Model Boat Mayhem - Forum

Mess Deck: General Section => Humour => Topic started by: Martin [Admin] on January 08, 2019, 03:28:35 PM

Title: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Martin [Admin] on January 08, 2019, 03:28:35 PM
 
What's the differance between Ignorance and Arrogance?









                                                I don't know and I don't care!     {-)


Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Netleyned on January 08, 2019, 04:30:08 PM
 :-)) :-)) :-)) {-) {-) {-)
Ned
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Onetenor on January 09, 2019, 10:45:51 PM
Paddy having intelligence test.
 Paddy if you were on a railway line with a train coming what would you do?.
 
Why Sorr Oi'd jump in me helicopter and fly away.
Oh and where would you get the helicopter from?
Well of course from the same place yew got the feckin train. Sorrr!!
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: meechingman on January 10, 2019, 10:26:11 AM
What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?


I don't know and I can't be bothered to look it up!
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Martin [Admin] on January 11, 2019, 07:29:45 PM
 :-)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Martin [Admin] on January 21, 2019, 10:13:50 PM
 
 
A man in Tesco's tries to buy half a cauliflower. The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole cauliflowers.. The man persists and asks to see the manager.
The boy says he'll ask his manager about it.
Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager,
'Some prat out there wants to buy half a cauliflower.'
As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, 'And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half.'
The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way.
Later the manager said to the boy, 'I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?'
' Glasgow , sir,' the boy replied. 'Well, why did you leave Glasgow?' the manager asked.
The boy said, 'Sir, there's nothing but whores and footballers up there.'
'Really?' said the manager. 'My wife is from Glasgow.'
'You're kidding?' replied the boy. 'Who'd she play for?'....

Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: tigertiger on January 21, 2019, 11:54:31 PM
Believe it or not, the first time I heard the first half of that joke, I was working in the green grocery department at my local Tesco.
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Martin [Admin] on January 23, 2019, 09:50:55 PM
(https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/images/2019/01/23/WokonPie.jpg) (https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/image/Jv4Ip)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: derekwarner on January 24, 2019, 02:42:40 AM
Who sang this famous song then Martin?....


Dioni Wok  :kiss: or Diannoie Pie? :-X


Derek
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: roycv on January 24, 2019, 11:23:39 AM
I was watching a review of the late Joan Rivers, plus high speed jokes.  One I did hear went like this.
"You never use my name when  we are making love"
Answer "I did not want to wake you up"
regards,
 Roy
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Ken G121 on January 24, 2019, 12:58:57 PM
The definition of experience
Knowing something is wrong because it was wrong last time you did it!
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Martin [Admin] on January 26, 2019, 01:54:57 PM
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Baldrick on January 27, 2019, 12:25:04 PM
Think it is below the 1.6mm legal tread depth  (driver 3.5 times over legal limit]
(https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/images/2019/01/27/Dx2ob5FWkAA0mwD.jpg) (https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/image/JH3pZ)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Tug Fanatic on January 27, 2019, 03:40:35 PM
Think it is below the 1.6mm legal tread depth  (driver 3.5 times over legal limit]

 (https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/image/JH3pZ)




How far would you need to drive on the wheel rim to wear it like that? A long way I would think.
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Netleyned on January 27, 2019, 03:43:58 PM
Blame it on the potholes
and the drivers state on the potman %% %% %% :police:
Ned
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: jaymac on January 27, 2019, 07:19:30 PM
Pothole abundance  has its good points  its easier to spot drunk drivers they're the only ones driving straight
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Martin [Admin] on February 09, 2019, 02:48:22 PM

Robin Hood was on his deathbed in his little house in Sherwood Forest. Maid Marian, Friar Tuck and the rest of the Merry Men gathered at his side.

"What more can we do for you, Robin?" they asked.

"Bring me a bow and arrow. I'll shoot into the forest and wherever the arrow lands, that is where you must bury me," he replied.

The bow duly arrived and Robin shot an arrow for the very last time.

