My wife Carol and I enjoy the freedom of good banter, even to the point of insulting one another. To other people's ears, it must sound as though we hate and disrespect each other as we hurl insults back and forth. For example, she is doing something upstairs:
I say "Where's the camera"?...silence, I say it again a bit louder and get ...
"I didn't hear you, what did you say"?
I will yell back "For goodness sake you cloth eared bint, have you gone ruddy deaf or wot , where's the ruddy camera"?
I don't know, you had it last!
No I didn't you had it last week when we went out in the car!
The camera is flat!
You just said you didn't know where it was!
Well I think it is flat anyway.
I'm not asking you if it's flat, I want to know where it is.
You will need to charge it up.
I will if you can tell me where it is.
I don't know.
But you usally leave it on the chair up there in the bedroom, isn't it there?
I don't know.
Well is there any faint possibility you could just turn your head slightly and look please, you are in there after all.
.......Silence...
Well......WELL??
I don't know.
Now life is too short to wait around whilst she thinks about it so, exasperated I sigh heavily and tear up the stairs and into the room.
The camera is half hidden by some bit of clothing but is easily spotted on the chair. Grabbing it, I wave it at her... "Wots this then, you said you didn't know where it was"
I didn't!
You could have looked when I asked.
All you had to do was come and see for yourself!
For goodness sake woman, my hair was dark when i started this conversation, wots up, you thick or summat or just plain deaf or blind or wot!!
AAAh shaddup!
You shaddup!
Dopey bint.!!
Miserable ole git!
Knickers to you
Up yors!!
Kiss me wench!
Fancy a cup of tea darling.
Yeah, good idea.
er em, what did you do with the charger?
I dunno!
Right... forget it, make the ruddy tea Wench, I will do it myself!
Now, all this to-ing and fro-ing and insulting each other is just pure banter and God help any poor soul within earshot. Sometimes we forget we have company and their faces are a picture when i get downstairs and find them sitting there in silence.
We have now joined the modern trend so commonly found in the youth of today and sometimes, when the 'argument' doesn't go someones way it will be responded to with ... WOTEVAUGH or MINGAAR!
Sometimes we behave like kids instead of two old gits!