Model Boat Mayhem - Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length.
Pages: 1 [2] 3   Go Down

Author Topic: Jokes & Humour - 2018  (Read 5201 times)

warspite

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,381
Re: Jokes & Humour - 2018
« Reply #25 on: May 24, 2018, 08:10:46 PM »

He means the little black square with a white cross in it when the picture fails to load. 3 pictures of a nut bar therefore 3 squares
Logged
Operational vessels - 1/72 LCMIII, 1/180 Royal Soveriegn
Non Operational - 1/72 Corvette, 1/72 E-Boat, 1/72 vosper mtb
incomplete, tug, cardboard castle class, got the new job

Martin [Admin]

  • Administrator
  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 17,919
  • Location: Peterborough, UK
    • Model Boat Mayhem
Re: Jokes & Humour - 2018
« Reply #26 on: May 24, 2018, 10:02:28 PM »


Ah.... browser issue
Logged
"This is my firm opinion, but what do I know?!"    -   Mayhem FaceBook Group!

RAAArtyGunner

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,855
  • Location: Brisbane, Australia
Re: Jokes & Humour - 2018
« Reply #27 on: May 25, 2018, 05:43:51 AM »

Must have been can see the husks now O0 O0
Logged
Gunna build those other boats one day.

Martin [Admin]

  • Administrator
  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 17,919
  • Location: Peterborough, UK
    • Model Boat Mayhem
Re: Jokes & Humour - 2018
« Reply #28 on: June 15, 2018, 01:49:00 PM »


Heard a good one today:




Husband: My wife caught me cheating, she found some letters I had carefully hidden.


Wife:    'I'm never playing Scrabble with you ever again!'


 


Logged
"This is my firm opinion, but what do I know?!"    -   Mayhem FaceBook Group!

Baldrick

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 458
  • Model Boat Mayhem is Great!
  • Location: Sudergeona (Perfideous Albion)
Re: Jokes & Humour - 2018
« Reply #29 on: July 08, 2018, 10:44:07 AM »

off the BBC web.


Logged
The early bird catches the worm.
But it is the second mouse that gets the cheese.

derekwarner_decoy

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 7,565
  • Location: Wollongong Australia
Re: Jokes & Humour - 2018
« Reply #30 on: July 08, 2018, 01:17:44 PM »

Sorry...who is Gareth?....or am I on the wrong page?
Logged
Derek Warner

Honorary Secretary [Retired]
Illawarra Live Steamers Co-op
Australia
www.ils.org.au

Baldrick

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 458
  • Model Boat Mayhem is Great!
  • Location: Sudergeona (Perfideous Albion)
Re: Jokes & Humour - 2018
« Reply #31 on: July 08, 2018, 02:06:44 PM »

No, Just in the wrong country.
Logged
The early bird catches the worm.
But it is the second mouse that gets the cheese.

warspite

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,381
Re: Jokes & Humour - 2018
« Reply #32 on: July 08, 2018, 04:26:07 PM »

Not a fan of it my self - but can put together most of the stuff with reasonable ease ------ oh you mean the football manager - bit premature don't you think (don't like the sport to be honest)  {-)
Logged
Operational vessels - 1/72 LCMIII, 1/180 Royal Soveriegn
Non Operational - 1/72 Corvette, 1/72 E-Boat, 1/72 vosper mtb
incomplete, tug, cardboard castle class, got the new job

Martin [Admin]

  • Administrator
  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 17,919
  • Location: Peterborough, UK
    • Model Boat Mayhem
Re: Jokes & Humour - 2018
« Reply #33 on: July 13, 2018, 05:57:04 PM »


I bought a can of fly spay today, to if it's any goo.
 It's not. I spayed the entire can on myself but I still can't fly. 
    {-)
Logged
"This is my firm opinion, but what do I know?!"    -   Mayhem FaceBook Group!

roycv

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,003
  • Location: S.W. Herts
Re: Jokes & Humour - 2018
« Reply #34 on: July 13, 2018, 08:41:01 PM »

You want to get your 'R's in gear.Roy
Logged

Baldrick

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 458
  • Model Boat Mayhem is Great!
  • Location: Sudergeona (Perfideous Albion)
Re: Jokes & Humour - 2018
« Reply #35 on: July 14, 2018, 02:53:13 PM »


I bought a can of fly spay today, to if it's any goo.
 It's not. I spayed the entire can on myself but I still can't fly.
   



Bloke here in Denia  sprayed two complete cans of  spray around his bedroom  then lit a cigarette , found he could fly ! at least as far as the apartment car park.


 
Logged
The early bird catches the worm.
But it is the second mouse that gets the cheese.

Martin [Admin]

  • Administrator
  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 17,919
  • Location: Peterborough, UK
    • Model Boat Mayhem
Re: Jokes & Humour - 2018
« Reply #36 on: July 14, 2018, 05:19:27 PM »

 
              {-) {-)
Logged
"This is my firm opinion, but what do I know?!"    -   Mayhem FaceBook Group!

