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Author Topic: you know you're getting old when.....  (Read 2857 times)

jenga

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you know you're getting old when.....
« on: December 16, 2014, 10:05:22 AM »

 
You know you're getting old when....you realize you never pulled up your zip after using the toilet...You KNOW you're old when it dawns on you you never lowered your zip BEFORE using toilet
Bowls suddenly seems a very energetic and exciting game
The Co-op looks like THE place to shop
When you talk about that stunning model you saw, you mean a tug not some scantily clad young lady
you get given fudge instead of toffee
people ask your wife if you would like a drink
Biege is the colour to wear
three signs to look out for, 1: loss of memory......I forget 2&3
if you're old enough to know better, you're too old to do it
everything hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work
you buy see through night wear for wife then remember you can't see  through it
there are hills where there didn't used to be
you're the same weight as 20 years ago, but now 30% of it is in one place
jenga
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sparkey

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Re: you know you're getting old when.....
« Reply #1 on: December 16, 2014, 10:07:57 AM »

 :-)) So true! :-)) :-)) :-)) :-)) :-)) :-))
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mook

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Re: you know you're getting old when.....
« Reply #2 on: December 16, 2014, 10:24:48 AM »

you're getting old when your mind writes cheques your body cannot cash. :((

I got home from work last Friday and tried to get in using my works pass, think old age is getting to me %%
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sparkey

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Re: you know you're getting old when.....
« Reply #3 on: December 16, 2014, 10:32:08 AM »

 :-)) You know when you are getting old when "having a quickie" means going to the loo and not doing something naughty,   Ray {-) {-) {-) {-)   
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Rottweiler

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Re: you know you're getting old when.....
« Reply #4 on: December 16, 2014, 12:35:07 PM »

I think this about sums it up !



 
 
 
The GoldenYears!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
A row of bottles on my shelf
Caused me to analyze myself.


One yellow pill I have to pop
Goes to my heart so it won't stop.


A little white one that I take
Goes to my hands so they won't shake.


The blue ones that I use a lot
Tell me I'm happy when I'm not.


The purple pill goes to my brain
And tells me that I have no pain.


The capsules tell me not to wheeze
Or cough or choke or even sneeze..


The red ones, smallest of them all
Go to my blood so I won't fall.


The orange ones, very big and bright
Prevent my leg cramps in the night.


Such an array of brilliant pills
Helping to cure all kinds of ills.


But what I'd really like to know...........
Is what tells each one where to go!

Mick F  Merry Christmas (or is it Easter)
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TailUK

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Re: you know you're getting old when.....
« Reply #5 on: December 16, 2014, 01:07:12 PM »

You know you're getting old when it takes you all night to do what you used to do all night!
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davidm1945

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Re: you know you're getting old when.....
« Reply #6 on: December 16, 2014, 09:59:08 PM »

The doctor prescribed some tablets for my Mother to treat some slight incontinence, but she found that they gave her a very dry mouth. She went back to him and said "Duckie, I think you are treating the wrong end!" That went down in the family archive....

Dave
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Mad Scientist

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Re: you know you're getting old when.....
« Reply #7 on: December 16, 2014, 10:34:50 PM »

I want some of Rottweiler's little white pills to stop my hands from shaking!

Tom
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essex2visuvesi

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Re: you know you're getting old when.....
« Reply #8 on: December 16, 2014, 11:21:27 PM »

When you start a sentence with "In my day"
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dougal99

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Re: you know you're getting old when.....
« Reply #9 on: December 17, 2014, 05:11:27 PM »

When the phrases 'back in the day' and 'going forward' get you screaming at the radio/TV
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Brian60

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Re: you know you're getting old when.....
« Reply #10 on: December 17, 2014, 06:21:22 PM »

......When your feet are no longer in reach of your hands when tying your laces.
 When you have to sit down or lean on something when pulling on your underpants and trousers.
When you go for a pee and its a fumbling game for the zip because you can no longer see past the 'overhang'
When your scalp has grown through your hair ( I prefer solar panel for a sex machine)
When you describe yourself as a sex machine and your wife falls over laughing.
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