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Author Topic: Jokes & Humour - 2020  (Read 53129 times)

tonyH

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #175 on: March 27, 2020, 05:58:56 pm »

Non-absorbent but gave a lovely polish! Squeaky clean so-to speak %)
PS Is it absorbent or adsorbent? :-))
 
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derekwarner

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #176 on: March 27, 2020, 09:21:39 pm »

ahah.....this is an old question, sometimes assumed as a spelling error :embarrassed: ....but No....they can be considered opposite


"An adsorbent is a material which will allow a liquid, gas or dissolved solid to adhere to its surface. An absorbent is a material which will take in the liquid or gas uniformly"

Courtesy of my English Teacher in 1968?
O0 ...[when I used the wrong word in a sentence] 

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tigertiger

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #177 on: March 28, 2020, 02:22:59 am »

In that case IZAL was both. One side was ever so slightly absorbent, and the other side adsorbent.
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tigertiger

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #178 on: March 28, 2020, 02:27:50 am »

Thinking about newsprint and newspaper squares.


I am pretty sure that news print is the name of the paper, before printing has occurred. Newsprint is clean.
Even on day old newspaper the ink can come off, especially if moist. This would suggest that using newspaper as toilet wipes could leave your butt like an old computer monitor (Gray scale 16 shades)
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BrianB6

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #179 on: March 28, 2020, 06:44:25 am »

"Carson, the Times has not been ironed properly"

"Sorry m'lord.   I will sack the footman"
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Baldrick

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #180 on: March 28, 2020, 09:00:15 am »


Back in my youf ,still an apprentice on a building site, it was often an empty cement bag you had to resort to . Blue Circle was best
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tigertiger

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #181 on: March 28, 2020, 11:29:16 am »

Multi layers of brown paper sacks. Avoid the inner and outer layers, no doubt.
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Martin [Admin]

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #182 on: March 31, 2020, 05:54:29 am »

 
                                     {-) {-) {-) {-) {-)
 
{-) {-) {-) {-) {-)
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Martin [Admin]

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #183 on: March 31, 2020, 07:06:32 am »

 
"A Kent family have gone viral after sharing a lockdown-themed rendition of a Les MisÚrables song.
The Marsh household, who live in Faversham, took to singing about things people had been complaining about yesterday amid the coronavirus pandemic."

https://www.kentonline.co.uk/faversham/news/familys-viral-les-mis-lockdown-success-224818/

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Martin [Admin]

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #184 on: April 08, 2020, 03:59:21 pm »


I've just read a book about glue making,
 .... I couldn't put it down
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Taranis

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #185 on: April 08, 2020, 04:01:33 pm »


I've just read a book about glue making,
 .... I couldn't put it down

A gripping read was it?

warspite

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #186 on: April 08, 2020, 04:28:03 pm »

As long as you don't get your nose stuck in it, I ain't going anywhere, it's a lock down, so my coat is back on the hook
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Peter Fitness

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #187 on: April 10, 2020, 12:23:23 am »

It was a quiet Monday morning in September 2053 when John awoke with a need to go to the bathroom. To John, this wasn't any ordinary day! This was the day he would open the last package of toilet paper his parents bought in the year 2020. %)


Peter.
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plastic

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #188 on: April 12, 2020, 04:29:53 pm »

Germans are now panic buying cheese & sausages - - - it's a Wurst Kase scenario!

There's an expected baby-boom this year - in 2033 they will be Quaranteens.
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CGAux26

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #189 on: April 12, 2020, 07:09:55 pm »

And a great big GGGRRRRROOOOAAAAN  for that one about quarantines.  >>:-( >>:-(
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Martin [Admin]

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #190 on: April 13, 2020, 10:07:38 pm »

 
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roycv

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #191 on: April 17, 2020, 01:15:04 pm »

I heard a rumour today that with the lockdown in Italy, this year's spaghetti harvest may fail! 

This could cause the bottom to fall out of tinned tomatoes.
regards
Roy
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LJ Crew

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #192 on: April 17, 2020, 04:48:12 pm »

Roy, and everybody else. Do you remember the BBC News item about the spaghetti harvest. A news item that gained credability by having Richard Dimbleby as the reporter?
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roycv

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #193 on: April 17, 2020, 04:52:18 pm »

Hi Mr. Crew long time no see.  I remember that, I watched with my old dad, I started laughing and he told me to not be so silly as he was taken in by it.  I think if it had not been Richard Dimbleby he would have suspected it though. 

In those days things really were black and white.
Regards Roy
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LJ Crew

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #194 on: April 17, 2020, 07:31:37 pm »

Hiya Roy, If I remember aright the following year it was "The Green Cliffs of Dover". We must have had a colour TV by then to appreciate that one. Our old B and W TV had self destructed by catching fire, and it ruined the curtains too, but more worrying was the gun end of the CRT blew itself an inch into the plaster of the wall when the tube burst. Cheers John. ps. our Narrowboat was called "Long John". My wife was the skipper so I must be "LJ Crew"
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roycv

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #195 on: April 17, 2020, 07:41:40 pm »

Hi LJ not sure I remember that as I think it was when I got married and we did not have a TV for a full 5 years, just found other things to do. 

We decided to have a TV ready for Christmas when it was our turn to entertain the family.  We had it just 3 or 4 days when next door's house was struck by lightning!  It took our TV with it. I took it back under guarantee and they could not believe the insides when it was opened up, all blackened, I acted dumb!  I wondered if this was an omen?
regards
 Roy
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LJ Crew

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #196 on: April 17, 2020, 08:47:50 pm »

 Hello Roy, when I first got married we bought a maisonette. We had no TV and my Dad couldn't understand why we had neither TV nor children. We lived there for 3 years. Cheers John.
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Martin [Admin]

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #197 on: April 17, 2020, 09:15:07 pm »

 
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jaymac

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #198 on: April 18, 2020, 09:31:10 am »

*** Moderated***
The internet if full of hearsay and conspiracy theories.

They will be deleted

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Taranis

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2020
« Reply #199 on: April 19, 2020, 06:32:14 pm »

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