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[John W E]

Whilst my wife and I were walking around the lake this morning - there was a family with a very young girl, the young girl was on a scooter - and - as we came upon seating at the side of a lake - the young girl said I am not sitting there mam - dog poo - the adults said that is disgusting it hasn't been put in the bin.  The young girl then turned round and said - it reminds me of the sausages on the plate in that café - to which half the people around us burst out with laughter.  The young girl didn't even realise what she had said - but - she scooted off merrily on her scooter and left us all in fits of laughter.
 Needless to say we didn't visit the café .


John

[coch y bonddu]

Absolutly brilliant John






Dave

[Martin (Admin)]

 
       

[RST]

I grew up working in the DIY trade.  I worked in a "proper" hardware shop, you might remember the sort, smelled a bit funny "open all hours" etc.

I will always remember I sold one single plasterboard fixing to (quite an attractive) lady and said as I rang up something like 6p on the till "it comes with a free screw", much to the absolute delight of everyone ...and the shop owner taking me aside afterwards as if going bright red at the time wasn't bad enough.

....Like I said, I was quite "niave" at the time, but I have always remembered it.  Suffice to say, I'm more worldly since -but it still seems difficult to give them away?


LoL,

Rich

[malcolmfrary]

Hope springs eternal.
As a Youth in Training, I recall grovelling on the floor looking for a recently dropped threaded item.  "Whats up?" said a voice.  "Looking for a screw" says I "Aren't we all?" said the voice.

[jaymac]

Little Betty loved taking Cindy their prize poodle out for walks but today Mum says no only in the garden .Why sulks  Betty  ,because she is coming into season says mum I'll explain that when you are a bit older.So first line of  rebellion Cindy goes round to dad who is working on his motorbike  in the garage. What's up sweetie he asks on seeing  the downcrest look. So Betty tells him what mum has said.Ah says he I think there is a way round that at which point he gets an oily rag and puts a couple of drops of petrol on it.Then he lightly dabs it around The dogs  rear . Now don't go far just round the block and off she skips.Short while  later  mum  comes round and asks Father where she is   she'll  be back any minute he assures her and sure enough Betty comes skipping through the gate minus the dog.Mum screams where is  the dog  Betty replies she stopped halfway round the block Maybe ran out of petrol but its Ok all the Neighbours dogs are taking turns pushing her home

[Netleyned]

 
Ned

[Baldrick]

    It's been over 60 years since but I still wonder why as an apprentice I was sent over to the electricians hut to ask for a short screw and the sparks said his sister was 5' 3" but left hand thread  ? never did make sense .

[davidm1945]

A female friend asked me what I was doing, I said "looking for a screwdriver", she said " I'm not the driver" and walked away giggling. Took me ages to figure it out!