Simon, If you don't open the gas tank outlet valve, albeit very slightly, as the tank fills with liquid the displaced gas has nowhere else to go but back into the disposable tank. This disrupts the flow of liquid into the tank and makes filling very difficult.
I agree with near verything you posted, but, not to be pedantic, this is 100% untrue. The fuel is a condensable gas, and by simple law of physics, the gas in both the bottle as well as the fuel tank are ALWAYS at exactly their poiling/condensing point, where the equilibrium between temperature and pressure is. As long as they both hav th same temperature, they will have the same pressure, and any liquid flowing from one container to the other will cause a bit of vapour to condense into liquid in the receiving container, and a bit of liquid to evaporate in the giving container.
When the disposable bottle is held upside down, and the connection between bottle and tank has been established by means of the filling adapter, the liquid gas will flow down by gravity from bottle to tank. It WILL be slow (I typically see flowrates around 0,5 grammes per second), but it WILL flow.
The ONLY two things that disrupt this process are
A) non-condensable gasses (air) in the fuel tank)
B) the fuel tank being warmer than the bottle (in that case, the pressure in the fuel tank will be higher, and the fuel will not flow).
To fill a fuel tank, all that is needed is that there is no air in the tank, and the tank to be filled being colder than the bottle. To achieve that, first filling (when new) is a short burst of filling with fully open gasvalve blowing off to atmosphere. This will drive out the air, and the liquid gas evaporating will strongly cool down the fuel tank. Close the gas valve and fill the now icy cold tank.
Once the tank is air-free, any subsequent filling can be done by just gravity. The heat from the hand holding the filling bottle is sufficient to keep the flow going (albeit slow, maybe 1 gramme per second) provided you do not hold the fuel tank with a full hand as well.
As for filling grade, a fixed number cannot be given, but personally I keep it below 80% volumetric for reason that overfilling can be seriously dangerous.
A too full tank, combined with movemnt of the model can cause liquid gas entering the fuel line due to sloshing. Since there is no appreciable pressure drop over the fuel line, this fuel will in large part remain liquid until it reaches the burner, and when it does, it will extinguish the flame. Gas will continue to flow out (if a gas attenuator is used, steam pressure will drop opening the fuel supply to full, worsening the problem) and thee boat will fill up with gas.
Attempts to relight the burner can be fairly disasterous.
For the maximum filling level, I fully agree with and STRONGLY recommend the use of a precise scale (a 0-500 grammes scale with an accuracy of 0,01 grammes smaller than a pack of cigarettes can be had for around 10 Euros via most shopping sites like AliExpress or Amazon etc).
Internal volume of the tank is easily estimated by the dimensions taking material thickness into account, density of LPG is 0,51 grammes per cm3 so it is easy to figure out how much your tank can safely hold.
Alternative, unscrew the filling- and gas valves and fill with water to figure out how many mililitres the tank will hold. No rocketscience.