Model Boat Mayhem

Mess Deck: General Section => Humour => Topic started by: elmo on January 23, 2008, 05:45:47 pm

Title: The Great British Public!
Post by: elmo on January 23, 2008, 05:45:47 pm
Here is a collection of trivia questions asked by Media personalities,
together with answers given by their quiz show contestants!
 
 
UNIVERSITY  CHALLENGE   (BBC2)
 Jeremy Paxman : What is another  name for 'cherrypickers' and  'cheesemongers'?
 Contestant       :  Homosexuals.
 Paxman            :  No. They're British Army regiments - who will be most upset with you!
 
 
BEG, BORROW OR STEAL  (BBC2)
Jamie Theakston :  Where do you think Cambridge University is?
Contestant        : Geography isn't  my strong point.
Theakston         : There's a clue in the   title.
Contestant        : Leicester.  ::)
 
 
BBC NORFOLK
Stewart White  : Who had a worldwide hit with 'What A Wonderful World'?
Contestant       : I don't    know.
White              : I'll give you some clues: What is between your hand and your elbow?
Contestant       :  Arm.
White              : Correct.  And if you're not weak, you're...?
Contestant       :  Strong.
White              :  Correct - and what  was Lord Mountbatten's first name?
Contestant       :   Louis.
White              : Well, so who had a worldwide hit with the song 'What A Wonderful World'?
Contestant       : Frank Sinatra?  :-\
 
 
LATE SHOW (BBC  MIDLANDS)
Alex Trelinski : What is the capital of Italy?
Contestant   : France.
Trelinski        : But France is another country.Try again.
Contestant   : Oh, um,  Benidorm.
Trelinski       : Wrong, sorry, let's try another question.
Trelinski       : In which country is  the Parthenon?
Contestant  : Sorry, I don't  know.
Trelinski      : Well just guess a country then.
Contestant  : Paris.
 
 
THE WEAKEST LINK    (BBC2)
Anne Robinson : Oscar  Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written
books about their  experiences in what :- Prison, or the Conservative Party?
Contestant      : The Conservative  Party.
 
 
BEACON RADIO (WOLVERHAMPTON)
DJ Mark      : For 10 quid, what is the nationality of the Pope?
Contestant : I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?  :D
 
 
UNIVERSITY  CHALLENGE
Bamber  Gascoigne : What was Gandhi's first name?
Contestant            : Goosey?


GWR FM  (Bristol)
Presenter   : What happened in  Dallas on November 22, 1963?
Contestant : I don't know. I wasn't watching it then.  {-) {-) {-)


RTE RADIO 2FM   (IRELAND)
Presenter   :  What is the name of the long-running TV comedy show
about a group of pensioners :  Last Of The  ...?
Caller         : Mohicans?


PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO   MANCHESTER)
Phil Wood  : What's  11 squared?
Contestant : I don't  know.
Phil Wood  : I'll give you a  clue.  It's two ones with a two in the middle.
Contestant : Is it five?


RICHARD AND JUDY
Q : Which American actor is married  to Nicole Kidman?
A : Forrest Gump.


RICHARD AND JUDY
Leslie           : On which  street did Sherlock Holmes live?
Contestant   : Er . .   .
Leslie           : He makes bread  . .  .
Contestant   : Er . .  ..
Leslie           : He  makes cakes . .  ..
Contestant   : Kipling Street?  :embarrassed:


LINCS FM    PHONE-IN
Presenter    : Which is the  largest Spanish-speaking country in the  world?
Contestant  :  Barcelona.
Presenter    :  I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant  : I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.  :-\


NATIONAL LOTTERY  (BBC1)
Question    : What is the  world's largest continent?
Contestant : The Pacific


ROCK FM  (PRESTON)
Presenter    : Name a  film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a
famous painting by  Leonardo Da Vinci.
Contestant : Who Framed Roger  Rabbit?


THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)
Steve Le Fevre : What was  signed to bring World War I to an end in 1918?
Contestant      : The Magna Carta ? 
 

JAMES  O'BRIEN SHOW  (LBC)
O'Brien      : How many kings  of England have been called  Henry?
Contestant :  Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... so... er... er ... three?   ::)
 

CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC  RADIO BRISTOL)
Searle  : In which  European country is Mount  Etna?
Caller   : Japan.
Searle  : I did say which European country, so in case you didn't
hear that, I can let you try  again.
Caller   : Er ....   Mexico?  :'(


PAUL  WAPPAT (BBC  RADIO  NEWCASTLE)
Paul Wappat : How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
Contestant (after long  pause) : Fourteen days.  :(
 

DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN  RADIO)
Daryl Denham       : In which country  would you spend shekels?
Contestant          : Holland?
Denham              : Try the next  letter  of the alphabet.
Contestant          : Iceland?  Ireland?
Denham (helping) : It's  a bad line. Did you say Israel?
Contestant          : No.  O0
 

PHIL  WOOD SHOW (BBC  GMR)
Wood         : What 'K' could be  described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant  : Er . ..  .
Wood         : It's got two  syllables  . . . Kor .. . .
Contestant  :  Blimey?
Wood         : Ha ha ha ha,  no.   The past participle of run . . .     
Contestant  :   (Silence)
Wood         : OK, try  it another  way. Today I  run, yesterday I . . .
Contestant  : Walked?


