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Author Topic: USAGE AND ABUSAGE OF TOOLS......  (Read 6383 times)

ABRAD

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Re: USAGE AND ABUSAGE OF TOOLS......
« Reply #50 on: November 24, 2007, 01:21:20 AM »

Hi Guys,
           Got to tell you about the ultimate abuse of a tool, in this case a workshop broom, you know the type, about two and a half foot across with a metal brace.
Well when I was on the shop floor one factory I worked at, backed on to a brook on one side and a canal on the other, and because of this we were always being visited by the local wild life.
In the area that I work we call them rots (black country), anyway one morning a rot was spotted running along the pipes at the back of the stores, the call went up "ROT" all present armed themselves with a weapon of there choice and the hunt started.
We managed to contain it to the top pipe in the stores, as we were not allowed to enter the store  we had to watch from out side.
The young trainee who was armed with a big broom went in to attack, took the bigest swing I have ever seen, mist the rot (it ducked), the force of the swing causing the broom head to come of.
The broom head now an unguided missile flew through the stores office door and knocked out the chief stores manager sitting at his desk.
Of course we all ran to help but I was laughing so much the tears ran down my legs!!!

Oh by the way my latest funny is a young trainee girl coming to ask if she should change a washer on a component as it was split, it was a spring washer He He.


                Regards to you all.
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Roger in France

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Re: USAGE AND ABUSAGE OF TOOLS......
« Reply #51 on: November 24, 2007, 06:51:57 AM »

I had no idea what I was setting off when I started this thread! What an inventive and staggeringly dangerous lot you are....

I cannot rival your stories of daring do but I will tell you about the practical jokes we got up to when I was a trainee.

I had been having a hard time as the youngest trainee and the butt of several tricks. Looking for revenge I spotted that our toilet had an overhead cistern with a pull chain. Next to this was a small window. Leaving the window open slightly I attached an almost invisible length of wire to the pull chain lever and fed the wire out the window. After a short time I heard the lavatory door close and someone take their place on "the throne", as they contemplated the wonders of the world I jerked my wire and the cistern flushed....as I heard the cries of shock I recognised the voice....it was the boss!

One trick I suffered from was constantly having my bike tampered with. However, one day having got my cycle clips on ready to ride home I could not find my bike anywhere. Wondering what the maniacs had done this time I searched the building high and low. Sadly I did not actually look "high" because I found it, eventually, hoisted high up into the fanlight of the double height laboratory and suspended above the most delicate and expensive bit of kit which the lab. housed. By this time everyone else had gone home and so I ignored the warnings not to disturb; move or touch the delicate precision balance over which the bike had been suspended and managed to lower my bike. Next morning everyone in the know was teasing me about "Had I got home O.K." etc. until all went quiet as the irate Chief Inspector conducted an enquiry into who had moved the precision balance. I had not quite got the bench back onto the four, slight rings on the floor. Each of us was interviewed but everyone denied all knowledge and so we were all "sentenced" to a deep clean of the labs and workshop.

Roger in France.
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sheerline

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Re: USAGE AND ABUSAGE OF TOOLS......
« Reply #52 on: November 24, 2007, 09:59:02 AM »

Hi Roger, we used to do that too... hoist the boys bike up into the rafters of the warehouse. It was a good wheeze but we ran out of places to hide it eventually. I was a bit of a Nomad when it came to work.. often choosing a type of work which interested me and getting a job with that particular company. You could do that sort of thing years ago and because I was interested in everything I have moved around a lot but have always enjoyed my work and monday morning depression has never been an issue with me as I liked going to work.
I worked for a few years with a well known radio control service company in south London as a service engineer and I have to say we spent everyday laughing our heads off as there was always some wheeze on the go and the banter and behaviour bordered on the infantile. :P
We were always winding up the lad in the warehouse ,known as 'The Gobbler.. (don't know why)  and as the tea machine was in there we were always wandering through and firing off those large elastic wing retaining bands used for the model aircraft. The lad always responded by firing them back at us and could often be seen swinging ape like from rack to rack in desperation to avoid the onslaught.
One day we designed a long pole with a RX, battery and servo at one end and three elastic bands stretched along the pole and hooked around the servo arm. We erected this contraption in the rafters about 20 feet up and aimed it at his bench, the idea being to fire this thing off remotely and watch through the window whilst he hunted down an invisible enemy. We all agreed not to switch on any TX on yellow channel (27Mhz) until the time was just right.
Shortly after erecting the thing, our boss burst through the door and said "Get the place cleaned up damned quick, the Japanese are coming on a surprise visit"! The 'Japanese' were the suppliers of all our gear and we were their sole agent in the UK so this was important.
They did indeed arrive and were being shown around the warehouse when one of their sharp eyed group spotted the 'lacky band firing machine' in the rafters and enquired of our boss as to what it was. Our boss obviously recognised this device as another workplace plaything and to avoid embarrasment claimed it was some kind of test being conducted. ::)
We were beside ourselves with fear, praying we didn't get a radio glitch and as the group moved toward the Gobblers bench the thing went off, showering elastic band everywhere. We all raced back to our benches and sat there in fear of the repercussions which were bound to follow but all the time giggling and holding our aching stomachs. My mate 'J' ( no names here) had tears rolling down his cheeks and I can still see him now, doubled over the bench.
I have to say, our boss was a great bloke, I liked him a lot and had a lot of respect for him... never said a word about it. Deep down I think he probably saw the funny side of it.
What a great job I had, I enjoyed my work, had great blokes to work with and spent everyday with a grin on my face.
You can't ask for more than that and 'J' and I are still mates today 30 years on ,even though he is still in London and I am in Norfolk. Wonderful memories... great days!


