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Author Topic: Jokes & Humour - 2017  (Read 11116 times)

Nemo

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Jokes & Humour - 2017
« on: January 05, 2017, 10:06:52 pm »

 O0
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Martin (Admin)

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2017
« Reply #1 on: January 05, 2017, 10:23:47 pm »

 
       {-) {-) {-)
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Landlocked

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2017
« Reply #2 on: January 06, 2017, 03:02:49 am »

Shouldn't it be


"Sorry, it's your ninth case of curiosity"?


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Nemo

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2017
« Reply #3 on: January 06, 2017, 10:41:12 am »

No - that is another cat myth!  {-)

Like ........................
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Martin (Admin)

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2017
« Reply #4 on: June 09, 2017, 10:07:46 am »


No Politics on Mayhem, that dem rulzs ..... but I found this very funny!


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/06/09/lord-buckethead/














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Nemo

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Redneck garage sale!
« Reply #5 on: June 16, 2017, 04:27:30 pm »

 %)
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Martin (Admin)

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Re: Redneck garage sale!
« Reply #6 on: June 16, 2017, 04:41:15 pm »

 
                  {-)    {-)
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Colin Bishop

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2017
« Reply #7 on: June 16, 2017, 08:38:58 pm »

Only free? I counted nine.

Colin
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Nemo

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2017
« Reply #8 on: June 17, 2017, 10:57:47 am »

Yeehaaa!
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Nemo

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2017
« Reply #9 on: June 21, 2017, 07:33:25 pm »

 ;)
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Martin (Admin)

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2017
« Reply #10 on: June 26, 2017, 08:38:38 pm »

 
 
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Nemo

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2017
« Reply #11 on: June 28, 2017, 10:22:44 am »

 {-)
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Martin (Admin)

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2017
« Reply #12 on: June 30, 2017, 10:13:47 pm »


BBC:
Student travels from Newcastle to London via Menorca to save cash
                          http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-40457453

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Nemo

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2017
« Reply #13 on: July 22, 2017, 08:10:09 pm »

 ;)
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Nemo

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2017
« Reply #14 on: July 22, 2017, 08:12:41 pm »

 {-)
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tugmad

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2017
« Reply #15 on: July 22, 2017, 08:44:57 pm »

Welcome back Nemo.👍👍👍👍
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Nemo

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2017
« Reply #16 on: July 23, 2017, 03:39:05 pm »

Welcome back Nemo.👍👍👍👍
Cheers,' tis good to be back. :-))

Photo #1 - NORDKAP.

Photo #2 - NERDCAP!



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Nemo

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2017
« Reply #17 on: July 23, 2017, 03:45:17 pm »

 :}
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ballastanksian

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2017
« Reply #18 on: July 23, 2017, 05:47:36 pm »

I take it those Bulls are stood next to a 'Moo-torway'?
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jaymac

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2017
« Reply #19 on: July 23, 2017, 07:28:37 pm »

I take it those Bulls are stood next to a 'Moo-torway'?


Them are Udders dangling  you need to go to specsavers :}
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Nemo

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2017
« Reply #20 on: July 24, 2017, 07:41:39 pm »

Global Position by Sailing? :-))
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Nemo

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2017
« Reply #21 on: July 29, 2017, 08:18:27 pm »

Eighteen Reasons why building and/or sailing mode boats is is better than "Conjugal Relations"

18. You don't have to sneak your Model Boat magazines into the house
.
17. If you are having trouble with building and/or sailing, it's perfectly acceptable to pay a professional to show you how to improve your technique.

16. The Ten Commandments don't say anything about model boats.

15. If your partner takes pictures or video of you sailing your models, you don't have to worry about them showing up on the Internet when you become famous.

14. Your sailing partner won't keep asking questions about other partners you've sailed with.

13. It's perfectly respectable to sail with a total stranger.

12. When you see a really good sailor/builder, you don't have to feel guilty about imagining the two of you sailing or building together.

11. If your regular sailing partner isn't available, he/she won't object if you go sailing with someone else.

10. Nobody will ever tell you that you can go blind if you sail by yourself.

9. When dealing with a sailing pro, you never have to wonder if they are really an undercover cop.

8. You don't have to go to a sleazy shop in a seedy neighbourhood to buy sailing stuff.

7. You can have a sailing calendar on your wall at the office, tell sailing jokes and invite co-workers to sailing with you without getting sued for harassment.

6. There's no such thing as a sailing/building transmitted disease.

5. If you want to watch sailing on television, you don't have to subscribe to a premium cable channel.

4. Nobody expects you to promise to sail with just one partner for the rest of your life.

3. Nobody expects you to give up sailing if your partner loses interest in the sport.

2. You don't have to be a newlywed to plan a vacation primarily for the enjoyment of sailing.

1. Your sailing partner will never say, "What? We just sailed last week! Is that all you ever think about?
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Bob K

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2017
« Reply #22 on: July 29, 2017, 08:55:17 pm »

Yep !  Nemo is definitely back.   Welcome Home  {-)
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Martin (Admin)

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2017
« Reply #23 on: August 01, 2017, 01:44:40 pm »

 
An oldie.....

 GUTS or Balls  BRAVADO  !


There is a medical distinction. We've all heard about people having guts or bravado, but do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are listed below:

GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask:  "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

BRAVADO  - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of beer and perfume, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the bum and having the balls to say:   "You're next fatty!"

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.

Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome, since both will ultimately result in a dramatically shortened lifespan.


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Martin (Admin)

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2017
« Reply #24 on: November 06, 2017, 09:08:08 am »


Announcement at the National Yodelling competition.

"Would the contestants for round one, please form an Orderlyordlyorldy QueueHooHooHooooo."
   
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