Model Boat Mayhem

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length.
Pages: [1]   Go Down

Author Topic: Scousers join Ferrari Team  (Read 5115 times)

jaymac

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,241
  • Location: Somerset
Scousers join Ferrari Team
« on: June 26, 2014, 03:27:19 pm »

 SCOUSERS JOIN FERRARI 
"The Ferrari F1 team fired their entire pit crew yesterday."

This announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the British government's 'Work for your Dole' scheme and employ some Liverpudlian youngsters.
 
The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Toxteth were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with millions of pounds worth of high tech  equipment.

It was thought to be an excellent, bold move by the Ferrari management team as most races are won and lost in the pits, giving Ferrari an advantage over every other team.

However, Ferrari got more than they bargained for.   At the crew's first practice session, not only was the scouse pit crew able to change all four wheels in under 6 seconds but, within 12 seconds, they had re-sprayed, re-badged and sold the car to the Mclaren team for 8 cases of Stella, a bag of weed and some photos of Lewis Hamilton's bird in the shower.       

Logged

Netleyned

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 9,055
  • Location: Meridian Line, Mouth of the Humber
    • cleethorpes mba
Re: Scousers join Ferrari Team
« Reply #1 on: June 26, 2014, 03:44:03 pm »

Don't think Maclaren would want a Ferrari at this point in the season {-) {-)


Ned
Logged
Smooth seas never made skilful sailors
Up Spirits  Stand fast the Holy Ghost.
http://www.cleethorpesmba.co.uk/

Robert Davies

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 83
  • Location: People's Republic of Wrexham
Logged

Netleyned

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 9,055
  • Location: Meridian Line, Mouth of the Humber
    • cleethorpes mba
Re: Scousers join Ferrari Team
« Reply #3 on: June 26, 2014, 04:19:33 pm »

Yeah
Wasn't Mr Alonso involved?

Ned
Logged
Smooth seas never made skilful sailors
Up Spirits  Stand fast the Holy Ghost.
http://www.cleethorpesmba.co.uk/

jaymac

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,241
  • Location: Somerset
Re: Scousers join Ferrari Team
« Reply #4 on: June 26, 2014, 06:54:05 pm »

Well if one has to search the forum first to make sure its not been on before  thats a shame .Better to post an old one than just gripe
Logged

Robert Davies

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 83
  • Location: People's Republic of Wrexham
Re: Scousers join Ferrari Team
« Reply #5 on: June 26, 2014, 09:03:43 pm »


Well, if you get caught out posting the same joke word for word the least you can do is have good grace.
Logged

jaymac

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,241
  • Location: Somerset
Re: Scousers join Ferrari Team
« Reply #6 on: June 26, 2014, 10:48:58 pm »

What do you mean Caught I posted that as  I just received it today as I said   do you expect  everyone to trawl back through the pages to make sure it has not been posted before .It can be difficult enough posting humour suitable for  the Family  censorship  without having Snipers who have    contributed little if anything to this section having a go
Logged

Liverbudgie2

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 108
  • Model Boat Mayhem is Great!
  • Location: Earth.
Re: Scousers join Ferrari Team
« Reply #7 on: June 27, 2014, 12:46:44 am »

So, if I was to refer to you and the populous of your area as cider swilling west country bumpkins would you, Mr jaymac, still find it "suitable humour for the family"?

LB
Logged

derekwarner

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 9,560
  • Location: Wollongong Australia
Re: Scousers join Ferrari Team
« Reply #8 on: June 27, 2014, 01:31:48 am »

 ;) ....goodness LB....I had no idea of the contestations that apply to such a simple word.......

But at least we are stll on track...in the nautical sence.....
A short spar projecting from the deck of a ship
{-)  ....Derek
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

bump·kin 1  (bmpkn, bm-)
n.
 An awkward, unsophisticated person; a yokel.


[Perhaps from Flemish boomken, shrub, diminutive of boom, tree; see bheu- in Indo-European roots or from Middle Dutch bommekijn, diminutive of bomme, barrel.]

