Model Boat Mayhem

Mess Deck: General Section => Chit-Chat => Topic started by: Martin (Admin) on June 30, 2010, 03:06:02 pm

Title: British citizenship test
Post by: Martin (Admin) on June 30, 2010, 03:06:02 pm


               http://www.ukcitizenshiptest.co.uk/ (http://www.ukcitizenshiptest.co.uk/)


                             .....post your results!
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: Roger in France on June 30, 2010, 03:23:40 pm
Not that I want to return from France, but....they would not let me in as I failed with only 46% correct.

Very interesting but I fail to see the relevance of many of the questions to being a fit and proper citizen. I consider much more basic things to be far more important. e.g.

"What telephone number would you use to contact the Emergency Services?"

"Where would you enquire about placing your child in a school?"

"What information must you provide to a Police Officer on demand?"

"What friendly greeting would be appropriate on first meeting a neighbour each morning?"


Roger in France
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: barryfoote on June 30, 2010, 03:26:35 pm
Oh dear another failure with 46%. Mind you, just like Roger, I have no plans to return!!
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: Colin Bishop on June 30, 2010, 03:28:25 pm
50% I shall be extradited tomorrow to the Isle of Wight.

I agree with Roger, the questions are not very relevant to being a good Citizen. Why should the percentage of Muslims matter when a only a relatively small range of options is given. Who cares?!

But maybe the bias is set to fail for political reasons.

Colin
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: essex2visuvesi on June 30, 2010, 03:35:37 pm
The questions are obscure to say the least

Glad to see the british goverment are spending their money wisely


Ill stay here in Finland thanks
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: meechingman on June 30, 2010, 03:37:02 pm
71% but still failed.

Mind you some of the questions are irrelevant bull droppings and I'm pretty sure that there are 650 MP's, an answer that doesn't appear.
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: dreadnought72 on June 30, 2010, 03:37:59 pm
71% for me, with no cheating.  :-)) But some of those questions are woefully irrelevant. Ulster Scots? Days a school must remain open per year? The year women could divorce their husbands?

Surely learning about Citizens Advice Bureaus and knowing speed limits is of more direct use to anyone wishing to settle here.

Andy
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: Colin Bishop on June 30, 2010, 03:40:18 pm
Quote
I'm pretty sure that there are 650 MP's, an answer that doesn't appear

It went from 646 to 650 this year!
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: wideawake on June 30, 2010, 03:56:34 pm
71% for me, with no cheating.  :-)) But some of those questions are woefully irrelevant. Ulster Scots? Days a school must remain open per year? The year women could divorce their husbands?

Surely learning about Citizens Advice Bureaus and knowing speed limits is of more direct use to anyone wishing to settle here.

Andy


75% here on an instant canter through without long thinking times (13 mins total) but I agree about the irrelevance of some of the questions.   I'm at work for the day at BBC Wales.   I must be bored.

Cheers

Guy
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: Shipmate60 on June 30, 2010, 04:09:00 pm
50% do I get to stay then?

Bob
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: Colin Bishop on June 30, 2010, 04:32:58 pm
Sorry Bob, first ship out to Botany Bay for you....
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: dodgy geezer on June 30, 2010, 05:00:07 pm
Has anyone asked how much taxpayers money we have spent on this rubbish?
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: regiment on June 30, 2010, 05:11:00 pm
born in surrey 79 yrs ago  22 yrs in RAF  FAILED  will i get paid to leave   
(http://s1.postimage.org/kf8cA.jpg) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=gxkf8cA)
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: Colin Bishop on June 30, 2010, 05:19:20 pm
Quote
Has anyone asked how much taxpayers money we have spent on this rubbish?

You didn't pass either then......
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: FullLeatherJacket on June 30, 2010, 05:34:56 pm
58%. Couldn't care less; I'm here.  :P
FLJ
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: gondolier88 on June 30, 2010, 06:35:28 pm
While we all murmour how stupid the questions are, would you rather they spend our taxpayers money on benefits to everyone seeking asylum that got the questions right because they were so easy.

