Model Boat Mayhem

Mess Deck: General Section => Humour => Topic started by: Martin [Admin] on December 31, 2020, 10:25:49 pm

Title: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Martin [Admin] on December 31, 2020, 10:25:49 pm
(https://i.ibb.co/VNHR4dY/135113954-10157841286466104-2168185710996888234-n.jpg)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: jaymac on December 31, 2020, 10:37:23 pm
(https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/images/2020/12/31/goodbye.jpg)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: derekwarner on December 31, 2020, 10:41:46 pm
Lyrics courtesy of Sir Paul........Registered by Northern Songs [the repurchased Company] and recorded @ Apple Studios........... you say  %)

Derek
----------------



Martin......should this thread be renamed .....Jokes & Humor 2021?...or do we have a duplication started by TT... :-X 


.....best leave the Moderators to authentic time clock readings to figure out who dum wot whn  {-)


Martin - 01.01.2021 @ 10:25:49
TT......... when I look for the time clock.....the posting ...it is gone   :embarrassed:  magic?
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Martin [Admin] on December 31, 2020, 11:34:06 pm
(https://i.ibb.co/vXWGrbM/drunk-drinking-1024x576.jpg) (https://ibb.co/tL6tNS1)
Title: 2021 humour
Post by: warspite on January 01, 2021, 11:23:32 am
Is jokes and humour banned this year? as the topic is locked, if not, then to the last picture (merge if opened again),


Jared puts his hand up and says ' does this mean I can stop drinking bleach now Ivanka'
Title: Re: 2021 humour
Post by: jaymac on January 01, 2021, 07:37:15 pm
(https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/images/2021/01/01/trump-2.jpg)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Martin [Admin] on January 04, 2021, 11:43:52 am
 
(https://i.ibb.co/fvtmDbD/136074867-1786348631528892-1475279864231168072-n.jpg) (https://imgbb.com/)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Martin [Admin] on January 10, 2021, 05:36:16 pm

On seeing this guys collection, I don't feel so bad now!



(https://i.ibb.co/9Tf3VRd/137092063-1348236622194557-6343516398903081851-o.jpg) (https://ibb.co/k8r69YP)

Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Martin [Admin] on January 10, 2021, 08:39:09 pm
 
Unlocked.....  :police:
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: warspite on January 11, 2021, 01:07:03 pm
FAKE NEWS


he is just stood in a model shop  {-)  there a doubles, a collector would only have singles
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: KitS on January 11, 2021, 02:00:11 pm
Looks like my loft.................... :-))
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: roycv on January 11, 2021, 04:49:20 pm
Hi all it's not funny really but I have just logged into the NHS to book a vaccine jab.  I am of a certain age.  My options were an obscure chemist 7 miles away then to Stevenage then Exxon centre London and after that Birmingham and Bristol all of 96 miles away!  I shall see what tomorrow brings.

Roy
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: jaymac on January 11, 2021, 04:58:00 pm
Well I should have been having my  second tomorrow and after travelling 2 miles for the first one %)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: tsenecal on January 11, 2021, 05:51:53 pm

(https://i.ibb.co/fvtmDbD/136074867-1786348631528892-1475279864231168072-n.jpg) (https://imgbb.com/)


does the 16 amp replacement include the cheese (i presume its a cheese wedge wrapped in foil), or just the foil wrapper?
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Martin [Admin] on January 11, 2021, 06:03:23 pm
 
The cheese acts as a fire suppressor....?!
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: jaymac on January 12, 2021, 10:21:27 am
(https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/images/2021/01/12/smash.jpg)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Martin [Admin] on January 12, 2021, 11:59:41 am
(https://i.ibb.co/wp5k2Nh/138498550-3884493731563424-7271402974394515449-n.jpg) (https://ibb.co/WBmhRWv)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: tsenecal on January 12, 2021, 03:38:50 pm
as to the 350 amp with visual and audio auto-alert...

https://go.discovery.com/tv-shows/mythbusters/videos/gun-cartridge-fuse-minimyth/
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: malcolmfrary on January 15, 2021, 09:49:15 am
as to the 350 amp with visual and audio auto-alert...

