A JOYOUS TIME OF THE YEAR
As recorded by Marty Feldman
Mother's feeling fragile in the bathroom.
Daddy's sleeping drunkenly upstairs.
My oldest sister Anna
Has been sick in the pianna
'Cause she ate a pound of marzipan and six tinned pears (six tinned pears).
Some fathead bought the youngest child a trumpet,
And now he's blowing discords in my ear.
What I spent on my wife's present
Could have bought Mornington Crescent.
Christmas is a joyous time of year.
CHORUS: Fa-la-la-la, fa-la-la-lo.
Plastic berries on the mistletoe.
Come fill the cup with warm fat beer.
Christmas is a joyous, such a joyous,
Christmas is a joyous time of year.
Elsie's started dancing on the table,
Showing such a nasty pair of knees.
My uncle down from Leith
Has just taken out his teeth,
And any minute now he'll sing the dirty words to "Trees" (dirty words to "Trees").
Granny's reading riddles out of crackers
Which are just about as funny as King Lear.
I believe this festive season
Will cause me to lose my reason.
Christmas is a joyous time of year.
CHORUS
On the first day of Christmas my family gave to me:
Twelve pairs of cufflinks,
Eleven snowstorm paperweights,
Ten pairs of underpants with names of drinks on,
Nine pairs of underpants with vintage cars on,
Eight sets of hankies,
Seven pairs of slippers,
Six hairbrushes with imitation leather backs that, when you unzip them, you find a metal comb and a mirror and a nail file and a vicious-looking instrument whose function would appear to be doctoring cats,
Five knitted things,
Four sordid scarves,
Three potted plants,
Two grotty ties,
And Don Partridge's latest LP—!
Author
Topic: People we miss ............... Marty Feldman (Read 1698 times)