And another thing, those questions are open book, those doing the test have a guidebook with all the answers in!!!!!!!!!

Greg
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: SNOOPDOG32 on June 30, 2010, 07:15:34 pm
65% does this mean i will have to stay in wales :embarrassed:
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: bilzin on June 30, 2010, 07:17:42 pm
I failed it too....good job I've still got me green card for the states I guess, although in 2005 I turned down US citizenship...anyone blame me ?

Bill
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: Timo2 on June 30, 2010, 07:19:40 pm
Hi All  and FLJ


    67%  failed   and i am  Scottish  not all questions work up here  %)

     Timo2
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: StevenageMBC on June 30, 2010, 08:14:28 pm
33%. Oops?
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: The long Build on June 30, 2010, 08:21:45 pm
50%
But I have my Letter..  :}
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: sjoormen on June 30, 2010, 08:28:25 pm
 Huh 58% well it means I will have to stay here {-) {-)
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: Jimmy James on June 30, 2010, 08:41:49 pm
67% Silly lot of questions .. {:-{.. Any way I spent more time away at sea than I ever did ashore at home,,,, :((,,, In the old days you signed up for a 2 year trip

I notice Martin didn't post his score  <*< (Light blue touch paper...what)

Freebooter
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: dan on June 30, 2010, 09:13:42 pm
42%  hmmm  :}
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: Drkomen86 on June 30, 2010, 10:10:05 pm
You have failed the practice citizenship test.

Questions answered correctly: 8 out of 24 (33%)

Time taken: 06 minutes 09 seconds
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: Colin Bishop on June 30, 2010, 10:14:41 pm
Looks lke mass deportation chaps....  :((
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: surabaya on June 30, 2010, 10:54:04 pm
Did someone mention Tax payers money >:-o

My wife was Indonesian.

My wife got 100%, Yes 100
 
Cost to British gov £0

It cost me £300 For entry visa

£400 for unlimited stay visa

£34 for test

£720 for British citizen papers + £30 for council bod to check papers

£'s for passport, £'s for Flights, £'s to line officials pockets Etc + numerous days off to visit home office.


Ps. I am English through and through and I failed 50% :embarrassed: and before the wise cracks, I know about the "Nobody is truly English" argument
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: RaaArtyGunner on June 30, 2010, 11:00:43 pm
 ok2
Guys  ok2 don't feel too bad, %)

Bummer I failed got only 58%  %) :embarrassed:

Would have been 100% if I read the citizenship book :D  :kiss:

Just goes to show like the OZ test irrelevant  O0 %%

Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: gondolier88 on June 30, 2010, 11:19:54 pm
My wife was Indonesian.

My wife got 100%, Yes 100

She was Indonesian, what is she now??????? Hopefully an Indonesian lady with British Citizenship??????? %)

Greg
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: Dreadstar on July 01, 2010, 12:20:13 am
What exactly is supposed to happen here? I can get onto the test title page,but nothing else happens. {:-{
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: tigertiger on July 01, 2010, 06:20:23 am
What exactly is supposed to happen here? I can get onto the test title page,but nothing else happens. {:-{
I guess that means you failed  %) {-)
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: HS93 (RIP) on July 01, 2010, 06:27:31 am
Ive been told to report to Lunar House immediately  {-) {-)


peter %%
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: Roger in France on July 01, 2010, 07:29:25 am
I have been thinking about this test.

I am now a little more comfortable that all the rest of you failed as well as myself!

If the purpose of obscure questions is to make applicants read a booklet which has much more useful information in it then I guess there is reason to the exercise. However, we all seem to agree that most of the questions are superfluous.

Yes, MARTIN, when do we get to see YOUR score?

Roger in France
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: dodgy geezer on July 01, 2010, 08:11:37 am
You didn't pass either then......

Correct!

Neither did the trader sitting next to me in this City office. And he's a cockney.....
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: FullLeatherJacket on July 01, 2010, 08:50:24 am
And he's a cockney.....

