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Author Topic: Jokes & Humour - 2022  (Read 11788 times)

Martin [Admin]

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2022
« Reply #100 on: May 21, 2022, 06:58:19 pm »


They're right!


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derekwarner

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2022
« Reply #101 on: May 22, 2022, 02:02:01 am »

please delete......glitch  {-)
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Derek Warner

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2022
« Reply #102 on: May 22, 2022, 02:02:56 am »

love it...... {-) {-) {-)
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Derek Warner

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jaymac

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2022
« Reply #103 on: May 22, 2022, 12:42:00 pm »


The final exam for a class was scheduled from 8:00-11:00 AM

At 10 AM, with one hour to go, Little Johnny walks in and asks for an exam:

The professor hands it to him but informs him that he still must finish within the hour or he will receive a zero and fail the course.

“That's fine.” Said Johnny, and calmly took a seat and began the test.

At 11:00, Johnny had not finished the test.

The professor asked for the exam to be turned in.

“No, thank you.” Said Johnny

“I'll finish it.”

“I'm going to my office to grade these

If you don't turn it in now, you'll receive a zero.”

“Okay then.” Said Johnny.

At 1 PM, the professor heard a knock on his office door

Not very much to his surprise, it was Johnny.

“I'm here to turn in my exam.” Said the student.


“Sorry, you can't turn it in now

The deadline was two hours ago.”

“I understand

I just thought it would be okay, you know, because of who I am.”

“What do you mean?” Asked the professor.

“Oh, I'm sorry.” Laughed Johnny

“Don't you know who I am?”

At this point the professor became angry.

“It doesn't matter who you are! You have to meet the same requirements as everyone else! Nobody gets special treatment!”

“Okay, okay, I get it

But you really don't know who I am?”

“I have no idea who you are!”

At this moment, Johnny picks up the stack of exams, slips his into the middle and hands it back to the professor.

“Have a great summer!” said Little Johnny, and left.
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Martin [Admin]

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2022
« Reply #104 on: May 24, 2022, 11:37:09 am »


Giant 3D printing ... with real supports!



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Martin [Admin]

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2022
« Reply #105 on: May 29, 2022, 03:31:45 am »

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Martin [Admin]

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2022
« Reply #106 on: May 31, 2022, 04:47:09 pm »



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Martin [Admin]

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2022
« Reply #107 on: June 03, 2022, 03:09:39 pm »



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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2022
« Reply #108 on: June 03, 2022, 03:24:45 pm »



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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2022
« Reply #109 on: June 03, 2022, 03:25:06 pm »



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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2022
« Reply #110 on: June 03, 2022, 03:25:42 pm »



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Martin [Admin]

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2022
« Reply #111 on: June 03, 2022, 03:26:52 pm »



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jaymac

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2022
« Reply #112 on: June 04, 2022, 12:23:03 pm »

cut 2
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jaymac

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What lies Ahead
« Reply #113 on: June 14, 2022, 10:45:35 am »


This is what all of you 70+ year old's have to look forward to:

This is something that happened in an Aged Care Centre

The people who lived there have small apartments but they all eat at a central Cafeteria.

One morning, one of the residents didn't show up for breakfast so my friend went upstairs and knocked on his door to see if everything was OK

She could hear him through the door

He said that he was running late, and would be down shortly, so she went back to the Dining area.

An hour later, he still hadn't arrived; so she went back up towards his room and she found him on the stairs


He was coming down the stairs but was having a hell of time

He had a death grip on the hand rail and seemed to have trouble getting his legs to work right.

She told him she was going to call an ambulance but he told her no, he wasn't in any pain, and just wanted to have his breakfast

So she helped him the rest of the way down the stairs and he had his breakfast.

When he tried to return to his room he was completely unable to get up even the first step so they called an ambulance for him.

A couple hours later she called the hospital to see how he was doing

The receptionist there said he was fine, he just had both of his legs

in one leg of his boxer shorts.


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Baldrick

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2022
« Reply #114 on: June 14, 2022, 11:49:38 am »




   70 is not old, at least from where I am standing .
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And everyone thought it was IVAN who was terrible

jaymac

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2022
« Reply #115 on: June 14, 2022, 07:13:44 pm »

Aye BEhind the mirror
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Baldrick

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2022
« Reply #116 on: June 14, 2022, 10:27:42 pm »




  At least I can still hold up a mirror , not like todays snowflakes
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And everyone thought it was IVAN who was terrible

john44

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Childrens names
« Reply #117 on: June 15, 2022, 07:58:41 am »

In the past some couples have been naming children after expensive things like pearl,sapphire,channel, ruby etc.
Will the next generation be called diesel, electric, gas,petrol.etc.


John
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jaymac

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Re: Childrens names
« Reply #118 on: June 15, 2022, 10:04:10 am »

I think Printers Ink could be Top
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mrlownotes

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2022
« Reply #119 on: June 20, 2022, 02:12:53 pm »

My tank is nearly in the red again !
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Bintur Ellenbach

Martin [Admin]

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2022
« Reply #120 on: June 20, 2022, 08:28:38 pm »


 Not yet ... but can't be long!   {-)
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mrlownotes

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Mental Health Warning - Wear a mask at the petrol pump !.
« Reply #121 on: June 29, 2022, 12:19:47 pm »

Keep a mask handy at the pump !
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Bintur Ellenbach

Martin [Admin]

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2022
« Reply #122 on: June 29, 2022, 01:24:23 pm »

 
   {-) {-) {-) {-) {-)  .....    <:(
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JoJoElbe

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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2022
« Reply #123 on: June 29, 2022, 01:46:55 pm »

right idea, wrong 'objects'  ok2
with that car and that beard the guy worries about other things than gas/oil price!  %)
If he worries, then because it's 'hip' to worry about  ;)
if you follow that behaviour, please don't forget to put the mask over the eyes after you put the fuel tap in. Otherwise you may end up with diesel in your petrol machine  >:-o


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Re: Jokes & Humour - 2022
« Reply #124 on: June 29, 2022, 01:52:55 pm »

Very strange  %) ...................................................................
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Derek Warner

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