Topic: Jokes / Humour (Read 200237 times)

Colin H · « **Reply #375 on:** September 05, 2007, 09:19:10 pm »

Number Two

Did he shoot his reflection in the mirror?

Colin H

dougal99 · « **Reply #376 on:** September 05, 2007, 09:30:00 pm »

Number one: The maid - no mail on sunday

Two: as Colin says - he shot his reflection (lucky not to be hit by flying glass)

Three: something to do with the frosted window - but what?

I'll ring Dixon

Cheers

Doug

Tug-Kenny RIP · « **Reply #377 on:** September 05, 2007, 09:34:13 pm »

I thought the frost was on the inside ..............

Ken

Colin H · « **Reply #378 on:** September 05, 2007, 09:37:16 pm »

Think you are right for number one Dougal.

Number three from seeing a body through a window how could Mr Fiend suspect foul play? Maybe.

Colin H.

dougal99 · « **Reply #379 on:** September 05, 2007, 09:38:44 pm »

Kenny

You must have a very damp house

Misting would probably be on the inside but frost - think about your car on a winter's morning when it's been parked outside - where's the frost?

I rest my case m'lud

Doug

PS I suppose Martin meant frost and not mist ???

Tug-Kenny RIP · « **Reply #380 on:** September 05, 2007, 09:42:08 pm »

Good point, but when we first got married, we didn't have central heating and we could scrape the frost off the bathroom window to look out.

Mind you, there were no murders to watch out for.

Ken

dougal99 · « **Reply #381 on:** September 05, 2007, 09:46:10 pm »

Quote from: Colin H on September 05, 2007, 09:37:16 pm

Think you are right for number one Dougal.

Number three from seeing a body through a window how could Mr Fiend suspect foul play? Maybe.

Colin H.

Colin

Interesting (no I don't have a German helmet). However, if you saw a body, presumably lying on the floor, would it not be unreasonable to break in (effect an entry) to discover whether help could be provided (foul play or not).

Am I making too muchof this and should I return to making my boat?

What is the meaning of life (and I don't want 42 answers)

Doug

dougal99 · « **Reply #382 on:** September 05, 2007, 09:56:51 pm »

Quote from: Tug---Kenny on September 05, 2007, 09:42:08 pm

Good point, but when we first got married, we didn't have central heating and we could scrape the frost off the bathroom window to look out.

Mind you, there were no murders to watch out for.

Ken

Ken

Also a good point, I had forgotten my bedroom windows in the fifties

, I were but a lad. Perhaps Martin should have provided the details of the house or maybe a time/period clue. Where's Poirot when you need him?

Doug

dougal99 · « **Reply #383 on:** September 05, 2007, 10:04:46 pm »

Martin one for you and anybody else for that matter.

An old sheik lays dying in his tent. He calls for his two sons and says, "You cannot both rule the sheikdom and it is too small to split between you, so I have decided that you must race your horses around the camp to decide who will inherit. However, I have also decided that it is the owner of horse that is last back who will be the winner."

The two sons immediately run outside jump on the horses and race off at full speed.

Why?

malcolmfrary · « **Reply #384 on:** September 05, 2007, 10:18:43 pm »

Hi Dougal - jumping on each other's horses?

omra85 · « **Reply #385 on:** September 05, 2007, 10:19:09 pm »

Martins
1. (as said) the maid - no post on Sunday
2. (as said) he shot his reflection
3. it was Summer or Mr Teddy lived somewhere hot (Africa)... or the house was single glazed and Mr Teddy had his heating on full... or the police noticed the frost was on the inside (it's a very old puzzle?)

Dougals
They jumped on each other's horses. (Dang - he got in while I was typing) :'(

Danny

tigertiger · « **Reply #386 on:** September 05, 2007, 11:18:40 pm »

crazy waves, crazey people

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0fQ1eWv36o&mode=related&search=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_X4wcu-bn9U&mode=related&search=

cbr900 · « **Reply #387 on:** September 06, 2007, 03:37:35 am »

Tiger,

That jerk on the surfboard I reckon is living on borrowed time.........