   
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tubby tomo

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Re: USAGE AND ABUSAGE OF TOOLS......
« Reply #53 on: November 24, 2007, 10:03:07 AM »

hi all many many years ago i was workink  in a scrap yard we had a big old crane the sort with a corrugated iron shed on it after the weekend one early winter Monday morning the boss wanted the crane started me and my mate went into hiding we new what was going to happen as he was never in early to see how the crane performed he cranked over the engine flipped over the decompresser and away she went we justwaited till he started to slue the jib the crane was going round & round he had to jump out we left it going for about 10 mins before we let him know how we stopped it  we said its very complicated my mate hit the clutch with hammer it stopped tuning   we said your never in early enough to know what gos on good old days O0
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John W E

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Re: USAGE AND ABUSAGE OF TOOLS......
« Reply #54 on: November 24, 2007, 12:02:51 PM »

The laughs that nearly got me the 'Sack'

Set the scene; major breakdown in the finishing bay on the Transport Conveyor.  The conveyor has sealed sides to keep out the dust but there is an 8 inch gap at the bottom in places, to which you can just squeeze through and the drive motor and gear box for the conveyor, yes, you have guessed it RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE  :D so the motor on the gearbox decides to throw a wobbler and burn out.   So my shiftmate squeezed through the gap under the conveyor to disconnect the motor from the gearbox whilst the electrician was replacing the contacts in the power cabinet.   The power cabinet also supplied power to other conveyors so that it could not be isolated or shut off. 

The shiftlad who was disconnecting the motor, once he had disconnected the motor, stuck his head through the gap to shout at me to bring in the fork truck with a sling on.   We could then drag out the motor.   

This is when I noticed that his head started bouncing from a steel cable tray on the floor and hitting the top RSJ and he was screaming and in pain and I could do nothing for laughing and even when I am writing this I AM STILL LAUGHING - imagine baldy lad - head just bouncing around - he was getting 110 volts through his head!  Therefore, when my mate, with his hand on the framework of the conveyor and everytime his head touched the cable tray he made the circuit therefore his head went back up and belted the RSJ.

What had happened, the Lecky (electrician) when he had disconnected the power supply in the cabinet, he had bent the wires down over and one of them had made contact with the framework so therefore sending 110 volts through the cable tray.

Anyway, when he eventually stopped bouncing around and he shouted out he was getting an electric shock the whole power supply was switched off.

BUT I COULD NOT STOP LAUGHING and then the manager came round and started shouting at me because the poor lad had to go for first aid for the cuts to the top of his head.

 :) :) :) :) :)

My other tale to tell, you know kitchen worktops and all Kitchen cupboards - Formica stuff, well that is the Company who where I used to work and the press as I have already mentioned, when they make these boards -  When the boards are manufactured they are made up into what are called a 'Daylight' this is basically similar to a pack of playing cards only obviously a lot bigger and normal size is about 10 foot x 5 foot and these make 8x4 boats.   Anyway, when they come out of the press, they hold a lot of static electricity. What the operators do, because these daylights have to be broken into individual sheets is, first of all, PUT ONE HAND ON THE STEEL FRAMEWORK AND PUT THE OTHER HAND ON TOP OF THE PACK TO DISCHARGE THE STATIC and, if you are in the vicinity and not knowing or the operator has a grudge against you - HE WILL TOUCH YOUR EAR AND YOU TAKE THE STATIC SHOCK and by hell its painful I KNOW.    Well, you know I mentioned the young engineer who has more letters than enough after his name, when he was on shifts with us and we were working on the press, we sent him off to purchase the coffees and there were three of us standing talking to the operator so what we did was WE FORMED A HUMAN CHAIN holding hands and the last person who was in reach of the young engineer near the coffee machine, we waited until he had just got the coffee out of the coffee machine and touched him on the ear - THE COFFEE WENT ONE WAY AND HE SHOT OFF LIKE A SCALDED RABBIT and ran out of the press bay screaming and shouting obscenities at us.  :D :D

