Well, the pantomime has reached its climax with the arrival of the replacement jumper. No - it's fine. It fits; it's the right style and colour and there are no faults or loose strands anywhere that I can see.
Along with it came a printed Delivery Note which had the usual scant order details on the front (Stock number, Description, etc). It was when I turned it over that my blood pressure went past 180/120.......
"Exchanges and Refunds
We want you to be happy with your purchase. If you're not, just return the item with proof of purchase and we'll exchange or refund it".
Exchange.
Did you see that word there, used as an alternative to Refund?
Exchange = swap one item for another of equal value; barter etc. Not "make you order and pay for a replacement before we give you a Gift Voucher as a refund for the other one, thereby making sure you have to spend another fifty quid in this sorry emporium".
Dear John Lewis - I don't have to libel or slander you anywhere. All of this happened just as I have described and folk can make up their minds about how competent etc your staff are and how honest, transparent and customer-oriented your Returns policies. No employee of yours involved anywhere in this chain comes out with any credit, save perhaps the poor guy in the store who was confronted by me at my most sardonic.
If I see you in a pub I'll buy you a pint, matey - as long as they accept John Lewis Gift Cards.....................
Caveat b****y emptor, indeed!
Dave M