And so, with heavy hearts and many tears, Robin's friends buried him in the ceiling.
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Colin Bishop on February 16, 2019, 06:43:40 PM
Probably an old chestnut but in my paper this week:
Viagra! It won't make you James Bond but it will make you Roger Moore.
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Martin [Admin] on February 16, 2019, 07:41:52 PM
 
 {-) {-)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Martin [Admin] on February 16, 2019, 07:51:10 PM
(https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/images/2019/02/16/I-in-Team.jpg) (https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/image/JuRGv)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Martin [Admin] on February 16, 2019, 07:51:19 PM

(https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/images/2019/02/16/Hard-Reset-1.jpg) (https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/image/Jusxf)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Martin [Admin] on February 21, 2019, 05:49:24 PM

What has 4 letters, sometimes 9 letters, but never has 5 letters?

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: jimmy2310 on February 21, 2019, 05:53:57 PM
What, sometimes and never.

  Jim
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: CGAux26 on February 23, 2019, 03:35:58 PM


RailRoad cRossing, look out foR the caRs.
Can you spell that without any R's?
























that.
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Martin [Admin] on February 27, 2019, 09:31:12 PM


Where can you find a woman like this?! .... or do I have to learn to play the piano first?   {:-{


 
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Landlocked on March 03, 2019, 12:15:55 AM
 :-)) :-)) :-))
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: meechingman on March 03, 2019, 02:22:23 PM
Never mind the cat and the piano, Martin. Learn to play the organ instead - and I do mean the musical kind and no, that isn't me! I never had the 'tache!  :-)

Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Martin [Admin] on March 03, 2019, 03:05:04 PM
 
Talking of musical instruments / organs...   https://youtu.be/1XWo4ufMkG4   {-)

Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: david48 on March 03, 2019, 11:11:01 PM

Where do you find them , I know interweb  . excellent.
David
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Baldrick on March 04, 2019, 03:26:31 AM
Mr Adams hopes his 12 grandchildren will enjoy the new family pet ,,, or perhaps the other way round !


(https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/images/2019/03/04/_105875022_mediaitem105875021.jpg) (https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/image/J0jmQ)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Martin [Admin] on March 21, 2019, 10:44:05 PM
(https://i.ibb.co/VqMMnkd/54364830-2630368030311880-5909580171265966080-n.jpg)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Martin [Admin] on March 23, 2019, 06:41:22 PM
(https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/images/2019/03/23/54414074_397211444451074_2582171588606558208_n.jpg) (https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/image/J9k23)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: jaymac on March 24, 2019, 09:50:26 AM
A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad." With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands... "Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you. I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am. But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it! Don't worry, Dad. I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren. Love, your son, Joshua.
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table. Call when it is safe for me to come home!
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Baldrick on March 26, 2019, 01:56:08 PM



(https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/images/2019/03/26/D2cwK_hWsAAFqSK.jpg) (https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/image/JCf5Z)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Martin [Admin] on March 31, 2019, 11:47:18 PM
(https://i.ibb.co/FqsST0b/Meme1.jpg)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: warspite on April 01, 2019, 09:29:18 AM
Martin - Sacrilege  {-)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: CGAux26 on April 01, 2019, 02:44:40 PM
Did anyone else notice signs that the Farmer Sam story is O-L-D?  Palm Pilot?  Dell computer?  That's OK-still funny.   {-) %%
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Netleyned on April 01, 2019, 03:05:37 PM
RayBans are pound/dollar shop glasses now.
Ned
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Taranis on April 01, 2019, 04:34:28 PM
I think they're Laybans these days Ned  {-)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Netleyned on April 01, 2019, 05:04:11 PM
RayBans LayBans oy vey :D :D
Ned
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Martin [Admin] on April 26, 2019, 10:54:15 PM

The MATRIX.... the $10 version!

