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Author Topic: Jokes & Humour - 2018  (Read 21374 times)

warspite

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2018
« Reply #75 on: December 11, 2018, 10:01:31 am »

Thought you might have done the basil brush version - BOOB BOOB
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LJ Crew

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2018
« Reply #76 on: December 11, 2018, 10:09:52 am »

All this begs the question "Why did Roy buy a braless wire?"
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warspite

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2018
« Reply #77 on: December 11, 2018, 04:55:47 pm »

I have seen some need to hold my Moobs up when running for the bus, a wireless bra could help in making sure I keep up with traffic news so I dont have to run for the bus  {-)
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Taranis

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2018
« Reply #78 on: December 11, 2018, 09:04:07 pm »

A young guy from North Dakota moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job.
The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"
The kid says "Yeah. I was a vacuum salesman back in North Dakota ."
Well, the boss was unsure, but he liked the kid and figured he'd give him a shot, so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."
His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down to the sales floor. "How many customers bought something from you today?"
The kid frowns and looks at the floor and mutters, "One".
The boss says "Just one?!!? Our sales people average sales to 20 to 30 customers a day. That will have to change, and soon, if you'd like to continue your employment here. We have very strict standards for our sales force here in Florida . One sale a day might have been acceptable in North Dakota , but you're not on the farm anymore, son."
The kid took his beating, but continued to look at his shoes, so the boss felt kinda bad for chewing him out on his first day. He asked (semi-sarcastically), "So, how much was your one sale for?"
The kid looks up at his boss and says "$101,237.65".
The boss, astonished, says $101,237.65?!? What the heck did you sell?"
The kid says, "Well, first, I sold him some new fish hooks. Then I sold him a new fishing rod to go with his new hooks. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition."
The boss said "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a TRUCK!?"
The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy 'a face pack & hair dye' for his wife,
 and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing.’

                                                                                                          Sanitised for younger viewers... get it Taranis?!  - Admin  %)
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grendel

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2018
« Reply #79 on: December 12, 2018, 08:17:29 am »

one of our teams at work is going out today to watch some directional drilling to place a duct for an electricity cable under a river, I declined to attend, - I told them it would just be boring.
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Martin (Admin)

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2018
« Reply #80 on: December 21, 2018, 04:25:09 pm »

 O0
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Netleyned

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2018
« Reply #81 on: December 21, 2018, 04:36:11 pm »

Where's the nut?
Ned
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Hellboy Paul

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2018
« Reply #82 on: December 21, 2018, 05:01:27 pm »

On their hands & knees looking for the bolt... %% %% %%
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TailUK

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2018
« Reply #83 on: December 21, 2018, 07:19:53 pm »

Friends will understand!
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