I've consulted my copy of "Her Majesty's Government - Official Guide; Potential Citizens (British) - Part 3(b): British Places" and there's no such one listed.

Did you mean Cuckney ("North Notts; semi-desert; officially twinned with Tatooine")?

Or maybe Orkney ("A long way up the map; in fact, almost falling off the edge of the world. Nearly British but not quite. More Viking")?

This "test" reminds me of those so-called competitions where you have to read three lines of large text and then pick out the most obvious word from a list of three, two of which did not appear in it and are completely irrelevant anyway. You know the sort:

Members of the ModelBoatMayhem Forum are people who make:
1) Cup cakes
2) Model Boats
3) Dermatitis

It proves nothing except very basic literacy. Is that all HMG is after establishing? Reminds me of the tale my mate Ken McHugh tells of when he was working for HM Customs in Dover East B Inbound Freight Shed. Confronted by a bloke he described as six feet thirteen and the colour of coal, Ken asked for the passenger's passport. This contained a very grainy picture along with an address in Dundee and the name of Alexander McTavish (or some such). Ken asked the punter what the name of the British Prime Minister was, and the reply came back "Uh? Is Winston Churchill, mister?"

Takes all sorts, dunnit?
FLJ
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: hopeitfloats on July 01, 2010, 10:35:22 am
54% but 46% were guesses.
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: tigertiger on July 01, 2010, 11:13:32 am
Damn, I must be the Alien in the closet. I got 75%
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: Circlip on July 01, 2010, 11:48:14 am
     54%

   
Quote
And another thing, those questions are open book, those doing the test have a guidebook with all the answers in!!!!!!!!!

  Nobody seems to have locked onto the fact that even with the guide book, you need to be able to read and understand English.

   Now ven m8, wot was da kweschun??

  Regards  Ian.
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: cbr900 on July 01, 2010, 03:05:04 pm
Took all of 5 minutes and got 50%, which means I will have to stay here.......... :-)) :-))


Roy
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: portside II on July 01, 2010, 03:24:51 pm
well i failed the test 28%  , bu at least i got the important ones right (for me anyway) .
I couldnt care less what percentacge of the populatin claim to be muslim , or what dielect is spoken , but thats just me .

So is the test a final thing for all people wanting to enter the country and if they fail are they deported to the country they came from , and if they keep the questions the same ,
well i remembered the correct answers and got 100% .
off to make some cupcakes  now with my rubber gloves on for my dermatitus  {-) {-) .
daz
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: chingdevil on July 01, 2010, 05:21:24 pm
3min 10 sec score of 75%, looks like I am going to have to stay


Brian
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: rem2007 on July 01, 2010, 07:19:57 pm
 {-)38%. big deal, after the rubbish day I had, I could care less to stay here. People you've known for 2 years, snub you at the office, clients have nothing better to do then complain as you try and improve their lot in life and some idiot nearly takes out the front end of your car as you drive up to your house (who also happens to be your neighbour who has turned his front garden into a used car lot). Hmmm, leave to remain expires 2014 and I am quite positive I shall not be renewing that for another £600. Rant over.

Robert
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: Patrick Henry on July 01, 2010, 07:28:38 pm
I didn't need to get me coat, someone sent it to me...
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: REGO on July 01, 2010, 09:03:34 pm
46% and Ive Lived in England for 68 years!
 So thay will be throwing me out soon {:-{
                                           REG order of the BOF
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: Jimmy James on July 01, 2010, 09:08:16 pm
I SEE MARTIN IS STILL KEEPING MUM!!!
Freebooter  %)
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: SNOOPDOG32 on July 01, 2010, 09:12:14 pm
PERHAPS HE IS CHECKING HIS PASPORT IS STILL VALID  {-) {-) {-)
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: Navy2000 on July 01, 2010, 10:33:52 pm
I got a 54% not bad for an American!