https://go.discovery.com/tv-shows/mythbusters/videos/gun-cartridge-fuse-minimyth/ (https://go.discovery.com/tv-shows/mythbusters/videos/gun-cartridge-fuse-minimyth/)
A pity that's US only.  I think I remember see it broadcast and thinking that they missed a bit of basic physics.  A live bullet being used as a fuse and heating in a manky holder might heat enough to set itself off, but it should not be the pellet that travels - that is heavy, the unrestrained brass bit should be the one that moves first.  Or bits of it.
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: tica on January 15, 2021, 03:45:31 pm
A pity that's US only. 
Nothing a VPN client can't fix, and funny to see Adam childish smile and energy  {-)
Title: Covid Mascot
Post by: jaymac on February 20, 2021, 12:16:39 am
(https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/images/2021/02/20/Mascot2.jpg)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: warspite on February 20, 2021, 11:06:56 am
 :-))
Title: BigFoot
Post by: jaymac on February 22, 2021, 10:42:42 am
(https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/images/2021/02/22/Bigfoot.jpg)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Martin [Admin] on February 22, 2021, 02:47:11 pm
 
(https://i.ibb.co/7rNCsKb/152751406-10159263897129136-1976270977553947589-n.jpg) (https://ibb.co/WBp5mfs)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: warspite on February 24, 2021, 03:06:02 pm
Bit early isn't it for pirate jokes, thought it was september  :D
Title: New Arrivals
Post by: canabus on February 25, 2021, 02:00:12 am
New Arrivals!!!
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Martin [Admin] on February 25, 2021, 12:17:32 pm
 
(https://i.ibb.co/qJWQbFH/153894112-254840489578180-4660097190554562499-n.jpg) (https://ibb.co/1zdWHJC)
Title: The Final Selfie
Post by: jaymac on February 28, 2021, 10:17:33 pm
(https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/images/2021/02/28/Lastie.jpg)
Title: What if
Post by: radiojoe on March 03, 2021, 09:50:55 am
Our exercise walk yesterday took us though Walpole Park it was a beautiful day and we sat a while to catch our breath, not a hint of wind and the two lagoons were like sheets of glass, I thought if I had my puffer with me I could tie a fishing line to my Tx and tell Mr Plod my puffer was a Bait Boat and I could do the sea trials  %% {-) {-)




Joe
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: jaymac on March 05, 2021, 10:32:24 am
(https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/images/2021/03/05/Anchor.jpg)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Martin [Admin] on March 06, 2021, 02:24:44 am
 
At last a new speed boat that I could probably!

This 6-Person ........ Speed Boat Is Yours for Less Than $250 

https://altdriver.com/country/for-less-than-250-this-life-size-inflatable-speed-boat-is-yours/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=agora&utm_term=ramerica&utm_campaign=ramerica&fbclid=IwAR1RQc34Zsz2_leTX8kj-TA1oE6oLlnl-dFqz_KhScGALF2DSHlFY3C4WcY


(https://altdriver.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/03/inflatable-speed-boat-e1614793116780.jpg)

Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Baldrick on March 06, 2021, 08:44:32 am



   Take the rubber bung out and watch it GO!    O0
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: jaymac on March 06, 2021, 11:01:35 am
(https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/images/2021/03/06/Helium.jpg)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Martin [Admin] on March 06, 2021, 11:25:57 am
 
     {-)   {-)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Martin [Admin] on March 06, 2021, 03:49:38 pm
(https://i.ibb.co/7Nr4Q5j/157418975-10161019681284488-1152993172284469182-n.jpg) (https://ibb.co/84PcbpN)

Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Martin [Admin] on March 06, 2021, 03:49:46 pm
(https://i.ibb.co/BB6TNvq/156755586-4625007040847053-1710824023152076528-n.jpg) (https://ibb.co/nj1QC4z)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Capt Podge on March 06, 2021, 04:06:10 pm
Both of the above - most appropriate!  {-) {-) {-)


Ray.
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: jaymac on March 06, 2021, 08:12:17 pm
(https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/images/2021/03/06/bottles2.jpg)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Capt Podge on March 06, 2021, 08:27:29 pm
Those two have got a lot of bottle(s)


 Groan :-X


Ray.
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: BrianB6 on March 07, 2021, 04:26:32 am
 Town names
The list's makers said English was "famous for some of the most confusing pronunciations on earth".
'How do you say?': The Top 10 'most difficult' British place names

·  Frome, Somerset, England
·  Ballachulish, Highland, Scotland
·  Godmanchester, Cambridgeshire, England
·  Omagh, County Tyrone, Northern Ireland
·  Woolfardisworthy, Devon, England
·  Beaulieu, Hampshire, England
·  Bicester, Oxfordshire, England
·  Ynysybwl, Cwm Clydach, Wales
·  Quernmore, Lancashire, England
·  Rampisham, Dorset, England
 
