I say!
Chill-out concoction? Are you daring to imply that I suggest she should lace her cakes with forbidden herbs, and I that I be the culprit that should supply the aforementioned herbies? How dare you, Sire! That's libellous, that is. Speaking as a law-abiding pillock pillar of the community, I am fully aware that any such shenanigans would be tantamount to breaking H.M's laws. I know all this for a fact because my mate Chalkie said that that's what the judge said. It's noughty to possess funny herbs and even naughtier to send them thru the post - so there.
No, I was meaning more along the lines of.......
A couple years ago, some old girl in her seventies, around your neck of the woods, busted for baking and supplying cannibis cakes for all her friends. So they bunged her in the chokey, and all the old folk went mental, because, with their only source of cake now serving time, they all started whinging that their aches and pains came back..... etc.
So if it's THAT good!
It got me wondering.......
What if you and C were to invite the cake lady round for tea one night?
After you've all had a little chomp, sit down and wait for the effects to kick in. As soon as you notice C starting to giggle, or start talking @ 900 wpm, and/or breaking wind while at the same time looking as though she really, really, really couldn't gve a damn anyway, then is the time to make your move. You need to invent some excuse to leave the room. By this time your two cake-induced women will be so far off the planet, leaving you otherwise free to swipe C's credit-card.
Now, while the cake is working, dash down to Argos, tell their spotty dude behind the counter that you want one of their DAB radios. Sneak back home, pop the credit-card back in her purse, then saunter back into the cake room, acting as if everything is all tickety-boo and up-front-like. At this juncture you will notice either one of three things: 1) the women's conversation has tailed-off a bit, or 2) more wind-breaking, or 3) both. This is your cue to reach for the plate and offer everyone a second run.
Again, you need to wait the appropriate kick-in time. The 2nd time around may take a little shorter; all depends on how much they've scoffed and also on their metabolism. Me I'm no expert but Chalkie says you can expect anywhere between fifteen and thirty minutes. This gives plenty of time to make another excuse to leave the rooom........
So while Caroline and Mrs cake lady are comparing the size of their corns, this is when you scarper off to the shop. Now I don't own one myself, but, by all accounts, with DAB you can shout at it whenever she comes on and she somehow miraculously disappears.
Modern technology, eh?
I'm not sure how they do it, but I'm working on a similar thing, only difference, it employs a biased-junction quasi-tosspot detector. Whenever it hears a voice of any presenter/singer you can't stand, it automatically ejects them from the studio, transposing their molecules to a large vat of urine somewhere in Grimsby. I'm bit apprehensive about the trial run in case it goes loopy, sending Susan Boyle direct to my boudoir instead. You are more than welcome to take it for a test-drive..... if you're brave enough. Don't blame me if EP ends up in the raw, in your shop, nagging to extinguish your pipe.
Runs on 375x AAA-sized Uranium fuel cells.
By the by.... Mom sends her luv.