Martin [Admin]

  • Administrator
  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 17,919
  • Location: Peterborough, UK
    • Model Boat Mayhem
Re: Jokes & Humour - 2018
« Reply #37 on: July 17, 2018, 07:35:18 PM »

Logged
"This is my firm opinion, but what do I know?!"    -   Mayhem FaceBook Group!

Martin [Admin]

  • Administrator
  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 17,919
  • Location: Peterborough, UK
    • Model Boat Mayhem
Re: Jokes & Humour - 2018
« Reply #38 on: July 17, 2018, 07:45:49 PM »



Logged
"This is my firm opinion, but what do I know?!"    -   Mayhem FaceBook Group!

Martin [Admin]

  • Administrator
  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 17,919
  • Location: Peterborough, UK
    • Model Boat Mayhem
Re: Jokes & Humour - 2018
« Reply #39 on: July 17, 2018, 07:46:10 PM »


Logged
"This is my firm opinion, but what do I know?!"    -   Mayhem FaceBook Group!

Martin [Admin]

  • Administrator
  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 17,919
  • Location: Peterborough, UK
    • Model Boat Mayhem
Re: Jokes & Humour - 2018
« Reply #40 on: July 17, 2018, 07:46:18 PM »



Logged
"This is my firm opinion, but what do I know?!"    -   Mayhem FaceBook Group!

birlinn

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 91
  • Old git in a garage
  • Location: Tobermory, Isle of Mull
Re: Jokes & Humour - 2018
« Reply #41 on: July 29, 2018, 09:05:07 PM »

My aged father had a fall today, whilst mucking out the stable- he's in the hospice now.
Logged

Martin [Admin]

  • Administrator
  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 17,919
  • Location: Peterborough, UK
    • Model Boat Mayhem
Re: Jokes & Humour - 2018
« Reply #42 on: July 29, 2018, 09:30:33 PM »


Had to read that three times....  {-) {-) {-)
Logged
"This is my firm opinion, but what do I know?!"    -   Mayhem FaceBook Group!

dougal99

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,808
  • Huntingdon, Cambs, England
  • Location: Huntingdon, England
Re: Jokes & Humour - 2018
« Reply #43 on: July 29, 2018, 10:06:40 PM »

Someone is taking the proverbial  :police:
Logged
Don't Assume Check

tigertiger

  • Global Moderator
  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 6,605
  • Location: Kunming, city of eternal springtime, SW China.
Re: Jokes & Humour - 2018
« Reply #44 on: July 30, 2018, 03:27:06 AM »

Auspicious  ;)
Logged
The only stupid question is the one I didn't ask

Martin [Admin]

  • Administrator
  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 17,919
  • Location: Peterborough, UK
    • Model Boat Mayhem
Re: Jokes & Humour - 2018
« Reply #45 on: August 02, 2018, 09:41:07 PM »

Logged
"This is my firm opinion, but what do I know?!"    -   Mayhem FaceBook Group!

Martin [Admin]

  • Administrator
  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 17,919
  • Location: Peterborough, UK
    • Model Boat Mayhem
Re: Jokes & Humour - 2018
« Reply #46 on: September 19, 2018, 11:16:26 AM »


I saw some frightening behaviour  on the beach the other day.

I was on the seaside and saw a man and a woman having an almighty argument in front of loads of kids.
Suddenly the woman smacked the guy in the head and it all kicked off.
There was a massive brawl and someone called the police.
This poor copper turned up on his own and took his truncheon to the man.
The bloke managed to snatch it off the policeman and actually attacked the copper AND his wife!


Then out of nowhere a crocodile crept in  and stole all the sausages!
 
 
 
Logged
"This is my firm opinion, but what do I know?!"    -   Mayhem FaceBook Group!

jaymac

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,056
  • Location: Somerset
Re: Jokes & Humour - 2018
« Reply #47 on: September 19, 2018, 01:03:13 PM »



Then out of nowhere a crocodile crept in  and stole all the sausages!
 
 


Is that what they mean by the Punch Line ?
Logged

Martin [Admin]

  • Administrator
  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 17,919
  • Location: Peterborough, UK
    • Model Boat Mayhem
Re: Jokes & Humour - 2018
« Reply #48 on: September 19, 2018, 01:51:44 PM »


OK, how about....


I was raised by a pack of Hyenas as a child.
It was a hard life, always hunting and being shot at.
 
But boy, did we laugh.

Logged
"This is my firm opinion, but what do I know?!"    -   Mayhem FaceBook Group!

Martin [Admin]

  • Administrator
  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 17,919
  • Location: Peterborough, UK
    • Model Boat Mayhem
Re: Jokes & Humour - 2018
« Reply #49 on: September 19, 2018, 02:22:41 PM »


If 1+1 makes 2
2x2 makes 4
3x3 makes 9

So how comes 0x0 makes gravy ?

Logged
"This is my firm opinion, but what do I know?!"    -   Mayhem FaceBook Group!
Pages: 1 [2] 3   Go Up