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: BrianB6 on March 07, 2021, 04:29:51 am
1.   Frome - "Froom"
2.   Ballachulish - "Ball - a - hoolish"
3.   Godmanchester - 'Godmunchester' (Gumster has also been offered as an alternative, but now little-used, pronunciation)
4.   Omagh - "Oh-ma"
5.   Woolfardisworthy - "Woolzery"
6.   Beaulieu - "Bew-lee"
7.   Bicester - "Bister"
8.   Ynysybwl - "An-is-abull"
9.   Quernmore - "Kwor-mer"
10.   Rampisham - "Ran-som"
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: BrianB6 on March 07, 2021, 04:41:59 am
(https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/images/2021/03/06/bottles2.jpg)
They must be headed to the Darwin Beer Can Regatta
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: jaymac on March 08, 2021, 12:56:01 pm
(https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/images/2021/03/08/Lookout041fd8a59322307b.jpg)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: CJ1 on March 08, 2021, 01:27:59 pm
1.   Frome - "Froom"
2.   Ballachulish - "Ball - a - hoolish"
3.   Godmanchester - 'Godmunchester' (Gumster has also been offered as an alternative, but now little-used, pronunciation)
4.   Omagh - "Oh-ma"
5.   Woolfardisworthy - "Woolzery"
6.   Beaulieu - "Bew-lee"
7.   Bicester - "Bister"
8.   Ynysybwl - "An-is-abull"
9.   Quernmore - "Kwor-mer"
10.   Rampisham - "Ran-som"


Cogenhoe - "Coog-no"
I was born there!
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: jaymac on March 08, 2021, 03:35:38 pm
I thought it was pronounced ''Jokes and Humour''
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: BrianB6 on March 11, 2021, 12:09:30 am
Hospital meals.  >>:-(
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: jaymac on March 12, 2021, 07:07:45 pm
(https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/images/2021/03/12/flight.jpg)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Martin [Admin] on March 15, 2021, 11:05:26 am

 From Facebook ....


A giant ship's engine broke down and no one could repair it, so they hired a Mechanical Engineer with over 40 years of experience.
He inspected the engine very carefully, from top to bottom. After seeing everything, the engineer unloaded the bag and pulled out a small hammer.
He knocked something gently. Soon, the engine came to life again. The engine has been fixed!
7 days later the engineer mentioned that the total cost of repairing the giant ship was £10,000 to the ship owner.
"What?!" said the owner.
"You did almost nothing. Give us a detailed bill."
The answer is simple:
Tap with a hammer: £2
Know where to knock and how much to knock: £9,998
The importance of appreciating one's expertise and experience...coz those are the results of struggles, experiments and even tears.
If I do a job in 30 minutes it's because I spent 10 years learning how to do that in 30 minutes. You owe me for the years, not the minutes.
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: jaymac on March 15, 2021, 10:26:03 pm
Trouble is some think that applies to the models that they are selling :D
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Martin [Admin] on March 17, 2021, 11:02:02 am
 
True... ?!

A giant ship's engine broke down and no one could repair it, so they hired a Mechanical Engineer with over 40 years of experience.
He inspected the engine very carefully, from top to bottom. After seeing everything, the engineer unloaded the bag and pulled out a small hammer.
He knocked something gently. Soon, the engine came to life again. The engine has been fixed!
7 days later the engineer mentioned that the total cost of repairing the giant ship was £10,000 to the ship owner.
"What?!" said the owner.
"You did almost nothing. Give us a detailed bill."
The answer is simple:
Tap with a hammer: £2
Know where to knock and how much to knock: £9,998
The importance of appreciating one's expertise and experience...coz those are the results of struggles, experiments and even tears.
If I do a job in 30 minutes it's because I spent 10 years learning how to do that in 30 minutes. You owe me for the years, not the minutes.

 
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: JimG on March 17, 2021, 11:31:04 am

True... ?!

One of the classic urban legends. This story has been told in many versions , others involve large industrial machinery but all have the same old normally retired engineer curing the fault with a simple fix and charging a fortune for the repair.
Jim
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Martin [Admin] on March 17, 2021, 12:05:59 pm
One of the classic urban legends. This story has been told in many versions , others involve large industrial machinery but all have the same old normally retired engineer curing the fault with a simple fix and charging a fortune for the repair.
Jim

... pity.   {:-{
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: dougal99 on March 17, 2021, 01:21:29 pm
When I first heard it, it was a plumber mending a dripping tap.  O0
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: roycv on March 17, 2021, 01:25:32 pm
Hi all, about 1973 I would occasionally deliver my son to Junior school on my way to work.  I had a Morris Traveller company car and it needed a new battery.  There was also a dodgy + terminal connection with a 'fix' of some aluminium foil wrapped around the terminal and the connection screwed back down.  I would stop, walk my son in and then come back to drive off.