 {-) {-) {-) {-) {-) {-) {-) {-)


Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: tigertiger on April 27, 2019, 02:07:11 AM
 :-)) :-)) :-))
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: plastic on April 27, 2019, 07:05:32 AM
That's a very clever parody.  :-))
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Taranis on May 21, 2019, 03:52:30 PM

(https://photos.smugmug.com/Boat-bits/i-zF6kRVh/0/e4c346ad/X3/57280445_2267985040132481_4122811018067836928_o-X3.jpg)


“Really!! That’s not what MY husband told me. He said they only cost a couple hundred”.
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: meechingman on May 21, 2019, 04:13:18 PM
Oh, Bu**er, my wife's just seen this!  %)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: dougal99 on May 21, 2019, 04:34:06 PM
.
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Martin [Admin] on May 25, 2019, 01:32:11 AM
(https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/images/2019/05/25/61480448_10214637406190799_7629358142568005632_n.jpg) (https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/image/JAAP1)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Martin [Admin] on June 11, 2019, 05:18:18 AM
(https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/images/2019/06/11/cooltext327055368341488.png) (https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/image/Jg6U5)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: warspite on June 11, 2019, 09:49:27 AM
(https://photos.smugmug.com/Boat-bits/i-zF6kRVh/0/e4c346ad/X3/57280445_2267985040132481_4122811018067836928_o-X3.jpg)


“Really!! That’s not what MY husband told me. He said they only cost a couple hundred”.
Yes I highly recommend the bigger model, it means he will definitely be in the shed and have less time to be with his floosy
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: warspite on June 11, 2019, 09:52:46 AM
Noticed the E's missing, card board sign and measur-e - literacy isn't as good as it used to be (and I failed English)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Taranis on June 11, 2019, 10:07:38 AM
Noticed the E's missing, card board sign and measur-e - literacy isn't as good as it used to be (and I failed English)


The point is the text is too big because they didn't measure correctly  {-)  hence the E missing cos it wote fit the chiselled stone  %%
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: roycv on June 11, 2019, 10:54:59 AM
I have always spelt floozie this way.  It is amazing how a good lady in many respects can become a floozie to another.
Roy
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: dougal99 on June 11, 2019, 12:47:09 PM

The point is the text is too big because they didn't measure correctly  {-)  hence the E missing cos it wote fit the chiselled stone  %%



He meant the E missing in Homeless in the picture of the man carrying the cardboard notice  :police:
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Taranis on June 11, 2019, 12:51:30 PM
 {-) :embarrassed:  Good call  :-))  as well as measur-e

Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: warspite on June 12, 2019, 03:07:55 PM
I told you I failed English 40+ years ago, so what do you expect  {-)  floosy indeed  %)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: roycv on June 12, 2019, 11:05:09 PM
Hi warspite I have just checked the spelling of the word and it seems we are both right.
Roy
Title: We are ALL Criminals !!!
Post by: canabus on June 26, 2019, 09:27:54 AM
This is photo proof !!!

Canabus
Title: Re: We are ALL Criminals !!!
Post by: Capt Podge on June 26, 2019, 09:46:34 AM
  {-) {-) {-)
... Love that one - cheered me up no end!
Regards,
Ray.



Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Martin [Admin] on July 05, 2019, 07:46:32 PM

Simple explanation of Brushless motors & controllers....


Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: TheLongBuild on July 05, 2019, 08:10:00 PM

Don't Tell me you struggled with that perfectly dumbed down explanation of the Turbo Encabulator...


Sounds like a normal day at the pond when 10 men ( Yeah I know Sexist  :kiss: ) stand around a smouldering ESC trying to work out why it blew up.. :} :} :} :}
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: RST on July 05, 2019, 08:51:10 PM
Rubbish: a slight adjustment of the Jeffries Tubes with a calibrated triple overhead manifold sprocket is all that was required to achieve correlation.  In any case, everyone knows the correct tap with a ballpein hammer at the exact point is all that's required to disassociate cavitation i.e not aeration which is an entirely different bubble.

I also experience alot of reluctance at work at the moment:  Can't work out whether its induced or implied though it certainly comes in phases and we have now converted to HV-3pH on my project.  We know lubrication is required, but can't work out the lubricity or how to interject what term at the precice instance is required for a clean release.  We have the discombigulative equation, but can't work out whether to apply at normal or orthogonal terms, and from which direction.  Our purchasing dept. is applying LD's on suppliers we secured initial PO's with so it's kind of important even though the delay is internal from us.  I suggested a "Spanish Firework" might help the situation.  Seemed a good idea at the time, i'ts given me a weeks breathing space -but can I find one on the market now?

Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: david48 on July 06, 2019, 01:03:00 AM
RS  did one a few years back but thy did not sell as thy were all pink I think the people who had the long stand made them
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Martin [Admin] on July 13, 2019, 04:22:29 AM
(https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/images/2019/07/13/55444901_2372340396109671_283116238333280256_n.jpg) (https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/image/Jl4l1)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: TailUK on July 16, 2019, 04:56:04 PM
I'll get me coat...
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Martin [Admin] on July 16, 2019, 07:29:22 PM
 
 {-) {-)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: roycv on July 31, 2019, 09:33:38 AM
 The Prime Minister was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher knowing he was a product of Balliol college and his frequent extravagant use of the English language, asked the Prime Minister if he would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy". So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a "tragedy".
 
 One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field & a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a 'tragedy'" "No," says our P.M., "that would be an accident."
 
 A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy." "I'm afraid not," explained the Prime Minister "That's what we would call a great loss."
 
 The room went silent. No other children volunteered. The P.M. searched  the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of  “tragedy?"
 
 Finally, at the back of the room, a small boy raised his hand...In a quiet voice he said: "If the aeroplane carrying you was struck by a "friendly fire" missile & blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy. "Fantastic!" exclaimed the P.M. "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"
 
 "Well," says the boy "It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be an accident either".
 
 
 
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: jaymac on August 10, 2019, 08:52:49 AM
The passenger aircraft was fully loaded and in the air after takeoff when the announcement came over the loudspeaker:“Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve been working on a fully automatic piloting system for years that doesn’t need a flight crew and are proud to announce that it has been perfected.You are the first passengers to fly controlled by software only with nobody in the cockpit. We are proud that during all our testing there has never been a mistake, mistake, mistake, mistake, mistake, …”
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Colin Bishop on August 10, 2019, 10:54:50 AM
Saw this on another Forum...

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly-tailored black suit.

The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the blonde mortician a blank check and she says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.

She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I' m very grateful. How much did you sp end?' To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.

'There's no charge,' she says.

'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.

'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'




'So I just switched the heads.'
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Netleyned on August 10, 2019, 11:00:57 AM
 {-) {-) {-) {-) :-))


Ned (Currently residing Cardiac Ward Diana Princess of Wales
Hospital Grimsby) Not quite ready for head switching :D
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Colin Bishop on August 10, 2019, 11:33:30 AM
Get well soon Ned, hope all is going well.
Colin
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: derekwarner on August 10, 2019, 12:02:32 PM
I would never joke about such things  >>:-( ....but if this is true Ned........our best wishes from Australia...... O0  ......... Derek
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Netleyned on August 10, 2019, 12:20:01 PM
Not a joke, Derek, just waiting for a slot for an Angiogram and possible Angioplasty.
Thanks for the good wishes and thanks to you Colin.
Ned
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Taranis on August 10, 2019, 01:46:53 PM
Very Best wishes Ned
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Martin [Admin] on August 10, 2019, 02:54:03 PM

'So I just switched the heads.'


That's terrible!   {-) {-) {-) {-)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Martin [Admin] on August 10, 2019, 02:55:44 PM

Ned (Currently residing Cardiac Ward Diana Princess of Wales
Hospital Grimsby) Not quite ready for head switching :D


All the best Neddy!

 i'll send flowers and grapes for tea time!    ok2
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: roycv on August 10, 2019, 03:51:38 PM
All the best from Herts as well.
Best regards
 Roy
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: jaymac on August 10, 2019, 03:53:37 PM
Nothing new under the sun
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Martin [Admin] on August 14, 2019, 02:21:40 AM
(https://scontent.fbhx2-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/68483223_633586950464230_103304340109787136_n.jpg?_nc_cat=101&_nc_oc=AQkeJ5eFJnCaNeNo1alw_d3ipk3quJW2jout5oL_dQb6s9AP-p8K3iLyBB1a9wwdP9Y&_nc_ht=scontent.fbhx2-1.fna&oh=d72db0959006398a77169d7ab63d6e09&oe=5DE3F54E)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: petermun on August 14, 2019, 08:15:11 AM
Must have been a politician.
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: jaymac on August 21, 2019, 04:06:05 PM
So True
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Colin Bishop on August 30, 2019, 12:50:32 PM
Report in today's paper concerning the two new RN carriers.

