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Author Topic: How many beans make five?  (Read 5113 times)

inertia

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How many beans make five?
« on: May 18, 2015, 06:54:00 PM »

This was received this afternoon (details removed to protect the guilty):

THIS IS AN AUTOMATICALLY GENERATED EMAIL - PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO IT.
 
 Dear Sir/Madam
 
 Please find below the ***** Parcel ID for a consignment scheduled for delivery to you on 21-May-2015 on a 24HR service.
 
 Reference :          *******
 
 ***** Parcel ID:     XXXXXXXXXXXXX
 
 You can track this consignment by clicking here:
 
 24HR SERVICE - Please allow 12 hours for the tracking information to be available.


Is it my lousy counting or are there really only 24 hours until Thursday? The courier company's website insists that their 24 hour service is a "Next Day Delivery" service. As Private Eye would say "I think we should be told". In the meantime I've forwarded this E-Mail to the business who are paying for the carriage.  ;D
DM
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Stavros

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Re: How many beans make five?
« Reply #1 on: May 18, 2015, 07:16:03 PM »

DHL by any chance
 
 
Dave
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Bill D203

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Re: How many beans make five?
« Reply #2 on: May 18, 2015, 07:16:45 PM »

Dave
ive had one or two of them. Its sh**
Just delete it ASAP
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inertia

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Re: How many beans make five?
« Reply #3 on: May 18, 2015, 11:15:47 PM »

Bill
No - this one is genuine enough. The bits I asterisked relate to a real order which I'd placed just today.

Dave
No, but think of Frank Ifield and you're pretty warm  %)
DM
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derekwarner

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Re: How many beans make five?
« Reply #4 on: May 18, 2015, 11:48:01 PM »

mmmmmmmmmmm  ;D  Frank Ifield was the son of the Mr Ifield who owned Ifield Engineering in Sydney....[OZ]....during the 1940's & 50's it was the largest repairer of hydraulic components for the steel industry and the hydraulic components from our HMA warships.....

The son [Frank] failed his exams as an apprentice fitter & machinist.....then worked for the PMG [Post Master General = posting parcels].......is this where you are coming from DM?...... ....it is even rumoured that he worked as a female impersonator at one stage   %) ;D

He was then deported  <*< to the UK under dubious circumstances  {-)

......................Derek
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NFMike

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Re: How many beans make five?
« Reply #5 on: May 19, 2015, 12:59:55 AM »

think of Frank Ifield and you're pretty warm

Ah. The 'Swiss' song I'd guess.

Netleyned

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Re: How many beans make five?
« Reply #6 on: May 19, 2015, 07:30:56 AM »

On a mountain top  {-) {-) {-)

Ned
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inertia

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Re: How many beans make five?
« Reply #7 on: May 19, 2015, 08:38:13 AM »

Derek
Wayward boy Frank became a singer in the popular song mode once ensconced in the UK. His greatest (??) hit was "I remember you", a revival of a very old song. The notable feature of his version was a y*del on the word "you". His follow-up song was called "She taught me to y*del" which featured much more of that particular vocal trickery. Both recordings reached Number 1 in the UK Hit Parade, there being no competition from The Beatles at that time.
Armed with this information a quick Google search through UK courier companies might be illuminating. BTW Young Frank is still treading the boards at the ripe old age of 77. He has not appeared in the UK charts recently.................
Dave M
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Brian60

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Re: How many beans make five?
« Reply #8 on: May 19, 2015, 09:49:32 AM »

A friend out here bought a microwave oven from Amazon UK (don't ask why when they could have bought one in a local shop!) the company quoted 4 day delivery by DHL. 3 weeks later it arrived in a cardboard box covered in yellow DHL tape with big labels on saying 'repackaged on route'

Taking it out of the box it was absolutely battered, all the casing was bent and twisted, the door was hanging off and the led/control panel looked as though it had been skewered with a screwdriver.

The company (trading in Amazon)asked him to email photo's which he did, they fully recompensed him, told him to dump the new one and they would dispatch a second one using a different courier company.

