Model Boat Mayhem
Mess Deck: General Section => Chit-Chat => Topic started by: Plastic - RIP on October 20, 2020, 01:23:03 pm
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Had a bit of bad news today - finally got all the results back from the biopsies I've been having after being rushed to hospital at the end of August.
It appears I have cancer that has quietly spread everywhere and I've maybe only 6 months left.
I've already donated most of my boating stuff to the model club and Klunk has kindly agreed to dispose of all that for me. I'm now just sorting out what's left for the next consignment off to sunny Luton.
This is not something I was expecting at the age of 54.
Still, that's 180 days that I'm not going to waste. :-))
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Sorry to hear that, that is terrible news. I don't know what else to say....
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Well that is sobering news. {:-{
We'll all try to make your stay on Mayhem as enjoyable as possible.
Martin - we're all here for you James.
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That is very sad news. I am sure that is news we all dread to hear but we are with you.
Stan.
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So to sad to hear your sad news you will be missed by all of use hear and family hope you have lots of nice good things plan and you get to do every thing on your bucket list.
Regards Howard.
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For once in my life speechless, so sorry to hear the news.
Bob
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So to sad to hear your sad news you will be missed by all of use hear and family hope you have lots of nice good things plan and you get to do every thing on your bucket list.
Regards Howard.
We're planning to do as much as is possible - already booked the Mosquito museum and Hendon with friends for later this week. I'm going to visit my brother in Lincoln and do a cream-tea and ride in a bubblecar in the bubblecar museum up there. I'll be walking with wolves with my daughter too. The problem is I don't know the shape of the deterioration graph - but one thing is for sure, I'm not going to get any healthier than I am right now. :(
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Horrendous news, and as others have said not much I can really say..
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As said privately To Plastic and his wife, my deepest condolences to you and your family, Its hard to say what we feel, let alone grasp what you and your family are going through. Its a privilege to know you, and have enjoyed my talks with you, and for supporting the Hemel club in its start up. As always, if you need my help, just message me.
Klunk
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Thanks everyone. Pete - I've got another bunch of stuff ready for collection for whenever's good for you.
I'm getting lots of things in place - a friend with a helicopter is taking me to the helicopter museum in Weston Super Mare next week (weather dependent) - we can land in their car park. :-))
I'm not going to be having a funeral - no point - all of my friends don't know each other so it would be awkward - and I'll be in the box - so I'll be meeting up with all my friends for a beer and chat recollecting the good times before I die. O0
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Wow, I haven't the words, save to say I'm so sorry John.
Joe.
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Your strength and pragmatic outlook are to be applauded, our deepest sympathy and best wishes for your journey.
Andy & Jacs
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Very sad news, do everything you and your wife have in your bucket list and enjoy the remaining time together. Make as many great memories as you can.
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Not happy reading :(( but it seems like you have planed to get the best out of the 180 days, doing things with family and friends leaving good memories for those who will be left grieving.
Stay strongCarsten (just a bit younger at the age of 52)
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Not happy reading :(( but it seems like you have planed to get the best out of the 180 days, doing things with family and friends leaving good memories for those who will be left grieving.
Stay strongCarsten (just a bit younger at the age of 52)
I actually feel really guilty that I won't be around look after my wife & daughter. My only option is to create as many good memories for all those around me - realistically, my life is forfeit - everything is irrelevant for me - my path is clear and non-negotiable - my purpose is now to make my passing as painless / fun as possible for my loved ones.
I'm not afraid of death - just terrified of the final dying bit - it could be so traumatic and out of control - for everyone. {:-{
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I have no words but stay strong.
Enjoy your time with family
Our (mayhems) thoughts are with you
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Wow I’m lost for words too...stay strong!
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You’re one hell of a guy get the bucket list made out and go for it.
Stan.
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So sorry to hear this, I echo everyone else by saying that I simply don’t have the words.
I wish you and your family the very best wishes and hope you can do everything you want to do on the list.
Stay strong!
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Make sure you keep one boat.
Where there is life, there is hope........
Good luck
Nord.
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Family first and foremost, i tilt my hat to you sir. {:-{ <:(
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I actually feel really guilty that I won't be around look after my wife & daughter. My only option is to create as many good memories for all those around me - realistically, my life is forfeit - everything is irrelevant for me - my path is clear and non-negotiable - my purpose is now to make my passing as painless / fun as possible for my loved ones.
