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[RAAArtyGunner]

They walk among us
 
 One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted...."Look at that dead bird!"
Someone looked up at the sky and said..."where???"*
 
They Walk among us!!*


 While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which
direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.
She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?"
When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."
 
They Walk Among Us!!



 My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach.
She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving".

They Walk Among Us!!!!


I told the girl at the steakhouse register that I wanted the half kilogram sirloin. She informed me they only had an 500g sirloin. Not wanting to make a scene, I told her I would take the 500g steak instead of the half-kgr.
 
They walk among us!
 

 My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the boot...*
 
They Walk Among Us!!!!!
 

 My friends and I were on a Lager run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount....
 
They Walk Among Us!!!!!!



 I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I had to explain that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned...

They Walk Among Us!!!!!!!
 

 While working at a pizza parlour I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.
 
 Yep, They Walk Among Us, too.!!!!!!!!
 
Sadly, not only do they walk among us, they also reproduce!!!!

[FsASTSyd1]

And most seem to become politicians.

[RAAArtyGunner]

And most seem to become politicians.

 

[essex2visuvesi]

My local pub used to sell low calorie mineral water

[derekwarner]

 ....raaartygunner    do you think there would be a market for genetically modified, 99% low fat ....lite sugar here in OZ?  .....Derek

[RAAArtyGunner]

Derek,

 Isn't it already on the shelves

[Klunk]

I heard an irishman  invented dehydration water !

[derekwarner]

 ...freash in from Coles the freash food people  

[RAAArtyGunner]

Derek,

Patent has been lodged, we can be partners and share the proceeds

[dreadnought72]

When I had my blue Skoda Superb, I bought a Garmin satnav for it. Plugging it in, up pops an image of a blue car, on a display of roads in the local area.

My wife's (bless her!) first words were: "How does it know what colour our car is?" 

Andy

[dreadnought72]

And then there's the legendary (and true) tale of the cordless kettle.

A man at work told me he bought a cordless kettle at the weekend. His wife's first words: "Where do the batteries go?" 

Andy

[Bob K]

An Englishman a Scotsman and a Chinese man started work at the building site.  The Foreman said to the Englishmsan, "I want you to shift that huge pile of sand from here to over there".  To the Scotsman he said "I want you to sweep up any bits left behind".  To the Chinese man he said "You are in charge of the supplies".

Half an hour later the Foreman noticed the sand pile had not moved.  He challenged the Englishman, who replied "but I don't have a shovel".  He then spoke to the Scotsman who said, "but I don't have a broom".   He figured this was down to the Chinese man, and went looking for him.

Suddenly the Chinese man leapt out from behing the sand pile, and shouted "Supplies !"