Duane
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: Perkasaman2 on July 01, 2010, 10:56:07 pm
Well done Duane - I also got 54% - we're both doing something wrong somewhere.  (But I'm a 'limey'. )  %) :}
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: PMK on July 02, 2010, 08:22:32 am
Damn... I got 75%

Mine was 1%.
(Like we know how the Hell's Angels earned their "1%" badge, innit)
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: essex2visuvesi on July 02, 2010, 08:41:15 am
1% ers in Bike gang terms means that they have killed foir the club (been watching a series on TV about M/C Clubs)
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: HS93 (RIP) on July 02, 2010, 08:58:06 am
Mine was 1%.


well you can count up to twelve on your fingers  %%

Peter  {-)

PS I beat you by a few %
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: dodgy geezer on July 02, 2010, 09:44:24 am
well you can count up to twelve on your fingers  %%

Peter  {-)


Being able to count up to twelve is shortly going to be banned by the EU ....

DG
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: aestus57 on July 02, 2010, 01:28:21 pm
 :embarrassed:    65%.....   and failed..... and I am British.... but then I don't think I want to be any more!!!!  <:(  <:(  <:(
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: Jimmy James on July 02, 2010, 10:31:35 pm
They only want to ban it because they can't figure out how many pennies are in a shilling (12d)or in a £ for that matter (20s)...and havent yet figuard out how to find the other half of a crown (2s 6d)
Freebooter  :-))  Sorry to our younger readers ---This dates back to the times when we used real money  %) O0 %%
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: tigertiger on July 02, 2010, 11:20:51 pm
Ah! Jimmy, you remind me.

Guinea
Quid note the size of a modern 20
10 bob note
Crown
Half-crown
Florin
Bob
Tanner
Threpence
Penny
Ha'penny (or as my grandad used to say 'ape knee'
Farthings

Too young to recall
White fivers
Mites
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: RaaArtyGunner on July 03, 2010, 02:24:24 am
Ah! Jimmy, you remind me.

Guinea
Quid note the size of a modern 20
10 bob note
Crown
Half-crown
Florin
Bob
Tanner
Threpence
Penny
Ha'penny (or as my grandad used to say 'ape knee'
Farthings

Too young to recall
White fivers
Mites

Much the same in Oz  :-)) as well as
Fiver,
Tenner
Brick
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: essex2visuvesi on July 03, 2010, 08:28:51 am
Ah! Jimmy, you remind me.

Guinea
Quid note the size of a modern 20
10 bob note
Crown
Half-crown
Florin
Bob
Tanner
Threpence
Penny
Ha'penny (or as my grandad used to say 'ape knee'
Farthings

Too young to recall
White fivers
Mites

Do they not still use Guineas at horse sales?
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: Watchleader on July 03, 2010, 09:04:09 am
Guinea's are used in horse sales only as a reference.
I can't imagine a guinea coin has changed hands at a horse sale for close on eighty years. :-)
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: Dreadstar on July 03, 2010, 09:33:17 am
By the way,if you use the Assyrian method of counting,you can count up to 156 on your fingers. :-))
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: Terryt on July 03, 2010, 10:48:42 am
How does that work then, Dreadstar?
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: Tug on July 03, 2010, 02:56:07 pm
I am saying now't 6 mins and   [Questions answered correctly: 18 out of 24 (75%) ]
But then uz immegrants knew it all that is why we is oot!

But portside 28%?
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: toesupwa on July 03, 2010, 03:37:13 pm
You have failed the practice citizenship test.

Questions answered correctly: 11 out of 24 (46%)

Thank F*** I'm in California eh!...  ;D
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: Dreadstar on July 03, 2010, 05:58:20 pm
The Assyrian system works thus,using the thumd of the left hand,you count each segment of eack finger,giving you a total of 12. Now using the right thumb,count each segment of each finger as whole units of 12,this gives a total count of 144 for the entire right hand. You can then count off another 12 on the left hand,giving a grand total of 156. :-))
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: PMK on July 03, 2010, 07:48:55 pm
"...you count each segment of eack finger,giving you a total of 12."

I make it 14.
Think I'll stay with binary.

Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: Shipmate60 on July 03, 2010, 07:54:09 pm
PMK,
If you use the thumb to count the segments you cant count the 2 of the thumb!!