 Most times the poor connection would not pass the starting current as I had only driven less than a mile so not much  charge gone in.  So I kept a hammer next to me in the car.  Out I would get and up with the bonnet and make a single hammer blow on the battery terminal, lock bonnet down and Hey Presto she would start.
I thought nothing of it until my wife retold the story some years later and said how I was much admired by the young mums looking on!  If only I had known!!!!!

 But my wife said I would have got big headed so had kept quiet.
Roy
 
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: SteamboatPhil on March 17, 2021, 05:25:46 pm
                   
Quote
When I first heard it, it was a plumber mending a dripping tap.


                       With a hammer !!!!  {-) {-) {-) {-)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: malcolmfrary on March 18, 2021, 09:23:11 am
                   

                       With a hammer !!!!  {-) {-) {-) {-)
Its knowing where to hit it.  And, for a true craftsman, how hard.
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Martin [Admin] on March 19, 2021, 09:37:16 am
 
 (https://i.ibb.co/NKQ58vg/162272958-10158174140277934-5912824352866098552-n.jpg) (https://ibb.co/KWRdMPc)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: tonyH on March 21, 2021, 06:11:30 pm
Saw this and Thought of You All!
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Martin [Admin] on March 23, 2021, 09:48:12 pm
(https://i.ibb.co/9t8TRs2/162191148-10223368952507426-795181248296275539-n.jpg) (https://ibb.co/PQmhBw4)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Capt Podge on March 23, 2021, 10:10:15 pm
 {-) {-) {-)


Spot on!


(I wonder how many of them carry an equity card)


Ray.
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Martin [Admin] on April 01, 2021, 03:20:44 pm
 
 
 
(https://i.ibb.co/NTZjVCZ/April-1.jpg) (https://imgbb.com/)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: TheLongBuild on April 01, 2021, 06:47:05 pm
HMS Brexit to rule the waves! Sea Viper missile-equipped warship will protect our shores (msn.com) (https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/world/hms-brexit-to-rule-the-waves-sea-viper-missile-equipped-warship-will-protect-our-shores/ar-BB1fbdmf?ocid=msedgntp)    {-) {-)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: jaymac on April 01, 2021, 07:11:09 pm
But it ended at Mid day Martin
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Martin [Admin] on April 01, 2021, 08:28:29 pm
But it ended at Mid day Martin

   
.... late again.......  <:(
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: jaymac on April 02, 2021, 07:44:16 pm
Why do the keep on about the Road Map surely The road to De-Mask-Us would be better
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Colin Bishop on April 02, 2021, 08:08:15 pm
Quote
Why do the keep on about the Road Map surely The road to De-Mask-Us would be better

Because:

a. They (HMG) have made too many mistakes in the past so they are being super cautious.
b. Although infections and everything else are going down in the UK they are still afraid that a Covid variant will undo all the good work.
c. The situation in most of Europe is still pretty horrendous and we don't want it to b****r up the situation over here from people bringing variants back from holiday as what happened last Autumn.

Basically HMG are trading off foreign holidays against trying to get the UK back to something near normal from midsummer onwards. I suspect a lot of people will go along with this if it means thay can go into a pub, restaurant or shop without having to wear a mask.

I don't think the situation will really stabilise until everyone has had their second jab. (and maybe a booster against variants as well).

In the meantime we all live in hope.

Colin
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: jaymac on April 02, 2021, 10:39:05 pm
Humour Colin
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Colin Bishop on April 02, 2021, 11:33:33 pm
Yes missed that! Never mind. Maybe a bit close to news reports.  ok2

Colin
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: jaymac on April 02, 2021, 11:42:16 pm
 :-))
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Martin [Admin] on April 03, 2021, 07:21:12 pm
 
 
(https://i.ibb.co/rHNqfkW/168861877-10217328211469071-5205466695770892487-n.jpg) (https://ibb.co/m4gdFJx)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Taranis on April 03, 2021, 07:22:43 pm
 {-)   My first born's 38th birthday
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: dougal99 on April 03, 2021, 09:49:30 pm
Martin that's the 4th of March unless you're over the channel or the Atlantic. Was brexit for nothing?  :police: {-) {-) {-) {-) {-)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Taranis on April 03, 2021, 09:56:30 pm
(https://photos.smugmug.com/Boat-bits/i-NdtJcHF/0/089dfd08/X2/EF3782F0-0377-4592-B1D3-0A409634CA93-X2.jpg)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Taranis on April 03, 2021, 10:00:38 pm
I was thinking Tom ?
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Martin [Admin] on April 03, 2021, 10:26:40 pm
 