I'm not afraid of death - just terrified of the final dying bit - it could be so traumatic and out of control - for everyone. {:-{
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Don't feel guilty you have the privileged to tell them that you love them and you can enjoy the last days with them. not every one get that.
Why do I write that well I almost lost my wife to a blood clot in her brain 16 years ago and she was 35 at the time, it was not possible to communicate with her at all, saying you love her ect. and you did not know what was going on, and believe me those 11min to the ENR with +100mph was scary ( I took her my self) so we celebrate every day that we can say good morning to each other, as we do not know what tomorrow brings.
Take care
Carsten
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It's almost impossible to write any suitable words to such a post.
You're a remarkable man to be able to accept such a fate in the way in which you are. My hat's off to you and your family and I wish you well in your remaining time.
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I've just read this, and I'm lost for words. Your attitude is a wonderful lesson. So sorry for your family.
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I fully sympathise with you Plastic. It is the thought of leaving those you love behind that is the worst of the diagnosis. I have been fighting prostate cancer for 20 years and have gone through all the normal treatments. At least I have been able to come to terms with the end but am not looking forward to it and leaving my family behind.
I have just started an experimental trial that might give me a little bit longer but I started it for what it might lead to in the future for others.
Do your 'Bucket' list and enjoy the time as best you can.
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p.s. If anyone wants to talk about Prostate cancer, send me a private message.
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Make sure you keep one boat.
Where there is life, there is hope........
Good luck
Nord.
I totally agree - I'm keeping my old faithful - a Revell Flower Class - it just keeps working and has no value so I'll keep it just in case. :-))
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I fully sympathise with you Plastic. It is the thought of leaving those you love behind that is the worst of the diagnosis. I have been fighting prostate cancer for 20 years and have gone through all the normal treatments. At least I have been able to come to terms with the end but am not looking forward to it and leaving my family behind.
I have just started an experimental trial that might give me a little bit longer but I started it for what it might lead to in the future for others.
Do your 'Bucket' list and enjoy the time as best you can.
Best wishes for a long life - keep fighting - I am - I want to see my daughter's next birthday - and maybe my wife's too later in the year.
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Don't feel guilty you have the privileged to tell them that you love them and you can enjoy the last days with them. not every one get that.
Why do I write that well I almost lost my wife to a blood clot in her brain 16 years ago and she was 35 at the time, it was not possible to communicate with her at all, saying you love her ect. and you did not know what was going on, and believe me those 11min to the ENR with +100mph was scary ( I took her my self) so we celebrate every day that we can say good morning to each other, as we do not know what tomorrow brings.
Take care
Carsten
I wish you both well. There's nothing like a brush with death to put all the small stuff into perspective. It's all about family and loved ones. Everything else is just 'noise'.
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Even though we have never met I am sorry to hear your news. I admire your attitude immensely.
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Our condolences from the warspite crew, when the time comes, I hope I have as much courage to face what you and your family will go through.
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Thanks, everyone for your thoughts.
I'm concentrating on 'dying well' and maximising the good memories and closure for all our friends and family. They will be left behind with all the grief and upset as I step into the next world.
This is such a strange place to be in. At the moment, I feel mostly ok but things can go wrong at any time. It's quite stressful monitoring my body for signs of the beginning of the 'sun dive' (Hitchhiker's).
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This is the third time I have started a reply. Just don't know what to say. You sound so calm and together, I admire your fortitude enormously. I wish you joy of your adventures in the months ahead and comfort in the love of your family.
Greg
(weird - we've done exactly the same number of posts to Mayhem!)
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Thankyou.
I'm the fittest I'm going to be right now. I'm not going to get any fitter - so crying and going to pieces would waste valuable time. It's real, practical action that's required now. There will be plenty of time for tears when I deteriorate to the point at which I can't do what needs to be done any more. I just hope that's about 2 seconds before I pass away. :-))
I've listed a load of things on ebay this morning - all my prized toys and possessions that I've been collecting that I'm never going to get time to play with. I want to leave as little mess and hassle for my wife to have to deal with. Next will be a skip to get rid of the mountains of life's accumulations of 'crap' that 'will come in handy some day' - but never did. %)
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Respect....
