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Author Topic: What did you learn from your Mother  (Read 2119 times)

RAAArtyGunner

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What did you learn from your Mother
« on: May 26, 2012, 01:36:20 AM »

In Australia we wuz well brought up,

WHAT I OWE MY MOTHER:


1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'

2. My mother taught me RELIGION .
'You better pray that this will come out of the carpet.'

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL
'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'

4. My mother taught me LOGIC .
' Because I said so, that's why.'

5.My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA
'You'll sit there until all that SOUP is gone.'

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER ..
'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY
'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
'Stop acting like your father!'

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do..'

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
'Just wait until we get home.'

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
'You are going to get it when you get home!'

18.
My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.'

19. My mother taught me ESP .
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'

20. My mother taught me HUMOUR .
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me..'

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
'You're just like your father.'

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a tent?'

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'

25. And my favourite:
My mother taught me about JUSTICE
'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you '

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TheLongBuild

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Re: What did you learn from your Mother
« Reply #1 on: May 26, 2012, 07:58:50 AM »

Not to get caught.. :}

malcolmfrary

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Re: What did you learn from your Mother
« Reply #2 on: May 26, 2012, 08:16:17 PM »

#25.  That's just mean.
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catengineman

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Re: What did you learn from your Mother
« Reply #3 on: May 26, 2012, 08:22:25 PM »

About food
"you don't know whats good for you"

I do and its not that !   = sharp pain to back of head  >:-o
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Bob K

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Re: What did you learn from your Mother
« Reply #4 on: May 26, 2012, 08:50:58 PM »

Arthur Dent:  "You know, it's at times like this, when I'm stuck in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, about to die of asphyxiation in deep space, that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young."
Ford Prefect: "Why? What did she tell you?"
Arthur Dent:  "I don't know! I didn't listen!"

Douglas Adams

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mook

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Re: What did you learn from your Mother
« Reply #5 on: May 26, 2012, 09:46:49 PM »

Mum. do you think this place is a hotel?
Me, can I have better room service please?
result clip round the ear :((

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tobyker

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Re: What did you learn from your Mother
« Reply #6 on: May 26, 2012, 11:51:51 PM »

from my mum - stay clear of horses - dangerous at both ends and uncomfortable in the middle
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mook

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Re: What did you learn from your Mother
« Reply #7 on: May 27, 2012, 07:10:29 PM »

from my mum - stay clear of horses - dangerous at both ends and uncomfortable in the middle

and they don't have bells :-)
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essex2visuvesi

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Re: What did you learn from your Mother
« Reply #8 on: May 28, 2012, 06:08:57 AM »

when talking about medicine:
"The worse it tastes the better it works!"
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irishcarguy

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Re: What did you learn from your Mother
« Reply #9 on: May 28, 2012, 07:08:01 AM »

Arty I think you have started something, I thought you hit every nail on the head, my mum died when I was 2 but my grandmother who looked after me told me that " the truth can be blamed but never shamed" & #2 "Now that you have finished your fairy story, tell me the truth". She was a woman of great wisdom, she had 16 kids of her own, she needed it. Mick B.
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Mick B.

RAAArtyGunner

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Re: What did you learn from your Mother
« Reply #10 on: May 28, 2012, 08:34:49 AM »

Mick B,

You're welcome.

Good to see we all learnt something from our Mothers/Grandmothers.

Might start another similar topic  :-)) :-)) :-))
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