 CND!    %)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: radiojoe on April 04, 2021, 08:30:06 am
He looks like a Willie to me  %)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: BrianB6 on April 04, 2021, 09:11:00 am
I'll raise you three.  Feral mother gave birth to 2 kittens under our house.  We managed to catch them and are trying to tame them.  Mum is rather a handful.
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Martin [Admin] on April 11, 2021, 02:17:28 am
(https://i.ibb.co/hLzMpZS/169856086-10159320726669939-7104463172788835155-n.jpg) (https://ibb.co/n6J0hnF)

Don't kid yourself.... YOUR wife is never going to be this excited about model boats.... unless she or you are selling them! 😆
 
 
 
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: warspite on April 11, 2021, 12:43:44 pm
AH, now are you going to decorate the kitchen or do I drop this?
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: jaymac on April 14, 2021, 10:25:38 am

One day a father, on his way home from work, suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, 'How much for one of those Barbies in the display window?'

The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95'.

The amazed father asks: 'It's what? Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?'

Salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: 'Sir, Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Truck, Ken's House, Ken's Fishing Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Dog, Ken's Computer, and one of Ken's Friends.
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: derekwarner on April 14, 2021, 11:34:44 am
So simple, so stupid, but so absolutely true  :-)) {-) :P  .......... Derek
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Taranis on April 14, 2021, 01:38:59 pm
Divorced Ken is available from Amazon without the packaging for 99p
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: dougal99 on May 03, 2021, 09:33:27 pm
And that's how the fight started officer

Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Taranis on May 04, 2021, 07:47:57 am
Happy Star Wars day  :-)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: radiojoe on May 04, 2021, 08:21:27 am
And that's how the fight started officer


I'll teach you to ###!!!   In my garden  >>:-(


Joe
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: T888 on May 04, 2021, 08:42:11 am
Trust me you wouldn’t fill a thing !
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: roycv on May 04, 2021, 09:24:01 am
May the fourth be with you
Roy
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: derekwarner on May 04, 2021, 09:56:36 am

A few of our Kangas were thirsty   O0  ......so checked out the specials at the Bottle-O.......... :-X  Derek


https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9537281/Bizarre-moment-three-kangaroos-hop-drive-bottle-shop-Sussex-Inlet-NSW.html?ns_mchannel=rss&ns_campaign=1490&ito=1490 (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9537281/Bizarre-moment-three-kangaroos-hop-drive-bottle-shop-Sussex-Inlet-NSW.html?ns_mchannel=rss&ns_campaign=1490&ito=1490)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Martin [Admin] on May 04, 2021, 09:58:27 am
(https://heavy.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/pjimage-4.jpg?quality=65&strip=all)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: warspite on May 04, 2021, 10:25:45 am
"I sense a disturbance master"


"Well that will teach you to have the extra spicy burrito for lunch padaone or should that be packing one"


"and if you cannot pass it - use the force"


May the fourth to every one
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Martin [Admin] on May 09, 2021, 06:31:58 pm
(https://i.ibb.co/xLR6BLV/184420431-10221939545737839-7899316167702180455-n.jpg)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: dougal99 on May 17, 2021, 09:24:34 pm
(https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/images/2021/05/17/news.jpg)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: tigertiger on May 18, 2021, 02:01:23 am
Looking at life through rosé tinted glasses
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Martin [Admin] on May 18, 2021, 03:32:44 am
 
Found my first Smartphone in the attic the other day....