In the morning he complained about us to the dayshift manager and what did the manager say he said SON YOU HAVE TO HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOUR WORKING HERE OR YOU WILL END UP HAVING A SAD MISERABLE LIFE end of story.  :angel: :angel:


aye
john
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sheerline

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Re: USAGE AND ABUSAGE OF TOOLS......
« Reply #55 on: November 24, 2007, 12:16:38 PM »

John, I can't stop laughing at the thought of the reciprocating head of the young lad, what a howler! {-) I bet everyone called him 'a right headbanger' after that. I know what you mean when you say it still makes you laugh when you think about it.. I do the same when these things sometimes spring to mind. There are times when my wife says "what are you grinning about"? and I just have to shake my head and say " you would'nt understand  and nor would you want to know" I'm sure she would have given me the elbow when we were dating if she knew how daft I was at times. Ignorance is bliss... bless her!
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malcolmfrary

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Re: USAGE AND ABUSAGE OF TOOLS......
« Reply #56 on: November 24, 2007, 01:36:35 PM »

There was a guy who had a workshop in one of the outstations, and one day he got a CALENDAR. 
It was much appreciated by the lads as it had imroperly dressed young ladies.  Perhaps not ladies.  We spotted him looking at August with a far-away look in his eyes.  "Whats up, B...." we said.  "I've always wanted one of them, but never had one" he said.  We looked, and it was a young lady sitting on a Harley, not dressed at all well for biking, and holding a kite.  After a while we found out that the object of desire was the kite.
So, someone turned up with some spare aluminium air presure tube, one of the extrernal lads donated his plastic sheet that was intended to keep the weather of the insides of the roadside boxes.  An infernal construction guy came up with a bobbin of lacing twine.  A few bits n pieces for the tail, and we had a two and a half yard square plastic kite.  Teamwork at its finest.
Come lunch, out onto the next door football fields, and flight testing.  It flew well.  So well that we got to the end of the bobbin, about 400 yards.  Some fool ran in for another.  All was well untill the wind dropped, as did the small dot in the distance.  It was noted that as the string was pulled, so some of the TV aerials along the road waggled.  Panic as several techies shot off to sort it.  The string was cut each side of the roundabout (bus route!) at the end of the road and it was noted that it vanished into the cemetry at the other side.  With a combination of stealth and good luck, the kite and most of the string was recovered from where it came to rest, the other side of the cemetry about 50 yards from the next road.
You become aware that there is a deity that looks after idiots, but it is also a good idea not to rely on him (or her).
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"With the right tool, you can break anything" - Garfield

John W E

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Re: USAGE AND ABUSAGE OF TOOLS......
« Reply #57 on: November 24, 2007, 03:23:04 PM »

Aye, I certainly know about smiling and laughing to oneself, it has just literally happened to me..... I was thinking about poor old Albert, he suffered from partial deafness.  Albert and Niel another shift engineer were sent out onto a job dealing with the coating machines. These machines coated paper with varnish and also, as well as the varnish, they put a green dye strip down one edge for identification purposes.    It was this green dye applicator that was always blocking up and one of the tricks was.....

WE WILL START THE STORY  ;D

Albert goes to the dye storage unit and what it consisted of was a bank of plastic bottles, similar to large lemonade bottles.  These screwed into the base & then there was a maze of different plastic pipes which went into a valve block and from there out towards the applicators.   So, Niel was standing at the applicator side of the machine and Albert is on the other side and what Albert does was unscrew one of the pipes and connects an airline of 100 psi to it.  Thinking he was going to clear out the line between the line where he was and Niel was - when one of the lemonade type bottles (ink dispensing bottle) started to expand and then THE BOTTLE JUST DECIDED TO BREAK FREE AND TAKE OFF LIKE A ROCKET spraying permanent green dye all over Albert.  Remember, permanent dye which has to just 'wear off' in the end.  :D    Of course old Albert took the full force didnt he - REMEMBER THE INCREDIBLE HULK how green he was.    Anyway the pair of them came back to the fitting shop, Albert stripped off and went into the shower and when he came out of the shower his face was still bright green apart from where the safety glasses were.     Niel could not speak to us for hours for laughing and he had been shouting and screaming telling Albert what was happening with the bottle, it turned out Albert thought he was shouting that nothing was coming out of the end of the pipe  {-) {-) :P

It took about 3 weeks for Albert's dye to wear off, and he had to live a life of solitary confinement for weeks - his wife wouldnt go anywhere with him.  ;D

aye happy times
John e
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