Yer ave got it all wrong PMK, she is fully up to speed on shed deliveries and is allowed across the threshold to deliver sustainance which she does on a regular basis. She is NOT allowed to wander, fiddle or ask too many questions otherwise she may suss that I am not working when I should be. Remember, the female of the species has a 'tidy up and 'move it' gene which if allowed to get loose in a mans workshop would wreak havoc with the finely tuned and delicate order of things. This place has stuff everywhere, but I know where it is, what it is and when I need it (most times). That would all go to the wall if a female were allowed free range in here. Also, I would not be able to use colourful language when the moment presented itself.
Look at it this little scenario,
you open up the end of your thumb on the bandsaw, without looking at it, you immediately clutch it with your free hand, covering it up. You know it aint gonna be good but you don't really want to see it, then the pain hits! You look at it... it really isn't good at all , in fact it's quite nasty and now it becomes even more painful now you've seen it!
With a female present:
"Oh bother, look what I've done on the bandsaw, silly Billy, now I won't be able to function properly for a week, what a shame, oh dear, never mind"
Without female:
AAAArrgh"!!! ..." You f******g B*******D"! "Bo*****cks"! " Po*y bleedin saw, oh for f***K sake"! (rushes off indoors for plaster after doing tough guy thing with the superglue to stem the flow of gallons of blood.)
If a female is present when you reach the house, she will immediately pipe up..." Oh dear, what have you done"? You say " Oh, just cut myself on the saw dear". She then comes out with those immortal words " Come here dear, get it under the cold tap and wash it out"! God, that is so feminine, have they any idea how much more it will hurt if you get it anywhere near a cold tap!!
"No, it's ok darling, it's just a nick, can you get me a plaster please"?
"Here let me see it, I will stick the plaster on for you" she says.
You grab the plaster and scarper cos you don't want em fussing round you, the throbbing in your thumb is unbearable and the superglue has given up under the pressure and flow of blood from the wound.
You go with more superglue after licking it clean, on with the plaster and back on with the job in hand till the plaster gives up half way through the day whereupon you discard it and proceed to get the wound completely filthy.... But the job goes out the door on time and the wound eventually heals and all is right with the world cos you dealt with it and kept the female out of the frame.
The following day you go round with a rag and wipe the blood off the wall as you dripped it onto the lathe chuck whilst it was spinning.
No No PMK... keep em out at all costs.
Having said that, if there were a medal for the ideal woman, I would bestow it upon her for what she has to put up with, she's one in a million!