Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length.

[John RC]

So there I am chilling out reading and writing on this most excellent forum.
When the door bell rings and my latest acquisition arrives by UPS delivery.


Instant buyer remorse as I wonder about signing for this dreadfully packed package. Sitting there in the kitchen with this hideously wrapped shape looking up at me from the floor with my name on it.


It felt like that letter or email you just don't want to open, knowing full well you have too.


What will I tell the wife? panic setting in.


A bitter taste in the mouth becoming stronger and stronger.


As it turned out it wasn't too bad, The hull of the second hand X craft was in good shape and the package hadn't been "converted" into the back of the van. The fiendish seller had not daubed "fragile" on the "ex" flattened yet sturdy card HP printer box, giving away it's true delicate nature.


See the "package deal" below


It occurred to me there must be other horror stories about to tickle the funny bone, if not sad at the time. Hilarious now.


I've got many, it may be because I'm a champion of the lost cause, a knight willing to take on un-surmountable odds, or just a plain stupid whose skill level worse than I actually think it is.


Take for instance this Lesro wooden boat, it didn't cost very much. It was on a second hand boat show stand. A few cracks to repair here and there, strip the paint and give it a new coat (Easy).  Soon it will be tootling around the pool as a simple sailor.


It was red, it was blue, it was silver, it was gold, it was red again   


I estimated it had more coats of paint than a Rolls Royce but not in a good way. it's now waiting for some more enthusiasm.
 
























   

[canabus]

Hi John

I found my lemon at the Tip shop $15AU and thought I like the different look of the boat.

I ended up replacing the whole middle skin of the boat, adding two stringers and remaking parts of the frames.
Made an engine cover and radio hatch.

Well painted it the right colour and name it TIPSEA !!!!

Canabus

[Klunk]

not speaking about my lemon. it cost £100 and took 7 years to give away! to a nine year old as well. shall we say it had taycol non proportional rc gear in it, was 4 ft long and basically ive seen smoother warts than that pile of crap. and I've restored 50 yrar old boats in better condition
 lesson learned here. pictures lie as well as the seller!

[John RC]

Great recovery Canabus   a real head turner.
And to Klunk, It's best to get these minor setbacks of your chest and then the rehabilitation can begin.
My No2 lemon, Sadly no pictures exist (thank goodness) of an all balserwood plan built submarine, which turned turtle, went upside down and sank.
So I move swiftly on to "The Ugly Duck" No3 lemon. Again, second hand stall beckoned at a boat show. Bargain hunting "a fool and his money is soon parted" Another box of bits, and before another grasping hand could grab it "I'm buying that" I said, handing over a wad of cash.
Of course I knew what was in the box, a complete Dean's Marine DUKW, the previous owner had brought all the correct running gear, including motors and two completely different  gearbox combinations.
When getting home with the model it soon became clear the original owner couldn't make up their mind what to do with the equipment brought for the model. Drilling holes willy nilly all over the place.
It didn't surprise, instructions are woolly, probably due to so many different combinations described, The large plan although detailed was not very accurate.
There were more holes in the hull than the Titanic figuratively speaking.
According to the instructions, I think I got a complete Deans kit and fittings kit. Well, the detail parts went from brilliant to way out of scale. 


Some how the builder is expected to cut out panels and then use the same cutouts  to cover the holes they were cut from, Madness, Madness.  


Plugging the holes, fitting a three speed gearbox, sorting the scale problems, I think I've ending up with a reasonable "stand off" 6x6 scale Amphibian. Well done Dean's.... eventually.  


But it's still an Ugly DUKW.








































 






   

[Neil]

I have no lemons..........just failures


and had two in my life.............one was a "definitive" model submarine kit.as advertised.........it was a review model that I did for Radio control boat modeller...........sister mag to model boats in the 80's.......what a disaster that one was, as a beginner to submarine modelling I really cocked it up, and it sank first time out on Fleetwoods' salt water lake...........took an hour for the stern to appear above water, and I got my trousers wet going in for it.


second one was earlier than that and built plank on frame HMS Kent, the WW1 county class cruiser.........I built it from scrap timbers in my woodwork room whilst teaching, and should have known better than to mix planks on a hull.........once 3/4 built I would sail it but every time it sailed, it would leak like a sieve.......praise where it was due though.......the two esc's that I had in the boat......ROBBE Mini 200's would work anywhere, even under 3" of salt water.........and a warm soapy wash when I got home and they would work again next outing..............and get wet again..and washed again..............brilliant bits of kit..........the boat was crap but the speed controllers were great.


now, unless I get the voiths to work properly this summer, my daughter's Jupiter ferry will be my next lemon.......so 3 in 58 years ain't too bad, lol.

