Model Boat Mayhem

Mess Deck: General Section => Chit-Chat => Topic started by: ACTion on June 08, 2011, 11:27:13 pm

Title: "Answers on a postcard, please"
Post by: ACTion on June 08, 2011, 11:27:13 pm
Sitting in our lounge at 7.40pm today, reading a book, and the phone rang:

"Hello" said I.
"Is it too late to place an order?" said the caller.

Twenty Brownie points on offer for the closest guess to my reply (remember it's a family forum).
Dave M
Title: Re: "Answers on a postcard, please"
Post by: nhp651 on June 08, 2011, 11:31:38 pm
in this cash strapped economic climate, i hope you said..........

"certainly not sir.......i'll process it straight away, and have in in the post first thing tomorrow"

NO" :o, oh well!!! %) %) %) %) %)
Title: Re: "Answers on a postcard, please"
Post by: Roadrunner on June 08, 2011, 11:37:17 pm
''never to late to put out an order but i'm afraid its only leftover steak that's available right now, I believe the dog is chewing on it, if you like i can wrestle the dog to the floor to get it, package it up only half chewed for you and only charge you 1/2 price but i will have to charge extra should the dog decide he wants to take a chunk out of my leg!'

Title: Re: "Answers on a postcard, please"
Post by: matphoto on June 08, 2011, 11:48:54 pm
I,m afraid it is....... but I can give you the number to  the Chinese Take Away next door if that's of help.....  >>:-( >>:-( <*< <*<
Title: Re: "Answers on a postcard, please"
Post by: knoby on June 09, 2011, 12:24:05 am
' go away & have intercourse' although maybe using slightly different words?
Title: Re: "Answers on a postcard, please"
Post by: boatmadman on June 09, 2011, 02:29:05 am
What else would you say than:

No, its never too late, what would you like?

 {-) {-) {-)
Title: Re: "Answers on a postcard, please"
Post by: Timo2 on June 09, 2011, 08:00:33 am
You OLD Smoothie

   " Yes Sir it,s never to late "   then you add 75% surcharge and post it 2 days later ( with out a Stamp )       {-) {-) {-)

  Timo2
Title: Re: "Answers on a postcard, please"
Post by: funtimefrankie on June 09, 2011, 08:24:57 am
Maybe it's time to invest in a second phone line for the business, with an answering machine for out of hours. :-))
Title: Re: "Answers on a postcard, please"
Post by: RaaArtyGunner on June 09, 2011, 09:09:05 am
C'mon guys give him a break it wasn't that late here.
 %) %) %) {-) {-) {-)
Title: Re: "Answers on a postcard, please"
Post by: regiment on June 09, 2011, 11:29:42 am
could have been 7 40 AM having breakfast in bed
Title: Re: "Answers on a postcard, please"
Post by: unbuiltnautilus on June 09, 2011, 04:35:32 pm
Its nice to be able to go home and leave the phone at work! Not always an option. Mind you, then its club members on the phone!!
Title: Re: "Answers on a postcard, please"
Post by: dougal99 on June 09, 2011, 07:35:12 pm
 :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :police:

Title: Re: "Answers on a postcard, please"
Post by: Wetwater on June 09, 2011, 08:17:18 pm
 author=dougal99 link=topic=30865.msg304970#msg304970 date=1307644512]
 :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :police:


     So, it was YOU.   {-)
Title: Re: "Answers on a postcard, please"
Post by: triumphjon on June 09, 2011, 09:31:33 pm
dont know what the problem is ? 1940hrs for somebody wishing to purchase parts , not everybody in this world works to a strict uk 9 till 5 system ! for many years i would take calls throughout the night from customers who required my assistance , none of them were EVER TURNED AWAY  ! it did mean that some nights id be call out at two or three in the morning to rush refrigerant gas , or medical organs around the uk  .
Title: Re: "Answers on a postcard, please"
Post by: ACTion on June 10, 2011, 08:58:40 am
dont know what the problem is ? 1940hrs for somebody wishing to purchase parts , not everybody in this world works to a strict uk 9 till 5 system ! for many years i would take calls throughout the night from customers who required my assistance , none of them were EVER TURNED AWAY  ! it did mean that some nights id be call out at two or three in the morning to rush refrigerant gas , or medical organs around the uk  .
O dear. No Brownie points here, but maybe a dozen raspberries for missing the point. The idea was to give an opportunity for mirth to the usual suspects by allowing them to make daft and even vaguely insulting suggestions as to what I might have said to this gent. Perhaps if I'd posted this under "Humour" then you might have had more of a clue.