(https://i.postimg.cc/RqvwLsV6/Antique-smartphone.png) (https://postimg.cc/RqvwLsV6)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: BrianB6 on May 18, 2021, 05:27:25 am
So Kodak have finally decided to enter the mobile phone market.    :embarrassed:
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: warspite on May 18, 2021, 11:01:51 am
The new smart phone from kodak developements has still one drawback to contend with - how to receive text messages and display them, though they are struggling with reducing in size the ticktape machine
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Martin [Admin] on May 18, 2021, 09:34:29 pm

(https://i.postimg.cc/cCx8VrYr/Wake-up.jpg)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: derekwarner on May 18, 2021, 10:51:39 pm
eh?.......I don't get it! >>:-(
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: david48 on May 18, 2021, 11:05:42 pm
I think its a reality check that he is never going to build the too many boats he has .Like you I wondered at first  what is it all about !!
David
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Taranis on May 18, 2021, 11:06:37 pm
A reality check  :-))  Funny  {-)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Capt Podge on May 18, 2021, 11:14:59 pm
The current equivalent is 'wake up and smell the coffee'  :-)


Ray.
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: derekwarner on May 18, 2021, 11:27:41 pm
I understand the commonly offered salutation [this time] by the attractive young Woman, however still don't get it being a wake up call relating to sleep or a person in bed


Like ...wake up stupid!?....... O0  ...could be 1 or 2 those here  %%


.... Derek
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Baldrick on May 19, 2021, 08:46:28 am
Be happy if you got just one of them 100% complete
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: jaymac on May 19, 2021, 10:52:10 am
(https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/images/2021/05/19/Ice.jpg)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Martin [Admin] on May 22, 2021, 10:01:48 pm
 
(https://i.postimg.cc/9F0rTWy5/Drugs.jpg)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Martin [Admin] on May 24, 2021, 08:27:13 pm
(https://i.ibb.co/HnBNHY3/190160826-10217578195438514-4565857056679966711-n.jpg)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Martin [Admin] on May 28, 2021, 04:18:55 pm
 
(https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/images/2021/05/28/192524720_4519907961394778_5282591501526995168_n.jpg) (https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/image/alnAG)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Martin [Admin] on June 10, 2021, 09:38:19 pm

(https://i.postimg.cc/N5Gkt3bY/197246427-4337954216248578-76725637203008023-n.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/N5Gkt3bY)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Capt Podge on June 10, 2021, 09:45:35 pm
 {-) {-) {-)


I've not heard that one before - nice one Martin  :-))


Ray.
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: jaymac on June 13, 2021, 04:58:59 pm

I'm getting totally fed up with people
whinging the prices of things;
£1.25 for Tea, £1.75 for Coffee,
£2 for a slice of cake & £2.50 for car parking.
Any mope complaints and I will honestly
 stop inviting my friends around to my house!


 
(https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/images/2021/06/13/prices2.jpg)

Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: radiojoe on June 14, 2021, 08:23:29 am
 {-) {-)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: jaymac on June 14, 2021, 10:50:21 am
Thank you Martin :-))
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: dougal99 on June 14, 2021, 12:14:02 pm
So I don't need new glasses. Phew  :P
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: jaymac on June 14, 2021, 12:59:09 pm
Agreed the original was  blurred but if you can't read it you have a problem
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: mogurnda on June 15, 2021, 11:40:03 am
(https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.15752-0/p160x160/201899963_1081104289083101_5355567664559897795_n.png?_nc_cat=106&ccb=1-3&_nc_sid=aee45a&_nc_ohc=-H9IeQNDoEsAX8TjWYi&_nc_ad=z-m&_nc_cid=0&_nc_ht=scontent.xx&tp=30&oh=836e276defb7db16fa14d33e3c10efe6&oe=60CC8312)

England v Scotland

Friday 18th June 2021

This may be of interest to one of you.
A friend of mine has two tickets in a corporate box
for England v Scotland. He paid £300 each,
but he didn't realise when he bought them that it
was going to be the same day as his Covid 19 postponed wedding.
If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place.

It's at Basildon Registry Office, at 2.30pm.
The bride's name is Moira, she's 5'4", about 8 stone, has her own income and is a really good cook.
Let me know.

😂😂😂😂🤪

Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: SteamboatPhil on June 15, 2021, 12:29:45 pm
 {-) {-) {-) {-) 
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: warspite on June 15, 2021, 01:09:55 pm
I assume he is a king then, in a recent repeat of QI, with Stephen Fry, he said that one of the kings of yore, had a stand in, to consummate the marriage they only had to touch bare legs in bed, bit difficult from the corporate box wouldn't you say  {-)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Martin [Admin] on June 15, 2021, 03:58:38 pm
(https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/images/2021/06/15/Asda.jpg) (https://www.modelboatmayhemimages.co.uk/image/a4y7S)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: SteamboatPhil on June 15, 2021, 08:41:55 pm
You too !..... you should never have changed the flower shirt Martin......my green shirt now on e bay (after my shift) {-) {-) {-) {-) {-)
Title: Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
Post by: Martin [Admin] on June 15, 2021, 09:41:26 pm
 
    {-)    :-))