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Author Topic: Advice from a retired husband  (Read 2282 times)

jaymac

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Advice from a retired husband
« on: January 03, 2014, 10:25:21 pm »

ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My name is Ron. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Carol Anne. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Carol Anne to get a full-time job, along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work

Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club, so eating out is not an option in the evening. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.

I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of ageing is complaining, I think. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour.. But, Boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two, or even three days. That way, she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points..

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half-finished mowing the lawn. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man.. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed orange juice and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me, too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Carol Anne. I'm not saying that showing this much patience & consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, Guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your ageing wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.


EDITOR'S NOTE:
Ron died suddenly on January 31 of a perforated rectum. The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing, and a sledge hammer laying nearby. His wife Carol Anne was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 10 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defence that Ron, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.
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peter61_uk

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Re: Advice from a retired husband
« Reply #1 on: January 07, 2014, 04:15:53 pm »

 {-) {-) {-) {-) {-) {-) {-) {-) {-)
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Cheers
Peter

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Re: Advice from a retired husband
« Reply #2 on: January 07, 2014, 05:15:20 pm »

 :-)) I have better do the washing up then, as I have just come back from the bowling club,painful thought,happy sailing,Ray. :-)) :-)) :-))   
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GAZOU

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Re: Advice from a retired husband
« Reply #3 on: January 07, 2014, 06:53:49 pm »

the moral of this story

never turn your back to an aging woman

especially if it is your
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Howard

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Re: Advice from a retired husband
« Reply #4 on: January 07, 2014, 07:33:51 pm »

You dont retire you just stop work and become a gofor {-) as in I fogot this and fogot that so can you go and get it for me the wife says.
              Regards Howard.
 
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jaymac

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Re: Advice from a retired husband
« Reply #5 on: January 07, 2014, 10:17:07 pm »

 
 
     
Retiring is the easy bit its the getting old  that is a problem This might help
===============
love making Tips For New Seniors
     
               1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.     2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.      3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)     4. Make sure you put 999 on your speed dial before you begin.     5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember..      6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.      7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act..      8. Make all the noise you want....the neighbors are deaf, too.      9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!      10. Don't even think about trying it twice. .. . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . .. . . . ... . . . . . . . . . . .
'OLD' IS WHEN...

Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'

 

'OLD' IS WHEN...

Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

 

'OLD' IS WHEN...

Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of her face.

 

'OLD' IS WHEN....

You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

 

'OLD' IS WHEN...

You are cautioned to slow down by the
doctor instead of by the police .
 

'OLD' IS WHEN
..
'Getting a little a_ction' means you don't need to take a laxative today.

 

'OLD' IS WHEN.....

'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot..

 

'OLD' IS WHEN...

An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.
 

'OLD' IS WHEN....

You're not sure if these are facts or jokes.
 
 
[ii]      [/t]
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Boomer

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Re: Advice from a retired husband
« Reply #6 on: January 07, 2014, 10:25:43 pm »

Jaymac
Way to funny! Have to take a break from laughing so I can copy these very important points for my friends to read over at the RCGroups forum.
Truly great stuff! Things that are the funniest are those closest to being true!  :-))

Thanks for sharing.
Boomer
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gliggsy

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Re: Advice from a retired husband
« Reply #7 on: January 07, 2014, 11:03:49 pm »

nearly wet meself
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GAZOU

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Re: Advice from a retired husband
« Reply #8 on: January 08, 2014, 07:22:50 am »

this is excellent!
with your permission I will also copy the french forum

Thanks
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warspite

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Re: Advice from a retired husband
« Reply #9 on: January 08, 2014, 11:40:05 am »

nearly wet meself

isnt that another symptom !  :embarrassed:
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jaymac

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Re: Advice from a retired husband
« Reply #10 on: January 12, 2014, 04:18:47 pm »

   :embarrassed: :embarrassed: :embarrassed: :embarrassed:  I was standing at the checkout waiting to pay for my goods, when the cashier said,
"Strip down, facing me."

Making a mental note so I could complain to my local MP about this out of control
security rubbish, I did just as she had instructed After the shrieking and hysterical remarks finally subsided, I discovered she was
referring to how I should position my credit card.

I have subsequently been asked to shop elsewhere in the future but I do believe
they need to make their instructions a little clearer for seniors.

I hate this getting older stuff.
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Netleyned

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Re: Advice from a retired husband
« Reply #11 on: January 12, 2014, 04:39:54 pm »

Must have been Lidl's   {-) {-) {-) {-)


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