Say what you like but nothing beats the good old uk post office.

inertia

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Re: How many beans make five?
« Reply #9 on: May 19, 2015, 10:53:31 AM »

I ordered  another item from a different supplier yesterday afternoon, to be sent by Hermes Europe via their 2-day service. It's just been delivered (total time since order placed is just less than 21 hours).
According to Yokel's tracking system the first item hasn't been collected yet. Their planet must turn very very slowly.......
DM
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NFMike

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Re: How many beans make five?
« Reply #10 on: May 19, 2015, 12:31:14 PM »

I sent something to NI by the Yo people last week (I usually use myHermes these days but it was too big for them). Sold as 3-5 days service, there in 2. (Actually delivered on day 3 as the recipients weren't in on the earlier occasion.)

The difficulty is that many of these carriers share facilities and vans and in all cases you are somewhat at the mercy of individual persons within the companies. So there are horror stories to be found about all of them. Regardless, now we are not shackled to Royal Mail / Parcelfarce it is a lot easier and cheaper to send parcels around the world.

boneash

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Re: How many beans make five?
« Reply #11 on: May 19, 2015, 05:00:36 PM »

I received very good prices and service for some outsize bits to New Zealand and USA from the Post Office counter staff at my local, soon to be closed and put in a little supermarket, Post Office.
By reading their and others web sites and offers I thought it was going to be impossible, going and asking worked well.

The recipients were happy too.
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essex2visuvesi

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Re: How many beans make five?
« Reply #12 on: May 19, 2015, 09:47:51 PM »

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malcolmfrary

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Re: How many beans make five?
« Reply #13 on: May 20, 2015, 09:17:10 AM »

This seems apt
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Y0yolPv7tU
But that was only four beans, adding another would give a slightly larger, but still very small, casserole.


Re the 24 hour service - often, the 24 hours only starts when THEY say it starts.  The actual duration of the 24 hours is also variable.
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Netleyned

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Re: How many beans make five?
« Reply #14 on: May 20, 2015, 09:27:02 AM »

An hour a day for 24 days.  %) %)

Ned
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NFMike

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Re: How many beans make five?
« Reply #15 on: May 20, 2015, 09:28:33 AM »

The actual duration of the 24 hours is also variable.

Well, I knew the planet was slowing down, but it's not that quick  :-)

inertia

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Re: How many beans make five?
« Reply #16 on: May 20, 2015, 03:46:02 PM »

Now we know the answer. It's just arrived after 48 of our earth hours. So Yokel Hours are twice as big as terrestrial ones.
Let's hear it for Planet Yokel!  ;D
DM
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malcolmfrary

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Re: How many beans make five?
« Reply #17 on: May 20, 2015, 04:35:39 PM »

Now we know the answer. It's just arrived after 48 of our earth hours. So Yokel Hours are twice as big as terrestrial ones.
Let's hear it for Planet Yokel!  ;D
DM
Perhaps they are compensating for those little iddy-biddy Chinese Amps.  Keeping the natural balance, sort of.
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Just Add Water

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Re: How many beans make five?
« Reply #18 on: May 20, 2015, 08:52:13 PM »

The fastest delivery I have ever had, was from Bonzai Sports in Indianapolis USA, for my new Zenoha engine.

Ordered at 2pm arrived 28 hours later in Southampton by FEDEX --- they are unbelievable.

Bernie.

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SteamboatPhil

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Re: How many beans make five?
« Reply #19 on: May 20, 2015, 11:40:11 PM »

DHL          Drop it     Hide it     Loose it
TNT          Tomorrow never today

 %) %) %)
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Just Add Water

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Re: How many beans make five?
« Reply #20 on: May 21, 2015, 07:17:06 PM »

DHL          Drop it     Hide it     Loose it
TNT          Tomorrow never today

 %) %) %)


HAHAHA  :-))

Another one, Lotus =  Lotts of Trouble Usually Serious.
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