Model Boat Mayhem

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Author Topic: ATM  (Read 1948 times)

RAAArtyGunner

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ATM
« on: December 12, 2016, 09:13:08 pm »

MALE    V    FEMALE      AT THE ATM



A new sign in the Bank reads:

'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.



Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.



After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed.

Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender'

*******************************

MALE PROCEDURE:



1... Drive up to the ATM.

2. LOWER your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Raise window..

7. Drive off..

************************* ******

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

(Unfortunately, most of this is the Truth.!!)



1. Drive up to ATM machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

3. Put hand brake on, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on mobile phone you will call them back and hang up.

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN ...

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in cheque book and place receipt in back of it.

18. Re-check makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to ATM machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you..

24. Restart stalled engine and drive off.

25. Redial person on mobile phone.

26. Drive for 2 to 3 kilometres.

27. Release Hand Brake.



SEND THIS TO A MAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE LADIES YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT..............
 
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Gunna build those other boats one day.

Netleyned

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Re: ATM
« Reply #1 on: December 12, 2016, 09:29:04 pm »

23 days must be one of the fastest
repeats :-)) :P


Ned
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Smooth seas never made skilful sailors
Up Spirits  Stand fast the Holy Ghost.
http://www.cleethorpesmba.co.uk/

Stavros

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Re: ATM
« Reply #2 on: December 12, 2016, 09:35:25 pm »

DARE I send it to Mrs Stav.......methinks NOT






Dave
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NFMike

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Re: ATM
« Reply #3 on: December 12, 2016, 10:43:03 pm »

23 days must be one of the fastest
repeats :-)) :P


Ned

Yes, even my memory isn't that bad yet  :embarrassed:

RAAArtyGunner

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Re: ATM
« Reply #4 on: December 12, 2016, 11:34:46 pm »

No flies on us  %) %) %)

 :o :o :o No cash machines here they are ATM's

Must be translation issue, just proves women are the same the world over O0 O0 O0
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Gunna build those other boats one day.

RAAArtyGunner

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Re: ATM/Wedding Cake
« Reply #5 on: December 12, 2016, 11:42:47 pm »


A doctor was addressing a large audience in Sydney .

'The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.

Red meat is awful.

 Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining.

Chinese food is loaded with MSG.

High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.

However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten, or will eat it.

Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?'



After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, 


"Wedding Cake".
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Gunna build those other boats one day.

dougal99

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Re: ATM
« Reply #6 on: December 13, 2016, 08:44:27 am »



Must be translation issue, just proves women are the same the world over O0 O0 O0


It probably says more about men the world over.  >>:-(
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