Model Boat Mayhem

Mess Deck: General Section => Humour => Topic started by: nhp651 on February 16, 2012, 12:07:57 am

Title: My census form has been returned???
Post by: nhp651 on February 16, 2012, 12:07:57 am
 

 Can you believe it …. they sent my Census form back

In response to the question:

 "Do you have any dependants?"

 
I replied - "2.1 million illegal immigrants;
 
1.1 million crack heads;
 
1.4 million unemployable people,
 
901 thousand people in over 85 prisons;
 
andnearly 600 idiots in Parliament.
 
Apparently, this was NOT an acceptable answer.
 
  SO!!!,who the hell did I miss??

 

 
Title: Re: My census form has been returned???
Post by: richtea on February 16, 2012, 11:28:56 am
All those extremists that want to change our way of life for their perverted version of religion.
Don't forget that their 'OOMAN RIGHTS come before our right to live the way we want.
Title: Re: My census form has been returned???
Post by: malcolmfrary on February 16, 2012, 11:41:30 am
Quote
SO!!!,who the hell did I miss??
The staff in the census office.
Title: Re: My census form has been returned???
Post by: dodgy geezer on February 16, 2012, 02:11:07 pm
The staff in the census office.

Correct. You might also add:

Civil Service - about 0.5m staff
Armed Forces - about 0.25m staff
Police and other emergency services - about 100,000 staff?
Local Government staff - 2.4m staff
NHS - 1.8m staff

and an unquantified number of hangers-on, QUANGOS, several parts of banks, and around 15% of the EU budget (2009 contribution was £3.8 bn)

</pedant>   %%
Title: Re: My census form has been returned???
Post by: john s 2 on February 16, 2012, 02:26:30 pm
Neil you missed Politicians. John.
Title: Re: My census form has been returned???
Post by: Netleyned on February 16, 2012, 02:43:08 pm
Neil you missed Politicians. John.
[/quote

andnearly 600 idiots in Parliament.


 ;) ;) ;)

Ned
Title: Re: My census form has been returned???
Post by: john s 2 on February 16, 2012, 02:44:29 pm
Whoops did not read correctly. Symptom of old age setting in. John.
Title: Re: My census form has been returned???
Post by: Martin (Admin) on February 16, 2012, 04:04:10 pm
Whoops did not read correctly. Symptom of old age setting in. John.

Too many OAPs?   ok2
Title: Re: My census form has been returned???
Post by: grasshopper on February 16, 2012, 04:10:30 pm
Too many OAPs?   ok2

OOOhhh.....er! might I suggest you DUCK and run for cover Martin....they might be a few bottles of Horlicks and Sanatogen heading your way shortly.
Title: Re: My census form has been returned???
Post by: Norseman on February 16, 2012, 06:48:54 pm
You missed me Neil - I depend on you and a few others for good advice   {-)
.......... and the occasional Kaboom too.

Dave
Title: Re: My census form has been returned???
Post by: Bee on February 18, 2012, 11:59:56 pm
10 million parents who think they should be paid every week because they were too stupid to use a condom.
Title: Re: My census form has been returned???
Post by: nhp651 on February 19, 2012, 09:32:33 am
10 million parents who think they should be paid every week because they were too stupid to use a condom.


I presume from that comment Bee...you don't have the beauty of two daughters reaching puberty and all the joys they bring, all at the same time...... {-) {-) {-) {-) {-) {-) %% %% %% %% %% %% %%
Title: Re: My census form has been returned???
Post by: grasshopper on February 19, 2012, 12:38:11 pm
My son and I have been there.....his two sisters and his mother all had that 'special' time same week out of every four.....surprised we survived!
Title: Re: My census form has been returned???
Post by: Dreadstar on February 20, 2012, 05:13:18 am
At least you got a breather,try having a partner and three daughters,who seem to take it in turns,one after the other...... <:( <*< <*< <*< <*<