Seeing a recent post on here about Hartlepool reminded me of the time when as a young Lieutenant RNR in HMS Abdiel on a 2 week visit to our adopted port of the same name the C/O, Navigator and myself were detailed off to go to the Mayors parlour for tea and tabnabs. As it was an official engagement the C/O took me to one side and told me, whatever I did, not to mention the monkey. During the do I got round to having a natter with said Mayor and his Good Lady. He was a lovely old soul and ex merch and we soon got round to a few jokes. I told the one about the three chimpanzee astronauts in a capsule orbiting the earth for a few days. There was an American, a Russian and an English chimp. The American asked the Russian where he would like the capsule to land. The Russian said he would like to land in Red Square in front of the Kremlin with all the members of the Presidium and Nikita Kruschov on the balcony and for K to proclaim him a Hero of the Soviet Union. The American said he would like to land on the Whitehouse lawn and for the President to give him the Legion of Honour. He then asked the English chimp where he would like to land. (the C/O was talking to the council Treasurer. It listening to my joke). The English chimp said he would land anywhere as long as it wasn't Hartlepool. The Mayor thought it was very funny but not half as funny as watching the skipper spray a mouthful of tea over the treasurer! My punishment was to go to the Gemini club that night as a judge at the Miss Hartlepool contest and present the cheque to the winner. I arranged for the first three girls to come aboard next day for a photo shoot for the Navy News. I recollect a front page pic of the three girls in skimpies holding me horizontal in front of the gun.
Jerry
