I remembered these as well.
1. Never give your age or location in your profile
2. Adopting an avatar which is already in use by someone else will save you having to think of one for yourself. Try also to choose one which moves or flashes; they’re so amusing.
3. Always post on a non-specific board, particularly if your question is of a highly technical nature.
4. A title which actually explains your question is a waste of time; nobody reads those. Instead use a phrase which conjures up curiosity e.g. “Help needed”.
5. Typing in capital letters throughout will make your question stand out for those who have poor eyesight.
6. Never use a spell checker. You’re not helping the language evolve by doing that.
7. Punctuation is for pussies. A ‘stream of consciousness’ approach is far more interesting.
8. Capital letters for proper names is also optional; e.g. we don’t mind whether you ‘help your Uncle Jack off his horse’ or ‘help your uncle jack off his horse’.
9. Try to move discussion away from the original topic as quickly as possible.
10. Never, ever give a direct answer to a simple question e.g. “Which Brand X speed controller should I use?” should be answered “I use Brand Y”. Questions like this are also an invitation to give a lengthy discourse on the entire subject, irrespective of whether or not you know anything about it.
11. Never read any posts in a thread apart from the original and the most recent.
12. If you do read any other posts then copying someone else’s reply and re-posting it yourself will emphasise to others what a good answer you think it is.
13. Give only the absolute minimum of detail about the model in question. Specifics such as its name, size, type, number of motors etc will only clutter up the posting.
14. You can avoid the software’s rude-word editing function by substituting numbers for letters e.g. 0 = o and 8 = B. Unfortunately there are no useable substitutes for F or T.
15. This country has laws permitting freedom of expression so you can post anything you like on an Internet forum with total impunity.
16. The use of “textspeak” will show everyone how young and groovy UR.
17. It is forbidden to thank anyone for a helpful reply; only cissies do things like that.
18. Never post requests for copies of instructions; real men throw those away because they don’t need them.
19. If you are required to make a minimum of posts before you can access certain privileges (e.g. a sales board) then make up the number with helpful comments such as “Nice finish, dude” and “I have one of those, too”.
20. Ignore any reference to Forum Rules – they don’t apply to you…
and finally
21. At all costs avoid being recognised as an expert. No-one likes a smart alec.
...but
Delilah?? Come on, Admiral - don't keep us in suspenders.
DM