Found on adult joke list Buffalos jokes owned by William Brabant
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
A sea story from my Marine buddy Gerald,
The Navy used to require officers to foot their total moving
expenses out of pocket and file for reimbursement at their new duty
station and they might be reimbursed several months later. In
August of 1870, LCDR J. P. Fyffe had orders to be CO of a frigate
out of San Francisco. His current duty station was in New London,
Connecticut. He did not think it right that his moving expenses
should be out of pocket.
The following is what happened. LCDR Fyffe sent a message to the
Secretary of the Navy requesting that the Navy either lay out the
money or supply him with railroad tickets or transportation via
naval vessel.
The reply came from the Chief of Bureau of Navigation:
To: Lieutenant Commander J. P. Fyffe In reply to your letter of the
18th: Your request is contrary to Navy regulations. Carry out your
orders.
The orders also stated: While carrying out these orders, you will
keep the Bureau informed of your whereabouts. There was nothing
which stated when he was supposed to arrive in San Francisco or by
what means.
LCDR Fyffe donned his best uniform and strapped his sword to his
small travel kit. At sunrise on the 25th, he walked out of New
London and headed westward for San Francisco. By sundown he reached
East Haddam where he sent the following telegram to the Chief:
25 August - Compliance orders number 1998. LCDR Fyffe en route New
London to San Francisco on foot. This telegram to keep Bureau
informed my whereabouts. Made good 22 miles this date. Spending
evening in hayloft in Mount Parnassus. Very respectfully, Fyffe.
Every evening for the next few days he sent a telegram.
26 August - En route on foot. Made good 31 miles this date. By
gracious consent, Mayor of Bristol, am spending night Mayor's
stables. Have noticed he has hybrid mules specially bred for
tropics. Suggest Navy investigate.
27 August - En route on foot. Made good only 1 1/2 miles this date.
Rained all day. Staying overnight at Litchfield with my father's
friend, General Holmes. I find standard boot worn by naval officer
inadequate for prolonged walking. Suggest Surgeon General
investigate.
28 August - Spending night Lakeville. Lovely country. Expect to
buy home here as soon as I get reimbursed travel voucher submitted
by me to Navy three years ago. Tomorrow I enter New York State.
29 August - En route on foot. Make 28 miles this date despite badly
worn boots. People not familiar Navy uniforms this area. Great
crowd walked part way with me. I sang them sea chanties. Populace
thinks it a great sign of democracy for commanding officer of his
ship to walk 3000 miles to new station. Police Chief, Hudson, New
York has given me best cell in jail for overnight.
30 August - En route on foot. Arrived Albany. Request Recruiting
Officer be authorized issue me new shoes. Boots fell apart noon
today. Entered Albany barefooted. Will remain Seward Hotel two
days awaiting answer. Earning my keep as bartender. Local rum far
superior that served in Navy. Am sending sample. Very respectfully,
Fyffe.
31 August - Fyffe received the following message:
I strike my colors. Secretary of the Navy authorized Recruiting
Officer, Albany issue you boots and provide quickest transportation
from Albany to San Francisco. Even Chief of Bureau Navigation can
laugh when outsmarted!
buffalo says I was fortunate that the Navy always had money in my
hands for tickets etc. prior to transfer except when I was being
sent home from Hawaii for discharge. My orders said Treasure Island
and I had no desire to spend a couple of weeks sitting up in
Northern Calif. I had no trouble getting the orders changed to San
Diego but the Navy didn't want to pay airfare from LAX to San Diego
which is a lot shorter than San Francisco so there I was all checked
out of my division waiting for the ship to tie up and no money to
pay for a 79.00 ticket home. I had thousands in the bank but no
checkbook with me, it was with Sandy. I begged and pleaded and got
an advance in pay big enough to
cover my air and cab fare home and a couple of meals while
I was sitting in Hawaii. I was lucky and had friends living there so
I had
a great three days waiting for my flight.
