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Author Topic: The purgatory of Soaps in our lives.  (Read 5795 times)

BFSMP

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The purgatory of Soaps in our lives.
« on: December 27, 2015, 01:43:24 PM »

I need say no more, but which was/is the worst.

I shall kick off by naming two absolutely top rate unbelievable ones from my past.

My nominations are:

"Prisoner, Cell Block H" being 2nd place and probably the most awful I have ever seen, and words cannot describe it in any way shape or form was an Australian production which I believe was called "Number 96" if I remember rightly, and that makes my number one slot.

Now you needed the brain cells of a top 3 Darwinian award winner to view those programmes

Jim
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Norseman

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Re: The purgatory of Soaps in our lives.
« Reply #1 on: December 27, 2015, 02:07:54 PM »

El Dorado which I think was where the BBC put all our money for a while. I can't really remember.


Dave
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Liverbudgie

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Re: The purgatory of Soaps in our lives.
« Reply #2 on: December 27, 2015, 02:37:57 PM »

You know this, I presume, because you actually sat down and watched and took an interest in such programmes.

LB
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essex2visuvesi

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Re: The purgatory of Soaps in our lives.
« Reply #3 on: December 27, 2015, 02:38:29 PM »

Prisoner Cell Block H is almost in the so bad its good category
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Re: The purgatory of Soaps in our lives.
« Reply #4 on: December 27, 2015, 02:41:59 PM »

I loved the soaps, for the same reason I loved the Jerry Springer show. Just when you think your life is not so great, you can see how others cope, or don't  %) . I think we like watching train wrecks, makes our troubles seem not so bad.
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inertia

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Re: The purgatory of Soaps in our lives.
« Reply #5 on: December 27, 2015, 02:53:47 PM »

Blimey! There's been so many duffers but here's a few that have risen the fastest to the top of the cesspit:

"Triangle" - a soap about the lives and loves of a North Sea ferry crew. Mercifully sunk after a few miserable months.
"Compact" - the lives and loves of the staff of a fashion magazine. Shallow, trite with Z-list actors and using the sets that were rejected or left over from "Crossroads"
"The Newcomers" - a forerunner to Eastenders? Not really, because these "-ers" were quite nice people moving into quite a nice rural place. It still stank of the country whenever the wind was in the right direction, though.
"The Brothers" - 70's series about a family who ran a transport company, and each other's lives. All characters were selfish, greedy, adulterous and thoroughly unlikeable.
"Emergency Ward 10" - the gran-daddy of all hospital soaps. One of the main actors still has a late-night, easy-listening program on BBC radio, and that show was from the late 50's!
"Howard's Way" - unlikeable characters with too much money and poor storylines, but nice boats to play with.
"Crossroads" - ran for so long that it became a parody of itself in the end. Resurrected very briefly  in the early noughties but should have been left where it had been buried. Did no favours at all for the Birmingham accent.

...but it takes the Americans to produce something as mind-blowingly appalling as the soap which ran for 54 years on CBS TV called "As the world turns". My first M-in-L was addicted to it but even she referred to it as "As the stomach churns". It made "Dallas", "Dynasty" and "Peyton Place" look almost credible. Vomitricious, as Steven Fry might say.

Bring back "Acorn Antiques" and Mrs Overall!
DM


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john44

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Re: The purgatory of Soaps in our lives.
« Reply #6 on: December 27, 2015, 03:04:56 PM »

I don't know how you found time to watch all that telly Mr M. {-)


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Netleyned

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Re: The purgatory of Soaps in our lives.
« Reply #7 on: December 27, 2015, 03:15:08 PM »

You would need a lot of Tellys and Time  %% %% %%


Ned
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Re: The purgatory of Soaps in our lives.
« Reply #8 on: December 27, 2015, 03:17:09 PM »

At least Crossroads gave us the Benny Hat for cold days at the Lakeside :-))


Ned
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inertia

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Re: The purgatory of Soaps in our lives.
« Reply #9 on: December 27, 2015, 03:21:26 PM »

I don't know how you found time to watch all that telly Mr M. {-)
John

Don't run away with the idea that I sat and watched every episode of all of this tripe. You only need a brief sniff of brown smelly stuff to be able to guess what it is.  8) I just have a weird memory, especially for the trivia and detritus of life.
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Bob K

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Re: The purgatory of Soaps in our lives.
« Reply #10 on: December 27, 2015, 04:24:32 PM »

I watched the first ever episode of Coronation Street, took an instant dislike to Ena Sharples and have never watched it again.  We always make a point of changing channel before the 6th note of the Eastenders theme, and the 9th note of Match of the Day.

Does anyone feel that the endlessly drawn out 'Reality Shows' drag on needlessly for months when one two hour broadcast could equally showcase all the dancers / bug eaters without repeating them ad nausium with one less person each time.  And the winner is . . . followed by a pause long enough to add another coat of varnish to your latest hull.
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Re: The purgatory of Soaps in our lives.
« Reply #11 on: December 27, 2015, 04:50:15 PM »

Worst soap in my sheltered life was Carbolic.
I'm allergic to Imp Leather .and can't stand the
smell of Coal tar. :embarrassed:


Ned
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davidm1945

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Re: The purgatory of Soaps in our lives.
« Reply #12 on: December 27, 2015, 06:42:38 PM »

For a pure slice of undiluted misery you can't beat Eastenders...

Script writing team meeting - "so what god-awful unpleasantness are we going to subject the poor idiots to this week?"

