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Author Topic: Contacting My Bank is Impossible!  (Read 3426 times)

joppyuk1

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Contacting My Bank is Impossible!
« on: December 08, 2015, 12:38:12 PM »

Today I went into town to pay a few bills and sat at one of the little tables in the bank to fill up their little envelopes for paying down the chute (they only have one manual till now, and the new electric gizmos don't like me!). When I got home I realised that I haven't got my glasses. As the bank was my last call I think I left them on the table. Ah, I thought, give them a ring and ask.
Google phone number of branch. Dial it. This number no longer operative, here's a new one... diaL it, this number not recognised. Go back to first number to check I wrote down the new one correctly, yes, try again in case I dialled wrongly, same message.
Google Barclays Help, dial number, wants bank account number, haven't got it on me, and don't want to discuss banking anyway, phone now wants sort code, same problem. Phone gives me button pushing options, all involving assorted banking services, none of which I want. Try pressing anyway but still needs numbers.
All I want to do is ask if they found my glasses!!!
Phone won't let me speak to a person, I try the internet contact site, but, from all the available options  it only wants me to talk about money, so I give up after about 20 minutes of effort.
this means that I shall have to get the bus back into town, waste a couple of hours travelling back and forth, just to ask if they found them!!




[size=78%]Or, I could just write a snotty letter to Mr Chief Barclaywallah asking how customers can talk to staff over the phone.[/size]

[size=78%]Sorry, rant over now.[/size]
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Brian60

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Re: Contacting My Bank is Impossible!
« Reply #1 on: December 08, 2015, 12:47:24 PM »

Everything you have mentioned here about contact by phone. If you turn that around and it is a person not a phone, then that is what you face when you are in a branch of Santander here in Spain. The staff are so surly and unhelpful its a wonder how anyone does any banking at all.

Umi_Ryuzuki

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Re: Contacting My Bank is Impossible!
« Reply #2 on: December 08, 2015, 08:17:57 PM »

If necessary, I don't push any buttons, and if I am lucky the computer will
then transfer me to the next available associate.


If unlucky, the  computer pauses a moment and then says, "...Good bye. "


 {:-{

derekwarner

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Re: Contacting My Bank is Impossible!
« Reply #3 on: December 08, 2015, 08:45:06 PM »

In OZ ...the one we love is the Telstra lady.... :kiss:

A human voice so soft but so clear, boundless with understanding and empathy ....your answers are promised with the possibility of speaking with a real live person...but no......what ever your answer....you just begin another round robin of questions and answers

Naturally after some 20 minutes, ones patience wears a little thin and I can sense my own voice becoming a little curt or sharp  >>:-( in my responses

However....the Telstra lady's voice is never failing, never cross, always calm and still appearing as compassioned as at the start of the call  :P...if only real women were like that  {-) ...... Derek
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Derek Warner

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Colin Bishop

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Re: Contacting My Bank is Impossible!
« Reply #4 on: December 08, 2015, 09:20:20 PM »

'However....the Telstra lady's voice is never failing, never cross, always calm and still appearing as compassioned as at the start of the call'

My Sat Nav is a bit like that 'You are exceeding the speed limit' in sultry tones.

Colin
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Nemo

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Re: Contacting My Bank is Impossible!
« Reply #5 on: December 08, 2015, 11:02:29 PM »

Joppy, maybe you would like to take a leaf out of this man's book?   :}

Dear Sir

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endevoured to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, less than three seconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it.

I refer of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has only been in place for only eight years. You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank.

My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways. I noticed that whereas I personally answer your telephone calls and letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.

From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person.

My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate. Be aware that it is an OFFENCE under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contract which I require your chosen emloyee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative.

Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be signed by a Notary Public, and the manditory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.

In due course, at MY convenience, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modelled it on the number of button presses required for me to access my account balance on your phone bank service.
Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me, press buttons as follows:IMMEDIATELY AFTER DIALING, PRESS THE STAR (*) BUTTON FOR ENGLISH.
#1 to make an appointment to see me.
#2 to query a missing pament.
#3 to transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
#4 to transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.
#5 to transfer the call in case I am attending to nature.
#6 to transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.
#7 to leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required. Password will be communicated to you at a later date to that Authorised Contact mentioned earlier.
#8 to return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 to 7.
#9 To make a general complaint or enquiry. The contact will then be put on hold, pending attention of my automated answering service.
#10 This is a second reminder to press * for English.

While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the durationof the call.
Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement. May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous New Year?

Your Humble Client

P.S. Remember, don't make old people mad. We don't like it.