THE VAULT
Melanie Sykes : What is the name given to the condition where
the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
Contestant    : Nostalgia.


LUNCHTIME SHOW   (BRMB)
Presenter     :  What religion was Guy Fawkes?
Contestant   :  Jewish.
Presenter     :  That's close enough.


STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC  RADIO 2)
Wright        :   Johnny Weissmuller died on  this day. Which
jungle-swinging character clad only in a loincloth did  he play?
Contestant  :   Lord.

Title: Re: The Great British Public!
Post by: White Ensign on February 04, 2008, 08:01:41 am
Elmo- don`t worry, we have lots of these samples either.
Question at the quiz, for 125000 Euros: Who`s coffin was burried in 1991, 102 years after his death at Sanssouci-Castle in Potsdam/Germany?

Answer (a teacher!): Sanssouci? Oh, that sounds French. Well, must have been one of the French monarchy after the French Revolution. Ludwig the XIV !!!!!

Correct answer: The French Revoltion was about 200 years earlier, Sanssouci-castle is in Potsdam Germany, so no need to burry a French monarch either, not even 1991. It was the Prussian King Friedrich II, whos coffin was kept at Hohenzollern-castle in Suebia until the re-union.

No wonder do the pupils just learn rubbish in school.....
Title: Re: The Great British Public!
Post by: RickF on February 04, 2008, 10:09:03 am
The results of a UKTV survey in our paper today - apparently 45% think Sherlock Holmes was real, and 25% think Winston Churchill was a fictional character! Pity no one was asked about the current Education Minister.

Rick
Title: Re: The Great British Public!
Post by: norry on February 04, 2008, 11:21:12 am
   ...Hi Guys...

I present Pub Quizzes on occasions...
Here are some of the stupid trick  questions that I have received stupid wrong answers to...

How many BRATZ DOLLS were there in the orignal movie..& For a Bonus Point name all four...

What colour is a NEW YORK YELLOW CAB...

Where would you find the BOSTON HARBOUR BRIDGE...

Name the Ship in the MUTINY ON THE BOUNTY...

Some of the answers i have received are not suitable for a web site like this...Norry...
Title: Re: The Great British Public!
Post by: elmo on February 04, 2008, 12:23:32 pm

Norry, don't want to be beaten to the answer to that Mutiny question, but wasn't it HMS Mars Bar??  ;)
Title: Re: The Great British Public!
Post by: Shipmate60 on February 04, 2008, 01:40:16 pm
No, thats the wrong TOPIC!!

Bob
Title: Re: The Great British Public!
Post by: sheerline on February 04, 2008, 03:05:05 pm
Lots of snickers from this end!
Title: Re: The Great British Public!
Post by: Colin Bishop on February 04, 2008, 03:07:35 pm
I'm totally flaked out...
Title: Re: The Great British Public!
Post by: elmo on February 04, 2008, 03:43:42 pm

Methinks the question is a bit of a mal-teaser...

But, I do have the answer to Question 2....  :o  It should be...  What color is a NEW YORK YELLOW CAB?  O0
Title: Re: The Great British Public!
Post by: norry on February 04, 2008, 04:32:01 pm
This is turning into a Marathon Topic...
Title: Re: The Great British Public!
Post by: norry on February 04, 2008, 04:36:12 pm
 ...This Topic is Becoming a Marathon...

Elmo...The Question is correct...What Colour...I am in the UK, therefore i use the UK spelling...
Title: Re: The Great British Public!
Post by: elmo on February 04, 2008, 05:05:28 pm
...This Topic is Becoming a Marathon...

Elmo...The Question is correct...What Colour...I am in the UK, therefore i use the UK spelling...

Norry, I appreciate that - it was but a poor attempt at humour... as were my other postings on this topic!  ::)

Actually HMS Mars would probably have been funnier...?
Title: Re: The Great British Public!
Post by: meechingman on February 04, 2008, 10:35:44 pm
And our transatlantic cousins would spell it humor, I suppose. Never mind, it's our language, we'll just let them borrow it for a bit!  {-)
Title: Re: The Great British Public!
Post by: White Ensign on February 05, 2008, 08:02:11 am
.... Meeching, please don`t let me (as a Jonny Foreigner) know what the differences are....  :D

So, may we turn this headline into: "Global Stupidity?"
I think we will overtake the Jokes/humour (do you agree to my writing?) easily.

Jörg

P.s.: The dots over the O are not some kind of fleas or flies-dirt on your screen........ ::)
Title: Re: The Great British Public!
Post by: meechingman on February 05, 2008, 01:58:03 pm
Dammit. I've been trying to clean them off for the last hour! ::)

Seriously, I have many friends and colleagues from when I worked in Germany, most have those umlauts somewhere in their names.

And yes, stupidity is definitely a global commodity!

Andy