I see Babs has been made a Dame - for services to dumbing down television.

Prejudiced - moi? - never. <*<

Dave.
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Davenotdone

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Re: The purgatory of Soaps in our lives.
« Reply #13 on: December 27, 2015, 07:58:32 PM »

I seem to remember something years ago called Albion Market?  A sort of forerunner to Eastenders? Not sure myself. Don't do soaps / reality / talent shows myself. Over Xmas the best thing i saw was Peter Kay ( very funny ) and the Walliams / Lumely comedy show but then i allways have fancied the delightful Ms. Lumely ( but don't tell the wife ), regards, Dave.
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RAAArtyGunner

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Re: The purgatory of Soaps in our lives.
« Reply #14 on: December 28, 2015, 12:17:06 AM »

 
Wouldst thee kindly explain thine pugatory and how it is so. {:-{ {:-{ {:-{
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david48

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Re: The purgatory of Soaps in our lives.
« Reply #15 on: December 28, 2015, 12:22:18 AM »

I've a grandson how thinks soap is a purgatory .
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derekwarner

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Re: The purgatory of Soaps in our lives.
« Reply #16 on: December 28, 2015, 12:53:46 AM »

I am with Ned here %)...no poofie pongs thankyou.....but genuine Oatmeal soap

As an apprentice in the aluminium wire mill...there was a plume of aluminium dust which settled on one's skin  >>:-(...no amount of cleaner or sandsoap would remove it  <*<...so my deal old mum introduced me to Oatmeal soap & it worked :-))

My daughters [now 40+] years & years ago christened it 'popo'.... soap......being the same name as the oat porridge cooking on the stove

Still use it now 50 years later  O0..... Derek
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FsASTSyd1

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Re: The purgatory of Soaps in our lives.
« Reply #17 on: December 28, 2015, 07:00:54 AM »

And "Coal Tar" smell is all you get in that bright orange wrapper these days, for actual coal tar was removed from it years ago. Now named "Wrights Traditional Soap" in small print "With coal tar fragrance"


All the best for the New Year, whatever you may wash with.


Syd J
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malcolmfrary

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Re: The purgatory of Soaps in our lives.
« Reply #18 on: December 28, 2015, 09:49:31 AM »

Soap operas caused me to buy a great many books. 
Quite often I use the red button on the remote.  The top left one.  Works a treat.
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FsASTSyd1

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Re: The purgatory of Soaps in our lives.
« Reply #19 on: December 28, 2015, 11:17:16 AM »

Me to Malcolmfrary, but being a tight old git my local library sees me quite often instead of buying.
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chipmonk

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Re: The purgatory of Soaps in our lives.
« Reply #20 on: December 28, 2015, 11:38:39 AM »

Hi all I'm about to say some thing strange here.
I used to love the soaps! SHMBO loved all of them. Its amazing how much building you can get done during them. They are a necessary evil. Think of them as a female distraction system.  :-))

Cheers Chris M
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BarryM

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Re: The purgatory of Soaps in our lives.
« Reply #21 on: December 28, 2015, 11:56:18 AM »

To a pubescent schoolboy making the transition from short trousers to long, 'Brothers' and 'Crossroads' had one unbeatable attraction in the shape (and what a shape!) of Gabrielle Drake. I could forgive a lot of shaky scenery and dodgy dialogue for her.

Screens, please, Nurse.

BM
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Hellboy Paul

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Re: The purgatory of Soaps in our lives.
« Reply #22 on: December 28, 2015, 12:02:21 PM »

To a pubescent schoolboy making the transition from short trousers to long, 'Brothers' and 'Crossroads' had one unbeatable attraction in the shape (and what a shape!) of Gabrielle Drake. I could forgive a lot of shaky scenery and dodgy dialogue for her.

Screens, please, Nurse.

BM


Looked even better in UFO!!!! :-)) :-)) :-))
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inertia

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Re: The purgatory of Soaps in our lives.
« Reply #23 on: December 28, 2015, 12:09:40 PM »

Hi all I'm about to say some thing strange here.
I used to love the soaps! SHMBO loved all of them. Its amazing how much building you can get done during them. They are a necessary evil. Think of them as a female distraction system.  :-))

Cheers Chris M

It's perhaps regrettable but not all females are so enamored of these programs. Liz, like me, last remembers watching "Corrie" when Ena, Minnie and Martha used to gather for a gossip over a milk stout in the snug of the Rovers. The last time I happened across Eastenders Dennis Watts was still landlord of the Vic, and Emmerdale at the time was still just a farm. I was once dragged along to a place called Parker, just outside Dallas, to see the "real" Southfork ranch, but that was all part of the American experience to which I was subjected (having married one of them - Yank, that is - not Ewing...). All of that seems so long ago.

Senior Domestic Management much prefers Countryfile, Gardeners' World and George Clarke's Amazing Spaces. I prefer a large whisky just before dinner which helps me snooze until about 9pm!

Ah! Gabrielle Drake - auburn-haired sister of much lamented singer-songwriter Nick Drake. She's still pretty stunning at 71. Them were t'days!

DM
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Colin Bishop

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Re: The purgatory of Soaps in our lives.
« Reply #24 on: December 28, 2015, 12:14:18 PM »

I can't believe nobody has mentioned the interminable cookery programmes yet - far more cod acting than in the conventional soaps. Amazing how much they manage to squeeze out of the simple principles of cooking - heat it and eat it!

Colin
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