

derekwarner · « **Reply #87 on:** October 01, 2016, 07:14:22 am »

In years gone by, blond haired fair skinned people were considered by a World Leader as the 'Aryan race' who had a duty to control the world

Could this perverse content we see tabled here as 'blonde humour' have deep rooted origins?

Could the originators of these threads now be balding persons

who were born with fair blonde skin & hair?

So from this, I must ask ....'are the members supporting this continuing thread supporters of Mr Shicklegrover?

Derek

rnli12 · « **Reply #88 on:** October 01, 2016, 07:58:27 am »

Hi,

I think the diversity and opinions expressed in the respective freedom of this forum are most welcome, but also appreciate the tolerance of some maybe limited in some areas. Being from Cornwall I've been tolerant of humour with Pasties, borders, Cream and Pixies and if you don't like the thread don't open it!

For the goodness of the forum its for all.

Bring it on!

nivapilot · « **Reply #89 on:** October 01, 2016, 08:10:33 am »

"So from this, I must ask ....'are the members supporting this continuing thread supporters of Mr Shicklegrover?

Derek"

TOO DAMNED RIGHT WE ARE......................

Shipmate60 · « **Reply #90 on:** October 01, 2016, 10:42:38 am »

What on earth has it got to do with Adolf Hitlers father?

Bob

CGAux26 · « **Reply #91 on:** October 01, 2016, 02:33:41 pm »

Edicate the poor Yank, please. Who is Mr. Shicklegrover?

warspite · « **Reply #92 on:** October 01, 2016, 04:10:10 pm »

go on wiki and read about the man

, quite interesting, just - thought the name was odd shicklegruber

Shipmate60 · « **Reply #93 on:** October 01, 2016, 06:24:45 pm »

Mr. Shicklegrover was the family name which was changed to Hitler.
Adolf Hitlers father.

Bob

RAAArtyGunner · « **Reply #94 on:** October 01, 2016, 10:55:09 pm »

I didn't know that.

So he was a blonde who dyed his hair black

RAAArtyGunner · « **Reply #95 on:** October 02, 2016, 11:26:16 pm »

.

A blonde man spies a letter lying on his doormat.
It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ".
He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.

RAAArtyGunner · « **Reply #96 on:** October 04, 2016, 04:19:41 am »

.
A blonde guy finds a sandwich with two wires stickin out of it.

He phones the police and says “Blimey I've just found a sandwich that looks like a bomb."

The operator asks, "is it tickin?

The blonde bloke says "No, I think it's beef"

RAAArtyGunner · « **Reply #97 on:** October 06, 2016, 04:16:46 am »

A coach load of Blonde guys on a mystery tour decided to run a

sweepstake to guess where they were going.....

the driver won £52!

RAAArtyGunner · « **Reply #98 on:** October 08, 2016, 12:26:17 pm »

Three blokes, a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert.

They found a lamp and rubbed it.

A genie popped out and granted them each one wish.

The redhead wished to be back home.

Poof!

He was back home.

The brunette wished to be at home with his family.

Poof!

He was back home with his family.

The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

RAAArtyGunner · « **Reply #99 on:** October 09, 2016, 06:12:06 am »

A husband and wife were driving through Louisiana.
As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town.
They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch.
At the counter, the husband asked the blonde waitress, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us?
Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?"

She leaned over the counter and said, "Burrr-gerrr Kiiing."

News:

Author Topic: Blonde humour (Read 40986 times)