The first vessel is affectionately known as 'Big Lizzie'.

The second, which also has two prominent control towers, is apparently now being referred to a 'Big Ears'.

Colin
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Baldrick on August 30, 2019, 07:19:31 PM



   Well our last decent one was always known as LUSTY by Officers, crew and embarkees



Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: RST on August 31, 2019, 10:53:13 PM
...is that not the Late Heather O' Rourke who bless her soul died at 12 yrs old?  Obvously the image was "adjusted" but clearly the face and fringe are the same?
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: john44 on September 15, 2019, 01:36:52 PM
Two football mad mates John& Mick were sitting in the pub having a after match pint.
John said to Mick I wonder if they play football in heaven?
Mick said back well I,ll tell you what let's make a promise, whichever one of us dies first will
come back and tell the other.
Well the years went on and sadly Mick passed away and true to his word he came back and
appeared to John who said blimey Mick what are you doing here we buried you last week?
Mick said don't you remember the promise we made about weather they played football
In heaven we would come back with an answer.
John said yes of course I do.
Mick said,well John I have good news, and I have bad news.
John said tell me the good news first.
Mick said yes they do play football in heaven.
The pitch is just like Wembley with St. Paul's team at one end.
and St,David team at the other, with God as the referee.
John said that's good then.
what's the bad news?
Mick said, you are playing this Saturday


John
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Martin [Admin] on September 16, 2019, 01:47:19 PM
(https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/images/2019/09/16/69897588_2391252774303908_4466958608533291008_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: dougal99 on September 16, 2019, 03:31:00 PM
That's the trouble with paint ranges; never got the colour you want  >>:-( >>:-( <*< <*< <:( <:(
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Martin [Admin] on September 18, 2019, 11:17:47 PM
(https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/images/2019/09/18/70496493_10158776891776978_7738248877920223232_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Martin [Admin] on September 18, 2019, 11:19:31 PM
(https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/images/2019/09/18/70235357_10162545410845271_4190697399997431808_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Martin [Admin] on October 09, 2019, 09:22:17 PM
(https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/images/2019/10/09/funny-yearbook-quotes-300-58a1654c02d58__605.jpg) (https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/image/JpBdo)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Martin [Admin] on October 22, 2019, 07:00:31 PM

 

(https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/images/2019/10/22/72969322_2223246121113056_2181818424018075648_n.jpg) (https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/image/JraV3)
https://www.facebook.com/BucketListRacing/photos/a.690435494394134/2223246117779723/?type=3&theater
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Colin Bishop on October 22, 2019, 07:02:00 PM
There mist be easier ways to apply whipped cream...
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Baldrick on October 23, 2019, 08:16:02 AM



  Soon to disappear up it's own effluent.
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Martin [Admin] on November 05, 2019, 01:24:11 AM
 
.... from Facebook ...




(https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/images/2019/11/05/72578361_10217867192689627_8681598952262336512_o.jpg) (https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/image/JdmmD)
Look at the size of my new television next to my dishwasher.
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: CaptainJoshie on November 05, 2019, 10:15:34 AM
She said to me, before I bought it, “Over my Dead Body”. Many true word spoken in jest!  %) :embarrassed: .


John.
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: jaymac on November 05, 2019, 10:41:42 AM
No surprise she fainted that's just the  Remote
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: TailUK on November 05, 2019, 11:41:09 AM

.... from Facebook ...



Look at the size of my new television next to my dishwasher.

The Police report expressed astonishment,  "We didn't think it was possible for this young lady to beat a man to death, especially with a Flat screen as big as that!".
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Martin [Admin] on November 08, 2019, 09:52:19 PM
(https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/images/2019/11/08/Kit1.jpg) (https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/image/JopfX)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: CaptainJoshie on November 08, 2019, 10:44:01 PM
Me me me , I’ll have a shot at building it 🔫  :-)) .
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: canabus on November 09, 2019, 08:49:14 AM
Hi Joshie

Hope ewe do a BANG UP job of it !!!

Canabus
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2019
Post by: Bob K on November 09, 2019, 11:42:27 AM
I cannot quite fathom out what needs 0.45 calibre holes punched out?
Must be tough material for a tool of that power  %%