Bob
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: PMK on July 03, 2010, 08:13:52 pm
Ah, hear that - thanks. Now I see where 156 comes in. (Like I berk, I was using the left thumb to count the right-hand segments).

But wouldn't binary yield an overall larger number with the same amount fingers?... something like 1024?
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: Jimmy James on July 03, 2010, 08:45:46 pm
Sixes and Twelves are easy I even Taught an American friend how to do it.... 5 fingers + 1 hand = 6 ....10 fingers + 2 hands = 12 = 1 shilling  {-) {-)
Freebooter
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: PMK on July 03, 2010, 10:23:01 pm
1% ers in Bike gang terms means that they have killed foir the club (been watching a series on TV about M/C Clubs)

What you were watching, they couldn't have done their homework properly. Death doesn't necessarily have to come into it. Poor old Tiger is now probably conjuring-up visions of some huge hairy bonehead coming to kick his butt just because he got the highest score. Me, I prefer the original meaning of the 1%'er - the REAL meaning. Much cooler.

Besides, I lied. I didn't score 1%. I didn't even waste my time doing it. Which, as I rightly suspected all along, turns out to be just another typical gvnmnt' fiasco anyway.
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: derekwarner on July 04, 2010, 01:33:48 am
.....I suspect there is no reference in marking such a test  %%...has anyone actually seen the correct answer sheet? :o

Just a computer loaded spread sheet that does not permit a 100% correct answer result

And my result?............ = 46%  >>:-( >>:-( >>:-( >>:-( >>:-( >>:-( >>:-( >>:-( >>:-(

But then again I only answered 50% of the questions.....so stastically I could have been awarded 92% ........ :-)) if I'd completed the answer to all questions  {-) {-) {-) Derek
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: tigertiger on July 04, 2010, 01:40:32 am
I suspect that there is a handbook with many questions in. You need to learn the answers and the sample test on line is not the actual test. The sample test is only 24 questions. I would hazard a guess that the full test in 100 question, in a proper test centre. Someone else alluded to this earlier.

A bit like the driving theory test.
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: tigertiger on July 04, 2010, 01:45:35 am
Here we go, a series of books here.
http://www.tsoshop.co.uk/bookstore.asp?AF=A10123&FO=1278112&trackid=002363
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: Bryan Young on July 05, 2010, 07:07:58 pm
Another use for knuckles:- an easy way to remember how many days in a month....clench left fist, start with raised knuckle and that is 31 days, the hollows are 30 days...repeat. Stupid, but it works! BY.
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: Boatswain on July 06, 2010, 08:01:26 pm
I failed it too....good job I've still got me green card for the states I guess, although in 2005 I turned down US citizenship...anyone blame me ?

Bill

You turned down citizenship here?  Wow!  They surely don't give it away, but look at our immigration issues!   :}  It's not such a bad place.  There are worse places, you know. 
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: tobyker on July 09, 2010, 06:35:02 pm
"To have been born british is to have won first prize in the lottery of life" Cecil Rhodes.
American senator- "99% of motrorcyclists are good and decent citizens". Which is why the Angels call them selves 1%ers
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: bigfella on July 10, 2010, 12:50:13 am
50% here but at least your questions don't have Cricket as a subject like the proposed Australian questions. One of the questions was what was Don Bradmans batting average?

But I do believe that any migrant to any country should be able to speak the language and be able to have enough knowledge of things like customs and basic history about the country that they are going to call home before becoming a citizen.