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derekwarner

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Re: Contacting My Bank is Impossible!
« Reply #6 on: December 09, 2015, 05:29:56 AM »

Bravo Nemo........ :-)).. I think your wit and droll humour is aligned with that from my mind  {-) ... Derek

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joppyuk1

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Re: Contacting My Bank is Impossible!
« Reply #7 on: December 09, 2015, 08:45:01 AM »

I managed to get back into town yesterday and picked up my glasses. No comment on my tale except that "it's policy". Stroppy letter gone to CEO of bank (I looked him up on the website and addressed it personally, hand-writing it so he will have problems reading it, though that will probably fall to some luckless secretary.
Interesting sidelight, on my way back two chaps were sitting behind me and one was commenting to the other about a visit somewhere and he'd been dissatisfied about some sphere of service, complained to the PR people, who'd said to him that their experience showed people were satisfied, whereon this chap had replied that "as he was a customer using the services, he had more knowledge of whether he was satisfied than they did".
I think we let things flow over us too readily sometimes, anything for a quiet life.
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inertia

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Re: Contacting My Bank is Impossible!
« Reply #8 on: December 09, 2015, 09:00:20 AM »

I don't think that banks actually want to speak to their customers for fear of what they might find. Instead they employ "consultants" (straight out of university) to tell them that everything in their garden is rosy. Mind you, the Post Office and HMRC are far more difficult to contact on a personal basis than any bank I could name.
DM
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Crossie

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Re: Contacting My Bank is Impossible!
« Reply #9 on: December 09, 2015, 12:11:05 PM »

   Banks, and just about any other major and especially State organisation does not 'care'  what the public do or don't do! Most if not all Western countries have allowed themselves to become little more than slaves to these organisations- the bank teller/tax officer/Govt agency does his/her boring job to pay the mortgage/bank loan/school fees and all the other hundred and one things that people have accepted as a 'need'. The individual at the desk does not make the rules and to maintain their employment only has to make sure that they keep to 'policy', and a complaint, unless it actually targets some individual employees personal work performance is only likely to illicit an almost computer generated, platitude filled response from the Customer Services!?!? dept.
           I doubt there is much one can do about it except to use their services as little as possible, because as in the old Dylan song- - ''the Masters make the rules for the wise man and the fools''. It is only where their profits are concerned that you are likely to make any impact--- ''money doesn't talk, it swears"

                                                        Trevor
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essex2visuvesi

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Re: Contacting My Bank is Impossible!
« Reply #10 on: December 09, 2015, 12:50:36 PM »

Vote with your feet


Switch Banks
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Colin Bishop

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Re: Contacting My Bank is Impossible!
« Reply #11 on: December 09, 2015, 01:08:53 PM »

First Direct are reputedly good with customer service.

Colin
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Bob K

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Re: Contacting My Bank is Impossible!
« Reply #12 on: December 09, 2015, 01:53:49 PM »

Can't contact my local bank branch, they closed it down.  If I do a check on my Sort Code it now points to a branch opposite the main entrance to Windsor Castle, at the top of a steep hill that's now beyond my nerve damaged legs to climb. The nearest car park is right at the bottom of that steep hill and costs a fortune - no doubt due to its lucrative tourist 'proximity' to the castle.

However, I do most of my banking online, and if I need to call someone their call centre is helpful and picks up promptly.  Paying in a cheque unfortunately has to be done at a branch, but if it is for less than the car park fee - don't bother.
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Martin [Admin]

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Re: Contacting My Bank is Impossible!
« Reply #13 on: December 09, 2015, 04:58:24 PM »

First Direct are reputedly good with customer service.
Colin

Agreed!
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PhilandIom

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Re: Contacting My Bank is Impossible!
« Reply #14 on: December 09, 2015, 08:11:29 PM »

Another positive reply for First Direct, I have been with them for 15 years and never had a problem. I even phoned them at 3am one Christmas day as I was bored on night shift and found an equally bored  staff member at the Bank, apparently I was not the first to ring to check if they really were 24/7, 365 days a year.
Pay in any cheques by post to them.
Their call centre is in UK, manned by true english speakers.
They are giving a 100 'hello bonus' for joining them.
They are part of the HSBC group so you use the HSBC branches if you ever need to deposit cash.
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joppyuk1

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Re: Contacting My Bank is Impossible!
« Reply #15 on: December 10, 2015, 11:16:19 AM »

I might look into First Direct further then. Thanks for the recommendations.

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derekwarner

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boneash

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Re: Contacting My Bank is Impossible!
« Reply #17 on: December 10, 2015, 04:07:08 PM »

Oh Derek,
you can't point out that these  wonderful people are maybe NOT pillars of society, and are NOT  running a business with all due care and attention to the benefit of the customers and the share holders....and themselves!!

After all they are giving you 0.05 % interest on your investments and charging you 10 / month for that wonderful service.
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Netleyned

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Re: Contacting My Bank is Impossible!
« Reply #18 on: December 10, 2015, 04:57:56 PM »

When contacting HSBC use Cantonese or Mandarin.
Works for our local takeaway ;D
Ned
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