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[sparkey]

This chaps mother-in-law goes into a hardware shop to buy a broom,so she picks one out and takes it to the counter,the shopkeeper asks her "shall I rap it up madam or are you going to fly it home" 

[BossMark]

My wife said to me, "What shall we do today?"

I said, "I'm doing nothing, it's Sunday."

She said, "Let's go to my mother's."

I jumped out of bed and said, "I'll start decorating the whole house."

[Nemo]

A man asked an American Indian what was his Mother-in-Law's name.
He replied, "She is called Five Horses".
The man said, "That's an unusual name for a Mother-in-Law. What does it mean?"
The Old Indian answered, "It is an old Indian name. It means NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG!"

[BossMark]

I was at a once in a lifetime corporate hospitality at a premier football game and I got an urgent call from the wife saying her mum's been hit by a bus and has only hours to live.

Fifteen minutes later, I'm at the hospital and the wife's hugging me. "Thank-you darling, I'm so sorry you'll miss your football."
"Don't worry, love, I wouldn't miss this - I'm taping it and I'll watch it later."

God knows why she got so upset when I started setting up the camcorder.

[dougal99]

A man went into his local pub and found his mate at the bar chuckling away to himself. “Your happy” he said “what's up?”
“Well” said his mate, “You know I won quite a bit on the lottery?”
 “Yeah but that was weeks ago”
“Well my mother in law insisted I buy her a new Jaguar.”
“So?”
 “Well I did and it bit her flippin head off.”

[BossMark]

My wife said, "It's final, we're going to my mother's Halloween party whether you like it or not. So you better decide what you're going to be."

I said, "Drunk."

[BossMark]

The police have just released my mother-in-law after questioning her about the murder of her husband.

They only spoke to her for 2 minutes before coming to the conclusion he committed suicide.