Regards David
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: derekwarner on July 10, 2010, 01:07:08 am
sorry....... ok2 a little off track = learning to speak English {:-{

My sister in-law... Dr G Warner %% is a Dean of a private college in Sydney ....they have hundreds of students from the United Emirates & Asia over here in OZ on student visas just to learn the English language

At my local UOW [University of Wollongong 26,000 students] we have just under six thousand students from similar backgrounds just studying the English language

http://www.google.com.au/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=6&ved=0CDEQFjAF&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstudylink.com%2Fdisplay%2Fprovider%2Fprovider-info.html%3Fpid%3Dpid-mm-01-00102e&ei=4Lk3TNyGEM-TkAX64MW4Aw&usg=AFQjCNHssmIbZItV3sN0CFoS6se9grT5hg


Total number of students: 26,000

Number of International students: 6,000

Percentage of International students: 25%

International to domestic ratio: 25%

Main countries of origin: Bangladesh, Canada, China, France, Hong Kong, India, Indonesia, Japan, Korea, Malaysia, Pakistan, Singapore, Taiwan, Thailand, United Arab Emirates, and USA


Australia wide  :o :o :o...teaching others a new language is a thriving industry with big $ fees charged............Derek
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: RaaArtyGunner on July 10, 2010, 01:19:43 am


But I do believe that any migrant to any country should be able to speak the language and be able to have enough knowledge of things like customs and basic history about the country that they are going to call home before becoming a citizen.

Regards David

Goodness me that is radical thinking going back to the past %)
There was a time in a land Farway called Oz where future settlers/immigrant/migrants learnt the language and customs and became naturalised Aussies.  O0 :-))

But "enlightenment" prevailed and now thay no speaka or unna stan da language or wanna be Ausssies  <:( >>:-( >>:-( <*< <*<
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: derekwarner on July 10, 2010, 01:46:23 am
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm  now I not being cynical   O0 O0...but it appears that many of the international students on completion of their English studies....apply for an extension to their student visas to undertake additional university enrolment

Naturally one of the criteria of the student visa extension is that the applicant must be able to demonstrate an acceptable knowledge & use of the English language  O0

Politicians  %% :o argue....that teaching English to international students is infinate as a renewable commodity is far better than selling our coal & iron ore which is finite........just sometimes I must agree with certain DINGBAT  politicial theory ..........Derek %)
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: kiwi96 on July 10, 2010, 05:23:22 am
I got 50%. Mind you not interested in coming over as wife is from there and does not want to retun, nor do the ex pats we have for friends. Some very irrelevant questions I thought for a questioneer on UK citizinship application.
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: dodgy geezer on July 10, 2010, 09:07:57 am

Goodness me that is radical thinking going back to the past %)
There was a time in a land Farway called Oz where future settlers/immigrant/migrants learnt the language and customs and became naturalised Aussies. 


I'm impressed! I didn't think all the convicts were taught tribal customs and languages....
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: RaaArtyGunner on July 10, 2010, 11:20:07 am

Dodgy,
We sent Rolf Harris over with the song " Tie Me Kangaroo down sport"  O0 to let you know how we had progressed and I think he (on our behalf  %) ;) ) was knighted. O0
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: Perkasaman2 on July 10, 2010, 01:06:33 pm
On behalf of the log-blowers and board- benders in our kingdom, can I express our  deepest gratitude to this talented alien.  :}
(I think he should have got a peerage  %) )

 He's definately up there with Dame Edna. {-)
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: dodgy geezer on July 10, 2010, 03:54:43 pm
http://sirlespatterson.com/media/parkinson/

Just run the video. If only to hear the introduction.....
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: RaaArtyGunner on July 10, 2010, 10:57:45 pm
http://sirlespatterson.com/media/parkinson/

Just run the video. If only to hear the introduction.....

Dodgy,
What can I say,
 :-))  {-) {-) {-) {-) {-) %% %% %% %%
Aussie aussie Oi Oi Oi
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: rem2007 on July 10, 2010, 11:14:18 pm
sorry....... ok2 a little off track = learning to speak English {:-{

My sister in-law... Dr G Warner %% is a Dean of a private college in Sydney ....they have hundreds of students from the United Emirates & Asia over here in OZ on student visas just to learn the English language

At my local UOW [University of Wollongong 26,000 students] we have just under six thousand students from similar backgrounds just studying the English language

http://www.google.com.au/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=6&ved=0CDEQFjAF&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstudylink.com%2Fdisplay%2Fprovider%2Fprovider-info.html%3Fpid%3Dpid-mm-01-00102e&ei=4Lk3TNyGEM-TkAX64MW4Aw&usg=AFQjCNHssmIbZItV3sN0CFoS6se9grT5hg


