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Author Topic: Jokes & Humour - 2020  (Read 46331 times)

Martin [Admin]

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #250 on: May 25, 2020, 06:19:55 AM »

 
David Blaine Predicts Cards for Jamie Foxx

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jaymac

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #251 on: June 05, 2020, 07:14:19 PM »

A flight attendant sees a suspicious looking couple on board, so she reports it to the Captain immediately;
"Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking!
There is a very pretty, hot and dishy  female passenger on board, who looks quite frightened and the man she is with is a fat old slob who looks like a lecher, very sullen, mean and dangerous!
"The captain responds, "Patricia, I've told you this before. this is  Air Force One!"
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jaymac

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #252 on: June 06, 2020, 10:10:05 AM »

                                              Be Aware


                        5G Tracking
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LJ Crew

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #253 on: June 06, 2020, 10:12:40 AM »

Well an Aware is different from a Lert!
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Baldrick

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #254 on: June 06, 2020, 07:34:23 PM »

Be a Lert,   Your Country needs Lerts
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But it is the second mouse that gets the cheese.

jaymac

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #255 on: June 10, 2020, 08:14:56 AM »


At a wedding ceremony, the vicar got to the bit about anyone who had anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom should come forward or forever hold their peace.

The moment of utter silence was broken by a young beautiful woman carrying a child who started walking slowly to the front of the church.

Everything quickly turned to chaos. The bride slapped the groom and ran out crying. The groom's mother fainted. The bride's father floored the groom and proceeded to beat him about the head with his fists. The groomsmen started giving each other looks and wondering how best to help save the situation.

The vicar asked the woman "Can you tell us why you came forward?"

The woman replied...

v

v

v

v

v

v

v

v

v

v

v

v

v

v

v

"Can you speak up - we can't hear at the back.
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jaymac

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #256 on: June 14, 2020, 07:31:50 PM »

A teacher asks her class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best girl with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and we can do anything we want.
The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. "And you, Susie? " the teacher asks. Susie says "I wanna be Johnny's girl."
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Martin [Admin]

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #257 on: June 18, 2020, 08:20:20 AM »

 
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Martin [Admin]

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #258 on: June 20, 2020, 01:13:49 AM »

 






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jaymac

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #259 on: June 20, 2020, 09:21:49 AM »

Whole new meaning to going where no man has gone before
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roycv

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #260 on: June 20, 2020, 09:25:05 AM »

Sorry Martin can't see the joke, but I may have fallen in love!
Roy
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robbob

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #261 on: June 20, 2020, 10:44:23 AM »

Doesn't always work......

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radiojoe

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #262 on: June 20, 2020, 11:18:25 AM »

Never ever thought I'd say this but I quite fancy kirk  %% %% {-)


JOE.
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roycv

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #263 on: June 20, 2020, 10:40:54 PM »

It is not Kirk as we know him Joe.
Roy
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Martin [Admin]

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #264 on: June 21, 2020, 01:03:38 AM »

 
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jaymac

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #265 on: June 21, 2020, 09:31:44 AM »

 %% %%  Brilliant   always suspected you were a Mummy's boy
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jaymac

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #266 on: June 29, 2020, 12:22:27 PM »

                      Side Stroke  Only

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Martin [Admin]

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #267 on: June 29, 2020, 03:23:43 PM »

 
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Martin [Admin]

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #268 on: July 02, 2020, 03:36:40 PM »


 Me, living dangerously!


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Martin [Admin]

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #269 on: July 10, 2020, 12:54:22 PM »

 

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Martin [Admin]

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #270 on: July 10, 2020, 12:54:58 PM »

 
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Martin [Admin]

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #271 on: July 10, 2020, 12:55:44 PM »

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Martin [Admin]

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #272 on: July 17, 2020, 11:24:51 AM »

 
I didn't order anything from Amazon yesterday,

  ....... so the delivery guy knocked on our door to see if I was okay!

 
 
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TheLongBuild

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #273 on: July 17, 2020, 12:04:55 PM »


I didn't order anything from Amazon yesterday,

  ....... so the delivery guy knocked on our door to see if I was okay!

 




 {-) {-) {-) {-) {-) {-)

jaymac

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #274 on: July 19, 2020, 12:03:18 PM »

Wife says to Hubby, Betty down the road   says her husband is building her a Woman Cave can I have one?
 you already got one  was the reply.
Where she asks  reply Your kitchen
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