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Author Topic: CLASSIC COMEBACKS!  (Read 1003 times)

Neil

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CLASSIC COMEBACKS!
« on: August 16, 2013, 03:15:28 PM »

Went to Skipton for the day today, and whilst mooching around the market was accosted by (what my mother used to call) a Bible Basher..........
 
"Have you been saved by the power of the Lord my son"   ....came the question ( from a chap, probably younger than I)
 
Quick as a flash I retorted.......... "Oh Lord yes, by the RNLI in 1959"
 
With a puzzled look on his face he came back............   "NO! that doesn't count!"   ....expecting me to get into some deep philosophical argument with him.
 
Quickly I turned it back on him and said.....   "but those lads must have had God's guiding hand to have been able to save me so quickly"   .........
 
At that, he put his little scripture giveaway card back in his pocket, and realised he was out of his depth ........and turned to his next (errr Victim)

1 point to me, I think, {-) {-) {-) {-) {-)

 
Now I just have to dodge the lightning bolts till my next confession {:-{ {:-{ {:-{ {:-{
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Footski

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Re: CLASSIC COMEBACKS!
« Reply #1 on: August 16, 2013, 03:47:21 PM »

Neil,


Love you man......Absolutely brilliant......Can't wait for the next witness to knock on my door!
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essex2visuvesi

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Re: CLASSIC COMEBACKS!
« Reply #2 on: August 16, 2013, 04:11:30 PM »

Brilliant!


Sadly I always think of them after the event
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Circlip

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Re: CLASSIC COMEBACKS!
« Reply #3 on: August 16, 2013, 04:33:38 PM »

Skipton is close to the Lancashire border  %)
 
 
    Regards  Ian.
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barriew

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Re: CLASSIC COMEBACKS!
« Reply #4 on: August 16, 2013, 05:40:51 PM »


Skipton is close to the Lancashire border

...and where I went to school. Didn't have those types in them thar days %%  Mind you, they didn't have a market everyday of the week then either.


Barrie
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Snowwolflair

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Re: CLASSIC COMEBACKS!
« Reply #5 on: August 16, 2013, 06:57:30 PM »

 My neighbour tells the Jehovah Witnesses that he and his wife are Bush Baptists, and that Bush Baptists prefer to make love than pray.

Confused they get to my door, and I tell them my wife and I are Wee Free and the Wee Free tell everyone they are going to hell.

I them invite them to “go to hell”.
 
...............

They seem to have stopped coming round our street in recent years, have we said something wrong?
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Rottweiler

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Re: CLASSIC COMEBACKS!
« Reply #6 on: August 16, 2013, 07:03:32 PM »

I just tell them I am a Devil Worshipper,and that I practise for the afterlife by having a barbecue.
Mick F
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Netleyned

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Re: CLASSIC COMEBACKS!
« Reply #7 on: August 16, 2013, 09:18:33 PM »

Church of Wheelbarrow
Only go when I'm pushed.
When I was doing my bit for Queen and Country
I told them my job was killing people before they killed me.
Never liked the crossword in the War cry either.

Ned
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html

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Re: CLASSIC COMEBACKS!
« Reply #8 on: August 16, 2013, 10:43:14 PM »

I came out of the tube a couple of weeks ago and there was a guy spouting out
"You will go to hell if you fornicate, swear, drink, take drugs, had sex before marriage or covet your next door neighbour" I told him four out of six must give me a slim chance of not going to hell.
Total silence after that :-))
 
Brian
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Shipmate60

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Re: CLASSIC COMEBACKS!
« Reply #9 on: August 16, 2013, 10:44:59 PM »

Only 4, I gave you a 5.


Bob
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tigertiger

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Re: CLASSIC COMEBACKS!
« Reply #10 on: August 17, 2013, 07:35:16 AM »

I use this one a lot.


"I used to be born again, but then I saw the light"
After that they kinda give up.
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Sandy

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Re: CLASSIC COMEBACKS!
« Reply #11 on: August 21, 2013, 03:36:52 PM »

Some grafitti on a toilet wall at Glasgow University way back in the late seventies:-
 
"Come the revolution, everyone will be driving Rolls Royces."
 
Underneath this.
 
"Come the revolution I don't want to drive a Rolls Royce."
 
And underneath that.
 
"Come the revolution you'll do what your f***** told."
 
 
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Snowwolflair

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Re: CLASSIC COMEBACKS!
« Reply #12 on: August 21, 2013, 03:52:19 PM »

 On the same Glasgow University toilet wall (Mens Union?).
 God is alive and well and working on a much less ambitious project!
 
And on another vein
 
Behind every ambitious man there is an ambitious woman.
 Behind every ambitious woman there is an a clever cat.
 Wouldn't you know it the world is run by cats
 
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