Total number of students: 26,000

Number of International students: 6,000

Percentage of International students: 25%

International to domestic ratio: 25%

Main countries of origin: Bangladesh, Canada, China, France, Hong Kong, India, Indonesia, Japan, Korea, Malaysia, Pakistan, Singapore, Taiwan, Thailand, United Arab Emirates, and USA


Australia wide  :o :o :o...teaching others a new language is a thriving industry with big $ fees charged............Derek


I'm just curious as to why a Canadian would go to Austrailia to leartn English? {-) Sort of reminds me of something I was asked 6 years ago when I moved to the Uk, Do they speak the same English in Canada as we do here in England?
Well, I replied, we are a bilingual nation so, >:-o
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: derekwarner on July 10, 2010, 11:17:09 pm
mmmmm I have seen Sir Les ....our OZ "culturile attachete" perform @ a club venue some years back.....absolutely side splitting & the vulgarity >>:-( is so pointed & yet not offensive  {-) O0 :embarrassed: ...some would say a very talented artisittee  .......Derek
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: Perkasaman2 on July 11, 2010, 11:58:24 am
we share a great sense of humour.  O0 {-)
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: dodgy geezer on July 11, 2010, 01:16:50 pm
I think that all are in agreement that the 'British citizenship' tests are a complete load of less than satisfactory.

It is a given, of course, that the whole concept of trying to define the culture of any country by means of a multiple choice questionnaire is perilously close to clinical insanity, and the sort of weird notion that would only occur to an academic sociologist living in north-west London who has never been further north than Oxford - the very people who seemed to have been running much of the last administration's home policy. 

On second thoughts, however, one of the enduring qualities of some inhabitants of these Isles (particularly the English) has always been a strong tendency towards eccentricity - so perhaps anyone who takes the test, throws down their pen in incredulity and exclaims 'These people are mad! has moved some way towards understanding us....

Given that some contract company has surely been paid a lot of money for producing these questions, I wonder if the assembled and motley crew here can do better? I am reminded of that famous bit of Hofnung advice to foreigners - describing British culture he gave some examples, if memory serves:

- Never pay the price demanded for a newspaper; good-natured haggling is customary.

- Never attempt to tip a taxi-driver.

- On first entering a railway carriage, it is customary to shake hands with every passenger.

- Try the famous echo in the British Museum Reading Room.

- Visitors in London hotels are expected by the management to hang the bedlinen out of the windows to air.

- Parking is permitted in the grounds of Buckingham Palace on payment of a small fee to the sentry.

- You can identify British brothels because they have a blue lamp outside.

- British licensing laws require pubs to clear old stock at the end of each day, so beer is free in London pubs after the evening bell.




Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: Double D on July 12, 2010, 10:40:05 pm


I failed <:(  Don't tell my bosses though, I have worked for the Local Council for the last 25 years and this shows I've still got a lot to learn O0
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: Number 6 on July 13, 2010, 02:00:11 pm
Failed, what a stupid and pointless test!!! ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: RaaArtyGunner on July 14, 2010, 12:16:02 am

Don't worry  <:( it's OK  %)  you can always sit for ours  :-))
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: derekwarner on July 14, 2010, 01:12:11 am
Now that's very sporting of you RaaArtyGunner ...to offer a POM a ticket to OZ  >>:-( if he/she passes the test

I seem to have lost my copy of the OZ Citezenshipe de-teste some time after little Johhy Howard lost office

Do you have a copy of the version by previous Revin07 or the current RED head Jilley? that you could post here?


 :} %) :-X ....Derek
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: RaaArtyGunner on July 14, 2010, 02:04:39 am

Derek,
Don't stress she's allright  :-)) the test will be like cricket tests  O0 {-) %% <*<
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: derekwarner on July 14, 2010, 02:56:39 am
Moderators ...I have only watched 3/4 of this .....so if there is any swearing I no not what ....... {-) - Derek

WARNING - do not open the following link to the Australian Citizenship Test - there is a naughty swear word near the end which must NOT be heard on MAYHEM  %%

For those who need to see the test, please copy the link to your own PC & view & laugh via that medium.......

