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[chingdevil]

Try not to groan too loud  English can be fun
Pun-ography

When  chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are  the wurst.A  soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a  seasoned veteran.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake  fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make  his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the  sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she  recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't  put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It  was a play on words.
They  told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.

A dyslexic  man walks into a bra.  PMS  jokes aren't funny, period.

Why were the Indians here first  ? They had reservations.

Class trip to the Coca-Cola  factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

Energizer bunny  arrested. Charged with battery.

I didn't like my beard at  first. Then it grew on me.

How do you make holy water? Boil  the hell out of it!

Did you hear about the cross eyed  teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine  trouble.

What does a clock do when it's hungry ? It goes  back four seconds.

I wondered why the baseball was getting  bigger. Then it hit me!

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

What  do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A  thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a  Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost  interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
All the  toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. Police  have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I  kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.Velcro -  what a rip off!

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are  sketchy.

Venison for dinner? Oh deer!

Earthquake in  Washington obviously Bush's fault.

I used to think I was  indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings,  too.   
 
Brian

[TheLongBuild]

 
See Martin still has a few creases to Iron out with the forum !
 

[Nemo]

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

The batteries were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

Police were called to a child- care centre where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds

The man who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

Those who get too big for their breeches will be exposed in the end.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.