[John RC]

The lemons and bitterness can take many forms Neil, like the local diving club promised to call me back when I lost my Typhoon sub in a fathom of water..........  I never got a return call.  
Maybe the large pike in the murky pool put them off.


It was retrieved a week later, but my friend who managed to find it said he'd never swim in the pool again, as he felt a large presence follow him down into the darkness.


Or the time I brought a second hand Graupner Prince Eugen. After paying the seller, he kindly said he'd carry it to my car, unfortunately while passing though the house front door he misjudged gap and the mast was torn off on the door frame.
 


Easy repair but never the same.


Ticked off yes. but funny too when look you back. life's too short to be bitter.

[Neil]

The lemons and bitterness can take many forms Neil,

Ticked off yes. but funny too when look you back. life's too short to be bitter.

never been bitter about them john.............just chalked them up to experience..........learned from my mistakes and not made them again.


if you don't learn from your mistakes, you are bound to make them again..................


now drinking beer, riding motor cycles and fishing, in no particular order................I have never learned from my mistakes, lol...........but if all three combined...........made plenty of different ones over the years, 

[Umi_Ryuzuki]

Since I have pretty much scratch built all my boats up to this  point, I can only blame myself for this fiasco.
The Sparviero looks great up on the shelf. However, it might still get a chance though. 

[John RC]

With you Neil on that one.
Though I believe I still must have some sort of modelers learning difficultly, as more lemons to come.
When it comes to beer I usually set up steering and direction on right hand stick.

I can then hold the TX in the right hand and control the model with my thumb, that way I can hold a British pint in the left hand.


Heaven is:
The sun is shining, beer to hand, the lake is still, boat performing, nature all around. life is good.

[John RC]

Hi Umi
I have nothing but admiration for scratch builders, and the Sparviero built by Fincantieri-Canieri in the mid 70's was dangerous little hydro/prop powered boat.
I have a love for hydro's and modified a chineese copy "tear up" jet boat to look like a "well stand off" Sparviero model. (Any model if the right colour can look good if you stand off far enough away)
It was fast and maneuverable but had no reverse. It didn't have the foil capability as it was small and weight was becoming a problem and thought the triple foil arrangement difficult to setup.


I left foil sailing to this little boat at my "yard" which performs brilliantly on still water.   

[John RC]

How about another Lemon. No4 Prince Eugen


Who doesn't love an Ebay listing that starts with a heading @@LOOK@@! Should have a government health warning attached.

Many years ago a chap on Ebay was selling a couple of boats from the Graupner premium line. Graff Spee and Prince Eugen.

I brought the Graff Spee on a Buy it Now and was very happy with it, it sails well, adding turret rotating gear, changed the speed boat props for tiny brass props, making it lovely well detailed sailor.
I might add, he also had a SMS Emden which was looked very good too. Not for sale

Anyway several months later (Year or so maybe) The Prince Eugen came back up for sale at a much reduced starting price from the same seller. I got it at the starting price.
Hey, I was so happy with Graff Spee, had some birthday money, a nice addition to my battle ship inventory.
It didn't start well loosing the mast "see earlier post" and got lost on the way home.
The detail at 1/150 was politely speaking "poor" I've had corn flakes box models that have been better.
(showing my age, that was a time when kids had the good sense not to eat the toy in the bag).

On the water the boat wallowed from side to side, no amount lead with out over doing it would help.

Since nobody wants to see weights dangling from the bottom of a hull unless it has sails.

It had to go.

Upside a collector wanted it to go with the same scale series Hood and Bismark. I got more than I paided even after petrol money.................... Result.

 

[Neil]

With you Neil on that one.
Though I believe I still must have some sort of modelers learning difficultly, as more lemons to come.
When it comes to beer I usually set up steering and direction on right hand stick.

I can then hold the TX in the right hand and control the model with my thumb, that way I can hold a British pint in the left hand.


Heaven is:
The sun is shining, beer to hand, the lake is still, boat performing, nature all around. life is good.

that sounds an excellent scenario,

[Fred Ellis]

Hi
My Lemon is a Deans HMS Bulldog, I found it on one of the Facebook pages at a cost of £50.00,
[/color]To me it looked as if the person that made it must have used a kitchen knife to cut out the parts, and some form of house holder filler to cover up the bad joints.[/size]
[/color]So far I have remade the decks and I am now working on replacing the deck housing, I have also been looking at the Scale Warship web site so it looks as the model will cost me more in new Photo Etch parts than it would cost me for a new kit.[/size]