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Author Topic: Jokes & Humour - 2021  (Read 23043 times)

jaymac

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
« Reply #250 on: October 04, 2021, 10:41:23 am »

drill.png
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Martin [Admin]

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
« Reply #251 on: October 04, 2021, 11:23:26 am »

 
    {-)
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"This is my firm opinion, but what do I know?!"    -   Mayhem FaceBook Group!

dougal99

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
« Reply #252 on: October 04, 2021, 12:11:08 pm »



x.
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Don't Assume Check

Kevin.Hutch

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
« Reply #253 on: October 04, 2021, 09:33:49 pm »

Hear Hear  :-))  and it gets quicker after 70.
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Kevin Hutchison
Be part of the solution not part of the problem

Tug Hercules Fireman

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
« Reply #254 on: October 05, 2021, 12:32:54 am »

They used to say, as You get older, time vanishes;
It does not vanish;
It just vapourizes.
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Tug Hercules
Fireman Rick

“Ideals are like the Stars; We never reach them, but like
Mariners of the Sea, we chart our course by them.”

Martin [Admin]

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
« Reply #255 on: October 05, 2021, 08:57:30 pm »

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Martin [Admin]

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
« Reply #256 on: October 05, 2021, 09:06:45 pm »

 

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mogurnda

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
« Reply #257 on: October 05, 2021, 10:52:49 pm »

Martin....
Its a few miles over from Jeopardy...you know where all the jobs are in..........

David
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jaymac

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
« Reply #258 on: October 07, 2021, 07:30:00 pm »

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jaymac

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If Cars were built like computers
« Reply #259 on: October 16, 2021, 11:51:37 am »


At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."
 In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating (supposedly by Mr. Welch himself): "Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?"

 
                                           Then others added these comments:


1. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.

2. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.

3. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to stop and fail and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you would accept this too.

4. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought Car95 or CarNT . But then you would have to buy more seats.

5. Apple would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.

6 Apple car owners would get expensive Microsoft uprgrades to their cars, which would make their cars run much slower.

7. The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car fault" warning light.

8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

9. The airbag system would say are you sure? before going off.


10. If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.


11. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.


12. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither needed nor wanted them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become the target of investigation by the Justice Department.

13. Every time GM would introduce a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
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