YOU have been warned TWICE.........again do not open the following link to the Australian Citizenship Test - there is a naughty swear word near the end which must NOT be heard on MAYHEM  


http://www.google.com.au/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=5&ved=0CDYQtwIwBA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DGb4LoTG3C8E&ei=7Rc9TPblBoXEvQPHqKjsDg&usg=AFQjCNH-XJM5FTiWqGB0Vitm-MBqb8Tcsg
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: RaaArtyGunner on July 16, 2010, 12:56:23 am

Rumour has it  ;)  ;) that the "Australian Citizenship Testing Authority"  {-) has been infiltrated  :embarrassed: :embarrassed: and the following information  %) :o has been offered for sale  :-))  on the Brit blackmarket  >>:-( <*< <:(
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: djrobbo on July 16, 2010, 07:29:57 pm
Oh dear...36%.....i cant be british afterall.......have to look for a cheap ticket out of here then..


             CAN THE LAST PERSON TO LEAVE THE COUNTRY PLEASE TURN THE LIGHTS OFF   !!!!!!!!
Title: Re: British citizenship test
Post by: RaaArtyGunner on July 18, 2010, 06:05:45 am

Sruth, looks like all who failed the test are heading down under  O0  O0

 Bris Vegas or little Brit-bane?
KATHERINE FEENEY
July 17, 2010

     

Brisbane may be colloquially known as Bris Vegas, but it seems Brit-bane may be more appropriate.

But despite the British influx, there may not be a need to stop chilling our beers just yet.

A NatWest survey published last week reported British ex-pats accounted for 10.4 per cent of the city's population.

That flew in the face of Australian Bureau of Statistics figures, collected during the 2006 national census, which found just 4.5 per cent of Brisbane residents were British.

A further 0.7 per cent spoke with a distinct Scottish brogue.

Whatever the true figure, it accounted for a significant portion of the population born on the British isles.

British expatriate Adrian Davies said Queensland's capital is a lucrative destination for those relocating from the Old Dart.

Co-organiser of the Brisbane Everton Football Club supporters group and ready to cheer on his team at Suncorp Stadium tonight, Mr Davies first visited Australia in 1990.

It didn't take long for him to become enamoured with the weather and lifestyle offered here and he moved from England 14 years ago, settling in Brisbane with his Queensland-born wife.

Mr Davies said he would never go back.

“Brisbane offers you a laid back lifestyle,” he said.

“It's a great place to raise a family – the climate and the access to schools and health.

“I always tell the family back home that the lifestyle is better here.” {-) {-) {-)

His responsibilities to the club and involvement with the greater football community kept him in touch with many fellow British and European expatriates and Mr Davies said there was a general consensus among them that life was better in Brisbane.

He said most British people prefer the economic climate in Australia to that in the United Kingdom where, Mr Davies said, the Global Financial Crisis had led to widespread housing and employment problems.

Brisbane Marketing CEO John Aitken recently told the BBC a collaborative business style prompted many new recruits, who in turn stimulated the city's social scene.

"This rapid growth has delivered new entertainment precincts, an exciting live music scene and quaint urban villages … with a beautiful river, natural bay and scenic rim at our doorstep,” he said.

Lord Mayor Campbell Newman said he could also understand why Brisbane was appealing to British expats.

"Brisbane is a youthful, vibrant and progressive city and a place of great beauty with stunning natural features," he said. 8) 8)

"So, needless to say, I'm not surprised that Brisbane is the city of choice for British expats.”  :-)) :-))

The NatWest study also reported that in 2008, 17.9 per cent of Australian immigrants - 30,590 people - were Britons.

State-based figures from the Department of Immigration and Citizenship showed New Zealand was the main contributor of new international arrivals to Queensland, followed by migrants from the United Kingdom and South Africa.  <:( <:( <*< <*< >>:-( >>:-( >>:-(