Your work ethic is most laudable but the comparison is baseless. We aren't in business to attend to medical emergencies - we make speed controllers etc. You may not think that 7.40pm is an unsuitable time for taking telephone orders but I personally work seven days a week in this business, often for more than ten hours a day, so my private time is pretty valuable. Our telephone/business hours are posted on our website and appear on every copy of our price list. If buying model boat electronics at 7.40pm is that important then perhaps I've got it all wrong - but we seem to do OK "working 9 to 5" so we won't be changing the opening hours any time soon.

DM
Title: Re: "Answers on a postcard, please"
Post by: DickyD on June 10, 2011, 09:43:18 am
Hi Boss

Have you thought about having an ex directory phone line for your private calls and an answering machine on your business line.

Worked for me.

I would need the ex directory number though. ok2
Title: Re: "Answers on a postcard, please"
Post by: dougal99 on June 10, 2011, 09:44:42 am
author=dougal99 link=topic=30865.msg304970#msg304970 date=1307644512]
 :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :police:


     So, it was YOU.   {-)

Don'y apply for a job with Interpol - you wouldn't get pastt the first test  :}
Title: Re: "Answers on a postcard, please"
Post by: Martin (Admin) on June 10, 2011, 12:39:12 pm
Another question:

I was driving behind a tanker lorry yesterday... at the back, it had a ladder up to the tank top walkway....


on the ladder was the sign:  Not for tank top  access    -  -  what the hell else is the ladder for?!?!?!?
Title: Re: "Answers on a postcard, please"
Post by: Marks Model Bits on June 10, 2011, 12:47:42 pm
Tankers operate a very strict one way system...... The ladder at the back is for dismounting only. You gain access from the front of the tanker..

Mark.
Title: Re: "Answers on a postcard, please"
Post by: Roadrunner on June 10, 2011, 12:49:59 pm
''Ladder not for top access , it is for decoration only, we only put it there to keep the H&S prat's happy!''
Title: Re: "Answers on a postcard, please"
Post by: The long Build on June 10, 2011, 01:01:04 pm
nah its none of the above,  :}I've seen mad max 1-2-3 you put a load of barbed wire around it and set up a gun platform to shoot the baddy's... :} :} :} :police:
Title: Re: "Answers on a postcard, please"
Post by: Roadrunner on June 10, 2011, 01:10:31 pm
Talking of signs on backs of lorry's and such.. founds this, very fitting i though and it beats the ''if you can read this your to close!''

Title: Re: "Answers on a postcard, please"
Post by: funtimefrankie on June 10, 2011, 02:02:33 pm
Talking of signs on backs of lorry's and such.. founds this, very fitting i though and it beats the ''if you can read this your to close!''
Looking at the flag, I suppose it means a US soldier
Title: Re: "Answers on a postcard, please"
Post by: bikerdude666 on June 10, 2011, 03:56:09 pm
Looking at the flag, I suppose it means a US soldier

Well of course! We all know the yanks won the war for us!
Title: Re: "Answers on a postcard, please"
Post by: funtimefrankie on June 10, 2011, 05:03:01 pm
Well of course! We all know the yanks won the war for us!
which one  1917-18 or 1941-45 :-))
Title: Re: "Answers on a postcard, please"
Post by: unbuiltnautilus on June 10, 2011, 05:27:39 pm
1776 :-)
Title: Re: "Answers on a postcard, please"
Post by: Martin (Admin) on June 10, 2011, 05:45:12 pm
Another question:

I was driving behind a tanker lorry yesterday... at the back, it had a ladder up to the tank top walkway....


on the ladder was the sign:  Not for tank top  access    -  -  what the hell else is the ladder for?!?!?!?
Title: Re: "Answers on a postcard, please"
Post by: The long Build on June 10, 2011, 05:51:29 pm
which one  1917-18 or 1941-45 :-))

Both  :} :}
Title: Re: "Answers on a postcard, please"
Post by: nhp651 on June 10, 2011, 09:13:21 pm
Both  :} :}


i always thought that JOHN WAYNE won all the wars........or has my history teacher been telling me porkies. {-) {-) {-) {-) {-) {-) {-)
Title: Re: "Answers on a postcard, please"
Post by: The long Build on June 10, 2011, 09:25:56 pm
Well there is
John Wayne winning all the Declared Wars,

Rambo aka Sylvester stallone  (ps I have that Great Record " Rambo" on my Ipod   %% %%)  the Secret Wars

Steven Seagal aka Casey Ryback the global Terrosits

John McClane aka Bruce Willis all the battles when you happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time..

and then Ellen Ripley aka  Sigourney Weaver   fighting the sytem and kicking ....... with the Aliens.. 

oh and Arnie gets in there somewhere,

So thats all battles pretty well covered..
Title: Re: "Answers on a postcard, please"
Post by: RaaArtyGunner on June 10, 2011, 10:53:52 pm
Ya forgot Audie Murphy  O0 O0 O0

Bout da ladder, you can climb or hang on to da ladder but ya not allowed to get on da roof, also push bikes can ang on when goin up a ill

Title: Re: "Answers on a postcard, please"
Post by: funtimefrankie on June 11, 2011, 09:28:36 am
Another question:

I was driving behind a tanker lorry yesterday... at the back, it had a ladder up to the tank top walkway....


on the ladder was the sign:  Not for tank top  access    -  -  what the hell else is the ladder for?!?!?!?

All you need to know, and more here

http://www.hse.gov.uk/research/hsl_pdf/2005/hsl0504.pdf
Title: Re: "Answers on a postcard, please"
Post by: colin on June 11, 2011, 09:39:28 am
And in a emergency please read before acting to prevent other injuries what a load of. No wonder fuel costs so much rant over.

Colin
Title: Re: "Answers on a postcard, please"
Post by: ACTion on June 11, 2011, 06:50:29 pm
No..............what I actually said was "It's twenty to eight and we closed at five - what do you  reckon, mate? Cheerio!"
I get to keep all my Brownie points - yippee!
Now you lot can have this thread 'cos I ain't interested any more.
DM
Title: Re: "Answers on a postcard, please"
Post by: unbuiltnautilus on June 11, 2011, 07:50:19 pm
Why arn't you working. I want stuff aqnd I want it now..
Title: Re: "Answers on a postcard, please"
Post by: RaaArtyGunner on June 11, 2011, 11:07:26 pm
All you need to know, and more here

http://www.hse.gov.uk/research/hsl_pdf/2005/hsl0504.pdf

Bureaucracy gone mad 51 pages bout da tanker roof ate to see what happens and the cost with a real problem  <:( <:(
Title: Re: "Answers on a postcard, please"
Post by: john44 on June 25, 2011, 01:26:38 pm
Well there is
John Wayne winning all the Declared Wars,

Rambo aka Sylvester stallone  (ps I have that Great Record " Rambo" on my Ipod   %% %%)  the Secret Wars

Steven Seagal aka Casey Ryback the global Terrosits

John McClane aka Bruce Willis all the battles when you happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time..

and then Ellen Ripley aka  Sigourney Weaver   fighting the sytem and kicking ....... with the Aliens.. 

oh and Arnie gets in there somewhere,

So thats all battles pretty well covered..

well if Chuck Norris had turned up they could have all gone home.

john