Hello all.
It is I, I have returned, although only briefly. My advice is, if at all possible, avoid Swindon, as it is a foul and wretched hole. Oh.. and avoid Poland as well, as that's not much better but beer is cheaper - on the downside they seem to be pushing the concentration camps a bit too much as a tourist attraction.
Anywho, I'm going to make a counter argument to these points:
1) Pirates: Fair enough, if you capture a load of chaps with guns and knifes actually robbing a ship, then all well and good and hand chopped off all around. Give one to the captain as a souvenir as well I say. However, actually catching pirates "in the act" is a very rare occurance - so virtually all captures will be on "suspicion of piracy". So lets turn it around a bit. 8 britions get captured by the somali navy on "suspcion of piracy" or "They were looking at that ship in a funny way". sentence is passed - hands chopped of the next morning ( although that there's no hands been chopped off for a while in Somalia - one of my chaps at work is a somali and I asked him ). Lets colour the waters even more, and say that they were off duty Royal Navy personel. What, I wonder, would the reaction of this board be in those circunstances? I am willing to bet sizable amounts of money that it would be different than the reactions above.
2) Asylum seekers: I have two guys who work for me who have been through the asylum process. One is the somali guy above - he got out of Somalia after is parents were killed by a militia who were hunting for him - why? becuase he acted as a volenteer medic when some African Union troops - who were in the country quelling the civil war - got injured. Anyone care to guess what their plans were for him?
How much money - in cash - do you think Asulym seekers get? Approx £40/month. They get food vouchers, clothing vouchers which are only really taken at second hand clothing shops, and they get to join a nightly lottery for getting a place to sleep. And if your feeling like protesting this point, I thouighly reccommend that you put down your copy of the Sun or the Daily Mail, open your minds a little, and go and see what *actually* goes on with the guys seeking asulym.
3) "Hang them up by the yard arm"
Anyone care to Answer the question: "What connects the last 4 people hanged in the UK"?
Anyone??? No....
Answer "They have all be proved, beyond all reasonable doubt, to be innocent subseqeunt to their hangings"
If hanging gets your blood going, if you really do get your kicks from the thought of a nasty bad guy twitching and spasming on the end of a rope, then fine. I don't really like the idea, but I can see why others do. But heres the thing:
We're really not very good at it.
If someone has done something foul, then fair play, string them up. I guess you could probably even make a profit if you sold the right to stream the video over the internet. But seeing as we're 4/4 on the "oops - looks like we've topped the wrong chap - I wonder what we should do now " stakes I view it as a risky business all round. But perhaps I'm just a soppy liberal?
4) "Ah... when I was a lad everything was lovely....the kids we get today....I blame it on the parents/do gooders/government etc etc"
When I was a kid, I lived in terror of my old man. But I still did a whole load of stupid stuff. I even demolished an entire building once ( long story....) Knowing that my old man would knock me accross the room if he found out didn't EVER stop me, it just made me better at hiding it.
Equally, my dad himself was a right ruffian in "the good old days" - and he had the scars all accross his back from where my grandad used to flog him with the buckle end of his belt. He ended up a thourghly civilised chap - letters after his name, respectable job, member of the PTA. Turning into "A good'un" had nothing to do with the belt from my grandfather, and certainly nothing to do with my old mans fists.
I reckon that a combination of ambition and women did. For both of us. Or maybe just women. Certainly I grew up becuase I wanted a good enough job so that I could date the better looking girls, who had higher expectations. And then I got into a vicious circle where I find myself married to Mrs Steve, being a grown up and sometimes even reading the Finacial Times. I'm *SO* grown up I can usually do the whole of the Times cryptic Crossword in less than a day. And my pop smacking me about a bit didn't do anything to help that. But an exceptionally lovely girl called Jess who wore tight tops and demanded dinner at a half decent resturant *did*.
5) "an eye for an eye...."
from Bluebird:
"Murder = murder"
"Theft = flogging"
Not exactly an eye for an eye surely? More like "Steal my TV and I'll see to it that your skin is torn off your body, you'll get blood and skin infections all over your body and you'll run a 1:3 risk of rupturing a kidney (becuase the musilm lads who dole out the floggings generally don't get around to handing out kidney protection, and do tend to aim a bit low ( amnesty international have a nice research paper on the after effects if your interested)... you just can't get the staff can you...)
Would it not be fairer just to go and get your TV back, and steal *HIS* TV as well? Then you have two TV's and your feeling all smug becuase you enacted the Toral laws set down in some old book 4,000 years ago as is good and proper.
Mind you, the same chapter in that book that you got your "An eye for an eye...." quote from also says that the punishment for planting two different crops in the same field is to be stoned to death. The chapter before it says that it's perfectly acceptable to sell your daughter ( but not your son ) into slavery. Now, maybe it's just me, but I reckon that *someone* must have produced something just a smidgeon more up to date by now....
6) Mandatory sentencing: I'm guessing this is put in a joke. becuase if it's not, you desperately need to read what it has done to the US. 40% of total tax increased linked to paying for the prisons for a start. But the bit about the gangs, the drugs, the suicide rates and all that other good stuff is also worth a look as well....
I have to go and pack a bag now to go to Poland again.
ttfn
Steve
p.s: keel Hauling: words escape me...