Word History:  The term bumpkin may at one time have been directed at an entire people rather than that segment of the population living in a rural area. The first recorded appearance of the word in 1570 is glossed by the Latin word Batavus, "Dutchman," making plausible the suggestion that bumpkin may come from either the Middle Dutch word bommekijn, "little barrel," or the Flemish word boomken, "shrub." The connection would be between a squat object and the short rotund figure of the Dutchman in the popular imagination. Any bumpkin would surely prefer this etymology to the suggestion that bumpkin is a derivative of bum, "the rear end."



bump·kin 2  (bmpkn, bm-)
n.
 A short spar projecting from the deck of a ship, used to extend a sail or secure a block or stay.


[Probably from Dutch boomken, diminutive of boom, tree; see boom2.]


The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2009. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

bumpkin (ˈbʌmpkɪn)
n
1. an awkward simple rustic person (esp in the phrase country bumpkin)

[C16 (perhaps originally applied to Dutchmen): perhaps from Dutch boomken small tree, or from Middle Dutch boomekijn small barrel, alluding to a short or squat person]

Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003

bump•kin  (ˈbʌmp kɪn) 

n. 
an awkward, simple rustic; yokel.

[1560–70; < Middle Dutch bommekijn little barrel =boom beam + -kijn -kin]

Random House Kernerman Webster's College Dictionary, © 2010 K Dictionaries Ltd. Copyright 2005, 1997, 1991 by Random House, Inc. All rights reserved.
Logged
Derek Warner

Honorary Secretary [Retired]
Illawarra Live Steamers Co-op
Australia
www.ils.org.au

Rottweiler

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,160
  • Location: Carharrack Cornwall
Re: Scousers join Ferrari Team
« Reply #9 on: June 27, 2014, 01:31:50 am »

Come on guys Lighten up! it was a joke! an oldie maybe but nothing more than a joke not an insult. no need whatsover for these comments.
Now there was an englishman,an Irishman,a scotsman,and a welshman,
oh sorry that should be an englishperson,an Irishperson, oh thats wrong too
there was a whiteperson of celtic appearance
oh forget it
Mick F
Logged

Tug-Kenny RIP

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 7,625
  • Location: Newport. S Wales
Re: Scousers join Ferrari Team
« Reply #10 on: June 27, 2014, 10:39:44 am »


If you want to go back to the beginning of this thread, (April 2008)  (Tommy Cooper stories) here's my first joke on page 1.  Anyone remember it ?





I was driving up the motorway and my boss phoned me and he told me I'd been promoted.

I was so shocked I swerved the car.

He phoned me again to say I'd been promoted even higher and I swerved again.

He then made me Managing director !   and I went right off into a tree.

The police came and asked me what had happened.

         I said          "I careered off the road".

         {-)       {-)       {-)       {-)


Logged
Despite the high cost of living   .......... It remains popular

Neil

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,924
  • Location: near Fleetwood
Re: Scousers join Ferrari Team
« Reply #11 on: June 27, 2014, 03:51:36 pm »

Well if one has to search the forum first to make sure its not been on before  thats a shame .Better to post an old one than just gripe

jaymacv........the old un's are always the good uns...................and who cares if it were posted 4 years ago or last week.......................

if someone's got time to trawl through four years of jokes just to prove to everyone that it's been posted before ya got time to start making a model and stop b***** moaning at everyone else's posts, lol   >>:-( >>:-( >>:-( <*< <*< <*< <*<

sorry about the grammar and spelling guys...........I'm dyslexic  {:-{ {:-{ {:-{
Logged

Neil

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,924
  • Location: near Fleetwood
Re: Scousers join Ferrari Team
« Reply #12 on: June 27, 2014, 03:54:15 pm »

So, if I was to refer to you and the populous of your area as cider swilling west country bumpkins would you, Mr jaymac, still find it "suitable humour for the family"?

