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Author Topic: Jokes & Humour - 2021  (Read 65258 times)

jaymac

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
« Reply #250 on: October 04, 2021, 10:41:23 am »

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Martin (Admin)

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
« Reply #251 on: October 04, 2021, 11:23:26 am »

 
    {-)
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dougal99

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
« Reply #252 on: October 04, 2021, 12:11:08 pm »



x.
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Kevin.Hutch

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
« Reply #253 on: October 04, 2021, 09:33:49 pm »

Hear Hear  :-))  and it gets quicker after 70.
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Tug Hercules Fireman

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
« Reply #254 on: October 05, 2021, 12:32:54 am »

They used to say, as You get older, time vanishes;
It does not vanish;
It just vapourizes.
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Martin (Admin)

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
« Reply #255 on: October 05, 2021, 08:57:30 pm »

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Martin (Admin)

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
« Reply #256 on: October 05, 2021, 09:06:45 pm »

 

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mogurnda

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
« Reply #257 on: October 05, 2021, 10:52:49 pm »

Martin....
Its a few miles over from Jeopardy...you know where all the jobs are in..........

David
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jaymac

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
« Reply #258 on: October 07, 2021, 07:30:00 pm »

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jaymac

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If Cars were built like computers
« Reply #259 on: October 16, 2021, 11:51:37 am »


At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."
 In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating (supposedly by Mr. Welch himself): "Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?"

 
                                           Then others added these comments:


1. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.

2. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.

3. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to stop and fail and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you would accept this too.

4. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought Car95 or CarNT . But then you would have to buy more seats.

5. Apple would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.

6 Apple car owners would get expensive Microsoft uprgrades to their cars, which would make their cars run much slower.

7. The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car fault" warning light.

8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

9. The airbag system would say are you sure? before going off.


10. If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.


11. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.


12. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither needed nor wanted them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become the target of investigation by the Justice Department.

13. Every time GM would introduce a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
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Martin (Admin)

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
« Reply #260 on: October 29, 2021, 07:56:43 pm »

 

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Martin (Admin)

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
« Reply #261 on: October 29, 2021, 07:59:13 pm »

 
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Martin (Admin)

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
« Reply #262 on: October 29, 2021, 07:59:45 pm »

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Baldrick

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
« Reply #263 on: November 03, 2021, 11:02:17 pm »

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And everyone thought it was IVAN who was terrible

TheLongBuild

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
« Reply #264 on: November 03, 2021, 11:52:26 pm »

Not far wrong, we had something similar to stop ours eating the wood on the chairs, she loved it !!

warspite

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
« Reply #265 on: November 04, 2021, 11:17:02 am »

Well it does what it says on the tin - they have at least chewed the bottle and not what the items you are protecting  :D
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Martin (Admin)

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
« Reply #266 on: November 06, 2021, 06:38:31 am »








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Martin (Admin)

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
« Reply #267 on: November 06, 2021, 06:38:44 am »




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radiojoe

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
« Reply #268 on: November 06, 2021, 09:21:13 am »

Is there a vaccine for it yet?    %%
Joe
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tigertiger

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
« Reply #269 on: November 06, 2021, 09:38:05 am »

There may not be a vaccine for Hobby Pox, but masking may be involved. ;)
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Netleyned

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
« Reply #270 on: November 06, 2021, 10:05:56 am »

Mke sure you have your undercoat on😊
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jaymac

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
« Reply #271 on: November 11, 2021, 10:46:17 am »

                                                    Pre Internet Chatroom
                                        Using  First Windows Version
             
                 Windows
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TheLongBuild

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
« Reply #272 on: November 11, 2021, 09:37:15 pm »

.

radiojoe

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
« Reply #273 on: November 11, 2021, 10:32:04 pm »

We were on a coach trip to Liverpool in 2019 and had a day in Chester we saw that sign and I asked the wife if she wanted to leave me there a while,  She said we couldn't afford it  %)


Joe.
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TheLongBuild

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2021
« Reply #274 on: November 11, 2021, 10:45:01 pm »

 O0 O0
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