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I've listed a load of things on ebay this morning - all my prized toys and possessions that I've been collecting that I'm never going to get time to play with. I want to leave as little mess and hassle for my wife to have to deal with. Next will be a skip to get rid of the mountains of life's accumulations of 'crap' that 'will come in handy some day' - but never did. %)
Sounded very familiar, what is your ebay name ?.
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Sounded very familiar, what is your ebay name ?.
I'd rather not identify myself to that much detail on an open forum. ;)
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Fair point.
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I'd rather not identify myself to that much detail on an open forum.
Plastic, you have shared your desperately sad situation with us and, like everyone else, I salute and admire your fortitude. I just hope that I will be so strong minded if and when the time comes.
By sharing your EBay ID here either publically or in response to PMs it might help maximise funds to assist yourself and your family in the coming months.
Colin
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Plastic, you have shared your desperately sad situation with us and, like everyone else, I salute and admire your fortitude. I just hope that I will be so strong minded if and when the time comes.
By sharing your EBay ID here either publically or in response to PMs it might help maximise funds to assist yourself and your family in the coming months.
Colin
Thanks I know what you're saying re: ebay but I'd still rather not put the information on here. It's mainly old synths and studio equipment if anyone is into that sort of thing.
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Please don't ever give up the fight. I am a survivor (so far) of cancer so I know some of what you're going through you and you family need support and please don't be afraid to ask for it.
Take care of you and you loved ones.
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Like many others, I too am lost for words to say to you in this dreadful situation. At 54, you are the same age as our youngest son, so that really puts it into perspective for me. Your attitude is inspiring, and all I can say is, keep on fighting, and enjoy your remaining time to the utmost.
Peter.
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From Dave Jones ( Stavros ), via Facebook...
Could you please convey my sadness to plastic at his sad sad news gutted for him especially at his age it makes my problems insignificant and pathetic...
Dave
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Thanks guys- I'm really touched by your support during this terrible time. I had a CT and PET scan yesterday to be the baseline for any chemo they can offer to measure the rate of the cancer growth. From the symptoms I'm having, I'm scared that it's not going to be a long drawn out experience. I'm genuinely terrified of 'the end'. I've seen such horrors in hospices and the terrible deaths that I don't know how to deal with that. I'm so upset by the thought of my wife and daughter having to cope without me. It's so unfair.
Please say if this thread is too morbid or inappropriate for this site - I don't want to upset anyone.
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We're your friends Plastic, we're here to share bad times as well as good! :-)
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I second Martin we are with you all the way.
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Thanks guys- I'm really touched by your support during this terrible time. I had a CT and PET scan yesterday to be the baseline for any chemo they can offer to measure the rate of the cancer growth. From the symptoms I'm having, I'm scared that it's not going to be a long drawn out experience. I'm genuinely terrified of 'the end'. I've seen such horrors in hospices and the terrible deaths that I don't know how to deal with that. I'm so upset by the thought of my wife and daughter having to cope without me. It's so unfair.
Please say if this thread is too morbid or inappropriate for this site - I don't want to upset anyone.
Don't worry. You need support and we are all more than willing to offer it.
It is wonderful that you are being so positive and, although I am sure that there are very dark moments, I hope that you can maintain that attitude. The only difference between you and everyone else is that you have a timetable and that can be used as an opportunity.
There is something that you can do which is very positive for your loved ones. You can make sure that your family know everything that they need to know. I am sure that most of these things are already in place or will occur to you anyway but here goes. I obviously do not know your circumstances, and I am not asking, but you can make sure that any transition of responsibility for money and other issues goes smoothly. There are obvious things like your will but don't forget all those things that are in your name alone and which you loved ones will find difficult to access until probate is resolved. This can be particularly true with banks and insurance companies. I have also heard of cases where loved ones couldn't find records to know what was going on. Not being able to find and recognise all your savings account records could be a major problem. Does you wife know your online bank/savings accounts, power company, computer, phone and phone company, email etc passwords? Does she know that persons living alone pay reduced Council Tax but that they need to ask for it?
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Don't worry. You need support and we are all more than willing to offer it.
