Model Boat Mayhem

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Author Topic: The Whiskas Diet  (Read 1659 times)

RaaArtyGunner

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The Whiskas Diet
« on: February 16, 2012, 12:10:35 pm »


I've got 2 cats.
 
So I bought a large bag of Whiskas Biscuits at Coles and was standing in line at the Check-out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a cat.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Meaty Bites Diet again, although I probably
Shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 25 kgs before I woke in
An intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants
Pockets with Meaty Bites and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is
Nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story,
Particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned
By the food.

I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the middle of the road licking my self clean and a car hit
Me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out
The door.

Stupid b*tch...why else would I buy cat food?? 
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Apismelifera

  • Shipmate
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  • Posts: 6
  • Location: Schenectady, New York
Re: The Whiskas Diet
« Reply #1 on: October 09, 2012, 01:07:06 am »

Love it. I can just picture the scene.
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Half a bubble off.
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