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A Groaner

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RAAArtyGunner:

A rather longer groaner

The armies of Alexander the Great were greatly feared in their day,
but there was one problem that they had that almost defeated them.

Alexander could not get his people to staff meetings on time.

He always held the meetings at 6:00PM each day after the day's battle was done,
but frequently his generals either forgot or let the time slip up on them and missed the staff meeting.
 
This angered Alexander very much, to say the least!
 
So he called in his research boys and set up a project to come up with
a method of determining the time at 6:00PM each day.
 
There were no clocks in those days, at least none that could be carried around.
(The smallest was a giant water clock)
 
"Find a way my staff can determine the hour of the day, or at least when it gets to be 6 o'clock!", he said,
"Cost is no object."
 
A study was instituted and, with several brain-storming sessions, came up with the following idea.
 
 In a land some distance away, there grew a bush whose berries contained a type of dye
that changed colour at 6 each evening.
 
They found that by dyeing strips of cloth and issuing them to the generals,
 they could see when it was 6 by the colour change, and could get to the meetings on time.
 
Needless to say this pleased Alexander very much.
 
It was then turned over to the marketing group to come up with a name of this new invention
as Alexander saw definite market potential in the strips.
 
"It can be worn on the wrist and can be easily watched for the colour change", said one junior executive.
 
"I therefore propose to call it the 'wrist watch'."
 
This name was immediately hooted down as being too bland and obvious.
 
 Another man suggested it be worn in the navel and could be observed by looking down,
therefore it should called the 'Navel Observatory'.
 
This idea was rejected out of hand as being too weird and too technical sounding for the general public.

Finally the senior Vice-President, who up to now had been silent, spoke and rendered his decision.
 
"We shall call it a Timeband, and in honour of the Great Alexander, it shall be known as
 
'Alexander's Rag Timeband!'

Capt Podge:
Here's your 1st one - G R O A N :P

Regards,

Ray.

NFMike:
Yeah, that deserves a

Nemo:
Here's another! {-)

William Penn, the founder and mayor of Philadelphia, had two aunts - Hattie and Sophia - who were skilled in the baking arts. One day, "Big Bill" was petitioned by the citizens of his town because the three bakeries in the town had, during the Revolution, raised the price of pies to the point that only the rich could afford them.
Not wanting to challenge the bakeries directly, he turned to his aunts and asked their advice. But when they had heard the story, the two old ladies were so incensed over the situation that they offered to bake 100 pies themselves, and sell them for 2 cents lower that any of the bakeries were charging.
It was a roaring success. Their pies sold out quickly, and very soon they had managed to bring down the price of all kinds of pastry in Philadelphia.

In fact, even to this very day, their achievements are remembered as the remarkable 'Pie rates of Penn's aunts.'

derekwarner:
Mathematical Scholars from the University of Wollongong have recently released a study taken over the past 14 years that concludes ......

1. the cost in lost productivity by the average Australian reading average jokes @ the average of one hour per week is ~~ AUD$1,196M per annum :o

So considering that our current Australian Government has today stated the projection to return the Country from debt to profit will occur in the year 2175 [AD]

From this, an alternate common sense approach would be to :police: BAN jokes & get on with building Australia and this would return our Country to prosperity in 2017

Derek :-)) 

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