It is wonderful that you are being so positive and, although I am sure that there are very dark moments, I hope that you can maintain that attitude. The only difference between you and everyone else is that you have a timetable and that can be used as an opportunity.
There is something that you can do which is very positive for your loved ones. You can make sure that your family know everything that they need to know. I am sure that most of these things are already in place or will occur to you anyway but here goes. I obviously do not know your circumstances, and I am not asking, but you can make sure that any transition of responsibility for money and other issues goes smoothly. There are obvious things like your will but don't forget all those things that are in your name alone and which you loved ones will find difficult to access until probate is resolved. This can be particularly true with banks and insurance companies. I have also heard of cases where loved ones couldn't find records to know what was going on. Not being able to find and recognise all your savings account records could be a major problem. Does you wife know your online bank/savings accounts, power company, computer, phone and phone company, email etc passwords? Does she know that persons living alone pay reduced Council Tax but that they need to ask for it?
We're going through all that now - changing logins, contact numbers, beneficiaries and anything else we can think of. We have no secrets so she'll have access to my computer and e-mail to make sure any loose ends are tied up.
We've been together since school. I've known her since the age of 11 and we started going out at 16. we've been together just over 38 years. We were married in 1990 so that's 30 years. Moving forward will be so difficult for her - we've literally grown up together.
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That's good.
I know how you feel as I share your concerns about how my wife would cope both emotionally and practically. I met my wife at school and we have now been married nearly 50 years. We have no secrets (well I don't anyway) but we each have our areas of effective responsibility and we don't necessarily know everything about what the other one does nor how to do it. To give you two linked example.
I have long been interested in investing in shares which my wife knows little about & really isn't very interested except an inclination to panic on bad days. We have discussed how she would simplify it if anything happened to me so she could sleep at night.
I keep our financial records on a Spreadsheet. It came as a surprise to me that she hadn't realised that a spreadsheet can have multiple pages. If we hadn't discussed it I think that all the previous years pages would have been effectively lost.
I am not trying to worry you but rather encouraging you to think quite broadly and to spend time sharing, and if necessary explaining, your duties.
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For continuity have you considered putting your wife as a joint account holder?
Bob
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My wife runs a local business and has lots of contacts with people who can do things - even all the trades - so I'm confident that she can manage in a crisis. We're already joint accounts on most things. She's good at dealing with people so she does most of the admin stuff and I tend to do all the practical things around the house - but I know she'll sell this place and downsize to a little bungalow as soon as possible. She's already said she won't be able to be here without me - she'll be looking for me in my usual places. We were originally intending to cash up and move together to the country within the next year or so - but now living a remote life won't be practical/possible/desirable for her alone.
I have been building a 2-storey extension on the side of the house - I got it to the point of ready for felt & battens before I collapsed. She has a builder friend who is on the case and has going to finish all the work on the house - the extension is already tiled & waterproof and he's practically finished outside. He'll be moving to the inside work maybe week after next. I've written a detailed list of all the jobs that need doing for him to work through as fast as possible to get the house ready for selling.
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Sounds like you have both thought this through. That is surely a very good start.
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It's a very tough subject but time is of the essence. It's just very hard keeping it together.
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Hi Plastic Trust your trip down Weston goes well You'll likely be flying over me I'll keep an eye out.I took this shot a good few years back on my way back from the museum. If you do come this route Weston Should be seen in the distance.At that position the area below is at 300' level (Depending on the Tide :} as we have the worlds 2nd highest tide) and you will be over the Police HQ Chinooks land there also this is where Portishead Radio was based any old sea dogs should remember that. Hope the weather holds for you and Safe Journey
Jaymac
(https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/images/2020/10/21/Above-Portishead-Return-from-Weston-Heli-Mus.jpg)
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Cheers - it's all dependent of the weather! We're doing the Bubble Car museum in Boston next Saturday and we're meeting friends for lunch tomorrow and on Monday :-) We did the Mosquito Museum today. :-) I've got a couple of hospital/hospice things during the week. {:-{
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Tell people the Bubble Car Museum is half way between New York and Boston. That usually causes some confusion.
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Tell people the Bubble Car Museum is half way between New York and Boston. That usually causes some confusion.
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