Roy

dougal99 · « **Reply #388 on:** September 06, 2007, 09:23:33 am »

Danny, Malcolm,

Correctomundo. You are just too good.

Doug

dougal99 · « **Reply #389 on:** September 06, 2007, 10:58:01 pm »

Martin

where are the answers to your mystery questions? I'm sitting here all agog or something

Here's another logic puzzle/riddle for those who like this sort of thing:

In a far off land of enchantment A traveller comes to a fork in the road and does not know which route to take. Sitting by the side of the road are two men, as it is a land of enchantment they know which route he has to take. One man always tells the truth and one always lies. There is no way of telling which is which. The traveller, by common custom, can only ask one question of one of the two men.

To find his correct route who does he ask, what question does he ask and what does he do then?

Answer tomorrow.

This one took me a while to work out.

Cheers

Doug

omra85 · « **Reply #390 on:** September 06, 2007, 11:25:03 pm »

Ask either of them -
"Which direction would the other man tell me to take?"
then take the other direction.

Danny

Martin (Admin) · « **Reply #391 on:** September 07, 2007, 06:07:29 pm »

Lego Stephen Hawking.

Removed on request.

Martin (Admin) · « **Reply #392 on:** September 07, 2007, 07:14:58 pm »

It didn't take long........................

St Peter opens them and says 'oh it's you Luciano,
come on in. squeeze
through'.
Pavarotti says 'hold on, I've got an envelope for
you, from the Pope.'
St Peter opens it up and reads it.

…….

…….

…….

…………………...

………………………..

………………………….

………………………...

………………….

'HERE'S THAT TENOR I OWE YOU'

dougal99 · « **Reply #393 on:** September 07, 2007, 07:31:07 pm »

Danny

You're too good for me!

Martin

Stephen Hawkin - NOT FUNNY!!

Doug

Stavros · « **Reply #394 on:** September 07, 2007, 07:33:16 pm »

10/10 Martin excellent just appeals to my sense of humour

stavros

Bunkerbarge · « **Reply #395 on:** September 07, 2007, 08:13:26 pm »

...all done in the "Best Possible Taste!!"

Martin (Admin) · « **Reply #396 on:** September 07, 2007, 08:32:44 pm »

Oh yes, the answers...

1. It was the Maid. She said she was getting the mail but there is no mail delivery on Sunday.

2. He shot his reflection in the bathroom mirror.

3 Frost forms inside of the window, not the outside. So Mr. Fiend could not have wiped it off to discover Mr. Tidy's body.

OMK · « **Reply #397 on:** September 08, 2007, 04:13:33 pm »

"Doctor, doctor!... I've got fifty-nine seconds to live!"
"Hold on a minute!"

"Doctor, doctor!... I feel like a bar of soap."
"That's life, boy."

"Mom, mom!... what's for dinner?"
"Shaddup, and get back in the oven!"

The Essex student approaches a gorgeous floozy at the uni party.
"Can I walk you home later?"
"No, I'm on my menstrual cycle."
"That's okay - I'll follow you on me moped."

What is red and stupid?
A blod clot.

Remember...
when driving, don't forget to take the car.

Why do farts smell?
So deaf people can enjoy 'em too.

swordfish fairey · « **Reply #398 on:** September 08, 2007, 08:52:35 pm »

Sorry about this:

Barret Homes are building a Pavarotti bungalow...........They're calling it the nessun dormer

tigertiger · « **Reply #399 on:** September 09, 2007, 02:21:35 am »

I did not see the offending post.

But this is funny.

http://www.joecartoon.com/cartoons/67-frog_in_a_blender

News:

Author Topic: Jokes / Humour (Read 200237 times)

omra85

omra85

Stavros

OMK

swordfish fairey