Hi all
A tale of woe – and laughter. So, sit oneself down in front of the screen with a suitable dram and a cloth to wipe the spillages up you may spill from the laughter.
Are we sitting comfortably then?
The tale commenceth. Oh yee who complain about Telewest Tiscali broadband and talk talk etc., next time you have a problem sit and ponder this:
Bluebird’s household rely on BT for their internet connection and landline. Bluebird’s son uses the internet connection regularly for X-box 360 live games. So, it has to be up to spec for speed – sadly, the speed of the connection for the internet has never been any good. Numerous complaints to BT saying we are paying for 8 mgb line speed has never been achievable. But, we do expect more than 0.5 mgb line speed – just a little faster than dial up. So a month ago when Bluebird was working in the garage, making a mess with the new hull. Son of Bluebird comes to the garage door – ‘Dad the internet is off completely’ and, when Ive tried the house phone that is dead. Well, son, we will have to get in touch with BT.
So, using dad’s mobile phone which has never seen daylight for years and very rarely switched on, rings BT helpline or tried to – Ello Mr Bluebird – you now have 3 options
Option 1, to pay a bill, Option 2, to report a fault and Option 3 to start over again
I pressed option 2 – then I have another 3 options : So I eventually got in touch with the BT – somewhere out in the Indian Ocean I believe. Hello Sir, I would like to report a fault, Ive lost all connections – internet and telephone landline – its all dead, is there a reason for this – after all I know Ive paid me bill. So you haven’t cut me off from the system for that!
I need to report me landline is dead. Reply was – hello Mr Bluebird; would it not be cheaper for you to ring us back using your landline rather than using your mobile, because using a mobile is a high rate number. Excuse me….I would ring you with me landline, but it doesn’t work, so Im ringing you on me mobile. Put your mobile down – I will try and ring you on your landline – go on then mate, give it a try. Fifteen minutes pass and my wife’s mobile rang – it was BT – Mrs Bluebird, there appears to be a fault on your landline – we are trying to get in touch with your husband. So my wife gives them my mobile number. My wife rings me on my mobile saying expect a call from BT.
I didn’t get the phone call – Mrs Bluebird got it - again!!! – hello Mr Bluebird, no you have rang Mrs Bluebird – here is Mr Bluebird’s number – so I eventually got the phonecall from BT again.
There appears to be a fault on your landline, but the fault appears to be in inside your property. Would you go and disconnect everything from the phone socket ….. blab la bla – and then only plug one working phone into the socket which we had already done.
I did this to satisfy the engineer. Then after you have done this – ring me on your landline.
Hello, its still dead….I said …. From my mobile!!!!!!!! Have you any extensions plugged in – I said NO.
What I would like you to do, is unscrew the front of the BT socket – and I said STOP the BT socket belongs to you not me – if I tamper with BT’s wires etc., I would have to foot the bill – that is why you have BT engineers to set faults. Oh, if we sent a BT engineer out, it is going to cost you 130 pounds – Bluebird now getting a bit annoyed. Said….look I would like an engineer to come out asap and put this problem right.
Oh sorry Sir, the earliest we will get one out – is just under 2 weeks. Said that is no good to me – I want engineer asap or I am going to consider changing my supplier. Voice at other end says leave it with me – phone went dead – another phonecall from Mrs Bluebird – Ive had BT on the phone have we a problem on thelandline. My mobile rang again – hello again they tell me you have a problem with your landline.
So….repeat all of what has been said above, literally word for word.
Bluebird really losing temper now.
Said Look since we have had this internet connection come phone line we have been promised such and such a land speed and its no better than dial up……paying for such and such a line speed. Etc. and we aren’t getting the service.
So, the guy says hold on – I will ring you back – which he does do
AND THIS IS TRUE MY FRIENDS – to increase your linespeed – would you please move your property closer to a telephone exchange. I informed him I live in a brick built dwelling – with no wheels attached – and at this point Bluebird really steams up. Puts the phone down. Talks with son, right we will change our supplier.
Right o, plans afoot – rings BT and gets through the termination department to terminate contract with BT – talked with good guy there – explained all that had been said to us and that I wished to terminate contract. To which he replied I had still 8 months left of my original contract which I would have to pay up front to get termination of contract – I then said I would go to court to fight it due to the fact that in my eyes they hadn’t kept their side of the contract. So, already to be terminated –left it at that. Mrs Bluebird comes home from work, sitting having our tea, Mrs mobile rings – one of the top managers of BT north-East. Long conversation with Mrs Bluebird – very apologetic for way we been treat – would we give them 3 days to get an engineer to the house because with it being the week- end they only deal with emergency callouts – hospitals GPs etc., so I reluctantly agreed. 8a.m. Monday morning, you guessed it , not 1, but 3 BT vans outside the door – into the housewith all this fancy test equipment – you name it they had it. Where was the fault.
300 metres down the road – in the BT junction box.
Back of the box had rotted away and it had shorted across the terminals.
Back on line within 15 mins.
2 weeks later, after literally loads and loads of calls from BT asking if I was happy with service – another engineer calls out – more test equipment – line speed adjusted a little bit.
Last Thursday knock on the door – all singing and dancing new router/hub system.
Im that sick the new hub is still at the door waiting to be set up
frightened to tamper with the old one in case I lose the line again.
aye
Bluebird