Subject: Scotland
In Celebration of St.Andrews, Day Rabbie Burns 250
anniversiary this year and all things Scottish.....
LET'S SAY..
"HERE'S TAE US, WHA'S LIKE US,
DAMN FEW AND THEY'RE AW DEID!"
a.. The average Englishman in the home he calls his
castle, slips into his national costume ~ a shabby raincoat
~ patented by chemist Charles Macintosh from Glasgow,
Scotland.
b.. En route to his office he strides along the
English lane, surfaced by John Macadam of Ayr, Scotland.
c.. He drives an English car fitted with tyres
invented by John Boyd Dunlop of Dreghorn, Scotland.
At the office he receives the mail bearing adhesive
stamps invented by John Chalmers of Dundee, Scotland.
d.. During the day he uses the telephone invented
by Alexander Graham Bell, born in Edinburgh, Scotland.
e.. At home in the evening his daughter pedals her
bicycle invented by Kirkpatrick Macmillan, Blacksmith of
Dumfries, Scotland.
f.. He watches the news on T.V., an invention of
John Logie Baird of Helensburgh, Scotland and hears an item
about the U.S. Navy, founded by John Paul Jones of Kirkbean,
Scotland.
g.. He has by now been reminded too much of
Scotland and in desperation he picks up the Bible, only to
find that the first man mentioned in the good book is a Scot
~ King James VI ~ who authorised its translation.
Nowhere can an Englishman turn to escape the
ingenuity of the Scots.
h.. He could take to drink but the Scots make the
best in the world.
i.. He could take a rifle and end it all but the
breech~loading rifle was invented by Captain Patrick
Ferguson of Pitfours, Scotland.
j.. If he escaped death, he could find himself on
an operating table injected with penicillin, discovered by
Alexander Fleming of Darvel, Scotland, and given an
anaesthetic, discovered by Sir James Young Simpson of
Bathgate, Scotland.
k.. Out of the anaesthetic he would find no comfort
in learning that he was as safe as the Bank of England,
founded by William Paterson of Dumfries, Scotland.
l.. Perhaps his only remaining hope would be to get
a transfusion of guid Scottish blood which would entitle him
to ask
"WHA'S LIKE US"