LB

yeh, why not.......and good on them............nowt like a good bit o' scrumpy, a good cheese and Glastonbury to listen to. {-) {-) {-) {-) {-) {-)
Logged

Neil

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,924
  • Location: near Fleetwood
Re: Scousers join Ferrari Team
« Reply #13 on: June 27, 2014, 04:02:28 pm »

c'mon, LB we all know the stories of "mind yer car mister". when going to Anfield or the other one............yah had to pay yer fifty P to the gangs of ferrel kids roamin the street making their weed money (even back in 1970 when I was at uni there).....if ya didn't tip em half a quid they WOULD  nick yer wheels.......................

so the best we can do is make a joke about it.............or we who have experienced that behaviour first hand would cry about it.

only the insecure worry about "sticks and stones", lol

coming from Fleetwood I'm regularly called a "codhead"    does it bother me.................ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! {-) {-) {-) {-)
Logged

jaymac

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,241
  • Location: Somerset
Re: Scousers join Ferrari Team
« Reply #14 on: June 27, 2014, 04:20:49 pm »

  Aye and if asked if you want them to Watch your car while you are away and you say no I got 2 Rottweilers in the back they say Oh Put out fires can they?
Irony is I may live in Somerset dont mean I'm from there  and believe me there are a lot more digs on here at my lot than Scousers . Never bothered me ''Laugh and let Laugh'' is my motto
Logged

Neil

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,924
  • Location: near Fleetwood
Re: Scousers join Ferrari Team
« Reply #15 on: June 27, 2014, 04:33:36 pm »

SO,  my task now is to find the oldest joke in Christendom and let someone search through here see if it's been on before..............

how about this one...................hope it doesn't upset or seriously damage the children's minds on here..........for it's a real shocker.

Why do elephants have big ears.................(sorry this could be quite controversial)


















Cos Noddy wouldn't pay his ransom.   {:-{ {:-{ {:-{ <:( <:( <:( <:( <:(
Logged

dave301bounty

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 664
  • Location: Wavertree
Re: Scousers join Ferrari Team
« Reply #16 on: June 27, 2014, 07:32:23 pm »

So ,who/ever has the cheek to use a joke that has gone into the books ,Scousers are now the most up and coming work force in the U K ,they contribute more in taxes than any other with the car production at Halewood and Ellesmere port ,so you sad person /s. that wise crack backfired on you a long time ago ,could go on and on with all the great things that have happened in 5 years but ,,, O0  O0
Logged

Shipmate60

  • Global Moderator
  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 5,862
  • You bark - I will bite!!!
  • Location: Fareham
Re: Scousers join Ferrari Team
« Reply #17 on: June 27, 2014, 07:53:26 pm »

As a scouser (born on the Everton Brow) I of course find that joke offensive and a slur on all scoucers.
Not got the accent though for those who I have met on here.



We would have had it resprayed in 10 seconds!!!


Bob
Logged
Officially a GOG.

dave301bounty

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 664
  • Location: Wavertree
Re: Scousers join Ferrari Team
« Reply #18 on: June 27, 2014, 08:19:06 pm »

There you are you see ,ALL scousers  O0 //UNITE ,we are RARE . O0
Logged

TheLongBuild

  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 4,849
  • Build em, and play hard..
  • Location: Everywhere, But Nowhere !! But mainly in England....
    • Runcorn & District Scale Model Boats
Re: Scousers join Ferrari Team
« Reply #19 on: June 27, 2014, 08:39:42 pm »

So we can not take the mickey out of Scousers, wooleybacks,  The Irish, The Scots , The welsh any minoritys, any country to be fair, and or any person !!!! What everrrrrrr    %% %%  I work with a few Scousers sorry Liverpudlians and they give as good as they get. 

If you can not laugh at yourself then its a sad place..Get Over it..

Scousers join Ferrari  Team
Great Joke... :-)) :-)) :-))

Martin (Admin)

  • Administrator
  • Full Mayhemer
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 24,006
  • Location: Peterborough, UK
    • Model Boat Mayhem
Re: Scousers join Ferrari Team
« Reply #20 on: June 27, 2014, 08:43:48 pm »

Locked
Logged
"This is my firm opinion, but what do I know?!" -  Visit the Mayhem FaceBook Groups!  &  Giant Models
Pages: [1]   Go Up
 

Page created in 0.676 seconds with 18 queries.